


My Brat (Levi Ackerman x Depressed! Eren Jaeger) (Book 1/3)

by Satanstrash_666



Series: The ‘My Brat’ Series [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bisexual, Bisexual Male Character, BoyxBoy, F/M, Gay, Gay Male Character, M/M, MalexMale, MxM - Freeform, bxb - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-11 20:43:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 32
Words: 54,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19934200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Satanstrash_666/pseuds/Satanstrash_666
Summary: Eren is struggling with depression and is suicidal. After his mom committed suicide and his dad left him when he was just a child, he showed only fake happiness. Eren has never experienced love and gets bullied for being gay, amongst other things, but when he meets a 5'3 raven haired boy, everything changes. When Levi finds out will Levi fix Eren's broken heart, or will he leave him? (Levi will be ooc and there are mature and triggering scenes in some chapters. Read with caution.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fanfiction 🥴

**(Eren's pov)**

I'm once again sitting in the corner of my closet within the darkness of my room. My head is on my knees that are tight against my chest. I melodically fiddle with the razor in my hand. I can't decide what I'm going to do with it yet.

Once my mind is made, I lightly press the razor against the skin of my wrist. I hear a knock on my door before I can apply more pressure. "Eren?" I hear my adoptive sister, Mikasa, say, her voice muffled through the door

"Yes?" I ask, silently opening my closet and sitting on my bed.

“May I come in?"

I swear, she's like my mom sometimes; always wanting to check in on me and see what I'm doing even if I don't want her to.

"Yeah,” I say.

She opens my door and walks in. I wipe my teared eyes. "Eren? Why don't you have your light on?"

“The darkness helps me think."

"Eren, you think too much." She turns on the lights and sits next to me on my bed. I don't look at her nor anywhere near her. "Were you crying again?" she asks.

"No," I say quietly, choking back tears. She grabs my chin and forces me to look at her.

She stares right into my bloodshot eyes. "Eren, what'd I say about lying to me?"

“I'm sorry, Kasa," I say. Mikasa looks over to my closet. I usually have it shut, but I forgot to close it all the way. She walks up to it and opens it. I abruptly stand. "You don't have to-" I try to say. 

She looks down at my closet floor, leans over, and picks up the silver razor. "Eren...what'd Armin and I say about cutting? You'd promise us you'd stop," she says, concern filling her usually calm voice.

"Mikasa, you know how it's like for me. You weren't there after what happened with my parents, you're not at fault for your mother's death. You're not at fault for your father leaving. You know I get bullied at school, yet you do nothing about it," I say, my eyes starting to tear up once more.

"It doesn't mean you can break a promise," she says angrily. She walks out of my room and slams my door. I hear her footsteps go down the stairs and the front door open and close.

I assume she is going to stay the night at Armin's. She usually does that when we get into an argument, so it's only common sense.

I walk over to my dresser and pull out a razor from the bottom of my drawer—which has a false bottom—and slowly shut it.

I sit down in my closet once again and slice my wrists with the new razor. I felt a wave of relief and satisfaction come over me. I sigh heavily and clean up the blood.

Luckily, my room is hardwood like the rest of the house. I want to do more. I need to do more. However, I can’t. Mother won't let me.

I climb into my bed after wrapping up my wrist and eventually feel myself grow tired. My eyes slowly make their way shut and I fall into a deep sleep.

***

I wake up to the sound of my alarm going off. I look over to my alarm as it read, "6:30".

"Damn," I think to myself. I get up and get ready for school. I put on a shirt and a jacket over it to hide my bandages, other cuts, bruises, and burns that weren't wrapped. Luckily, it is late winter so no one would suspect anything of it.

I finally end up at school and prepare myself for a terrible day once again. I walk inside and am greeted by Jean like he had been waiting for me.

He makes his way over to me before slamming me into a locker. I hear him and his friends—except Marco—and a few bystanders laugh and walk away and yell, 'faggot!' at me, as everyone knows I'm gay.

I walk into my first class period of the day as I once again get tripped by Jean. He laughs. I quickly stand and sit myself next to Armin and Mikasa, "Are you okay?" Armin asks me.

“Yeah," I reply quickly and set my bag onto the floor. I turn to the front of the classroom. My first class period is my favorite, Science. I love it because the teacher always does experiments and makes this class fun; we rarely ever take notes.

The bell rings as Mrs. Zoe, entered the classroom. She likes me and I'm one of her best students, so she lets me call her by Hanji.

We are about halfway into the class period when our principal, Erwin Smith, knocks on the door and walks into the classroom with a ravenette male whom had his hood on.

“Mr. Smith!!" Hanji yells as she spread out her arms, "What brings you here?" she finishes as she puts her forearm on Erwin's shoulder, tiptoeing to reach it.

Erwin grabs the male by the shoulders and takes off his hood. He's 160 centimeters tall, with a raven haired undercut and his bangs in his face. He has a stoic expression and handsome steel-blue eyes. "This is Levi Ackerman and he just moved here so make him feel welcome," Erwin says as he walks out of the classroom.

Hanji runs over to Levi and gives him a hug. He ousted her off him, making a 'tch' house. "Get off me, Four Eyes," he says. His voice is deep, for a 17 or 16 year-old, and monotonous, yet very sexy.

Levi walks to an empty seat in the back a everyone has eyes on him. All the girls are staring at him in awe. Jean, of course, is the first one to say something, "Hey, Marco, look at this shorty," he laughs as I hear the handsome male give another 'tch'. I quickly look back to him to see him rolling his eyes.

"Oi, Horseface." Levi says as he gets his attention. Some people laugh and turn to their friends.

“What the hell do you want?" Jean asks confidently yet obviously annoyed.

“Nothing," Levi replies as he leaned up to Jean centimeters from his face. Jean's face slightly heats up as he stares into Levi's eyes.

Levi shows no emotion whatsoever and hits Jean in the forehead with his. Jean falls out of his seat snd a few bystanders laughed, while others gasped; Hanji is snickering at her desk.

I turn around and head people whispering to their friends, "I can't believe he actually did that," or "Shorty is dead meat".

Throughout the class, I keep glancing back at Levi. He must've noticed because at some point I saw him looking at me when I look at him. My face flushed and as I quickly whip my head back to front of the classroom.

**(Levi's pov)**

After class ends, I quickly leave the classroom. I don't have the patience to talk to anybody.

That messy brown haired boy kept looking at me and it was getting annoying. I feel a tap on my shoulder, "Umm, Levi was it?" I Hear someone say softly.

I turn around to see the same brown haired boy from before. He's playing with his hands and his face is slightly red. "Yes, why does it matter?" I ask him.

"I just wanted to say that what you did to Jean was really cool." He gives me a smile, that I could tell is fake. Now that I had gotten a closer look at his face, he’s pale.

From the skin tone of his hands, I can tell that this isn't his natural skin tone. His eyes are dull. I can’t tell what color they were but they look turquoise. I decide not to say, anything.

"Oh. Well, he was getting annoying." I say as I roll my eyes.

"Eren. Eren Jaeger." He says as he sticks out his hand.

I hesitantly take it, "Levi. Levi Ackerman, as you already know."

"What class do you have?"

“English."

“have Math, I'll see you around then?"

"Yeah."

Eren and I turn around and part our different ways as I head to English.

***

I walk into the cafeteria after getting my food and look for a place to sit. I see Eren from the corner of my eye and he sees me too. He stands up and waves at me. I walk over to their table.

As I walk down the little aisle to Eren's table, I hear a few whispers and can feel a few eyes on my back. I roll my eyes until I finally reach the table. Eren moves over so I can sit.

I look over to a raven-haired girl and she glares at me as I take a seat next to Eren, "Eren, who is this?" She asks.

"Mikasa, this is Levi, from our first period," Eren says.

I look over to the said Mikasa to see she is still glaring at me, "Don't do anything to or with my brother," she says.

"Mikasa!" Eren shouts, making the whole table go quiet.

I cough, breaking the awkward silence, "Um, I'm sorry...Mikasa, was it? I don't think I ever said I was gay."

"Why would you care anyway?" Eren says.

"Eren, you know I care for you," she tries to say reassuringly.

"Where was the care last night?" I snicker a little. But then I stop. They're siblings.

"Eren, you made a promise-"

"-Eren, you broke the promise!?" A blond haired boy interrupts.

“I thought she would've told you, but can we not talk about this in front of other people?" Eren says as he glances over to me before looking back.

“Fine, we'll talk about it tonight," Mikasa says.

"I'm not going to be home tonight I'll be...out," Eren says, standing up and walking away, "I'm going to the bathroom," he says as he walks towards the bathroom.

Mikasa and the blond haired boy, still yet to know his name, stare at each other confused. "I'm sorry about him," Mikasa says. "He has some problems."

"Mikasa, it's not your place to be telling him," the blond boy says. "I'm sorry about her, too, you can stay here if you'd like," he says with a smile.

A couple minutes later, Jean, from first period, comes over and starts to hold hands with Mikasa. I look at his fist to see his knuckles slightly red . He looks over at me and we glare at each other but don't say anything.

Eren slightly limps back to us with what looks like a broken nose not long after. I look at Jean's fist and back at Eren.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren is struggling with depression and is suicidal. After his mom committed suicide and his dad left him when he was just a child, he showed only fake happiness. Eren has never experienced love and gets bullied for being gay, amongst other things, but when he meets a 5'3 raven haired boy, everything changes. When Levi finds out will Levi fix Eren's broken heart, or will he leave him? (Levi will be ooc and there are mature and triggering scenes in some chapters. Read with caution.)

**(Eren's pov)**

I quickly stand from the lunch table, throw away my barely eaten food, and yell to them that I'm going to the bathroom. Eating makes me sick. Every time I eat I have to throw it up.

It's just my luck to run into Jean on the way to the bathroom.

Jean grabs my right wrist that I recently cut last night. I wince at the pain he’s causing and he throws me against a wall. I’m leaning against the wall, rubbing my wrist as he punches me square in the nose, breaking it. 

Him and his friends that are with him start to laugh at me. I hold the bridge of my nose as I kneel on the ground. Jean kicks me in the side, causing me to topple over and hold my side, "Everyone hates you, why don't you just follow in your mother's footsteps and kill yourself?" Jean says happily as he walks away. He doesn't know how much I've thought about it. One of these days, it's actually going to happen.

I walk in the bathroom as my eyes start to tear and walk into a stall. The tears suddenly start to flood down my face as I finish going to the bathroom and walk out of the stall. I look around to see if anyone was in the bathroom. I shake my head when I realize that no one ever goes into this bathroom, and take out a box from my backpack. I always keep a spare razor in a box in my backpack because I'm desperate and normally, I cut after something like this happens with Jean.

I grab the razor from the box and press it against my skin with my wrist above the sink. I turn on the faucet and see the crimson red blood trickle down my wrist into the sink and let the water wash it down the drain. I do about four or five cuts and felt that it satisfied my craving so I wash it and put it back in the box.

I quickly wrap my wrist back up to see that the blood had bled through the cloth, "Shit too deep," I mumble and put on my jacket. I then walk into one of the stalls and shoved two fingers down my throat. I throw up what food I had eaten and flush it down. I walk out of the bathroom and walk back to the table. I see that Levi, Mikasa, and Armin are still there except...Jean is there, holding Mikasa's hand.

I angrily limp my way up to the table as Mikasa sees me and quickly retreats her hand from Jean's, "Mikasa!? What the hell!?" I say as Jean stands.

“I'm sorry, but your sister doesn't want anything to do with you anymore, faggot," Jean says, smirking.

I look over to Mikasa as she averts her eyes away from me to look at Armin for help. I look at Armin and he does nothing but look down to his half eaten food, "Whatever, not like I needed you anyways. All you did was get mad at me," I say as I look away from her and into Levi's eyes.

I don't know why I looked at him. He wouldn't be able to do anything. He doesn't know what's happening.

He looks away from me and stares at the ground.

I scoff as I angrily stomp away. Mikasa does nothing but sit there and honestly, I'm not surprised she did so. I always knew that she didn't care. I always knew that I was just a burden in her life.

I ditch my last classes and walk out of the school and to a hospital where I can get my nose checked. I’m deep into thought and then suddenly...it hits me. No wonder why Mikasa wasn't stopping Jean's bullying, she was dating him the whole time. No wonder how they found out about me being gay. No wonder how they found out about all my family problems. "Bitch," I curse under my breath as I walk into the hospital.

"Hi, it's Eren again and I'm pretty sure my nose is broken," I say to the lady at the front desk.

"Hi, welcome back Eren, nice to see you again. I mean, not really but...you know what I mean," she laughs, "Right this way," she said as she guides me to a free room, "we have a new doctor today so he's going to be checking you out today," the lady says as she shuts the door.

I’m sitting on that dumb paper stuff that you put on the weird thing you sit on because it's sanitary. I lift up my sleeve to see that my cuts from a couple nights ago are already fading when I hear the door open. I quickly put down my sleeve as the new doctor comes in but am shocked to see who it is. "Dad!? What are you doing here!?" I ask furiously.

"Oh, Eren. How much I missed you. You've grown so much," my dad says. His breath already smells like alcohol. He tries to put a hand on my cheek when I swat it away, "What's wrong, son?"

“Don't call me son. I'm not your son anymore. You've been gone for too long," I say, looking straight into his devious turquoise eyes.

He lets out a laugh. “Oh Eren, you're under my custody now. I'm back and you're staying with me. I’ve already signed the contracts,” He says as he puts tape around my broken nose that people are totally going or bully me for. He grabs me by the arm and pulls me out of the hospital, "I'm taking the rest of the day off and just put Eren's medical bill using my account, I'm taking custody of him now," My dad says as he pokes his head through the doorway as the receptionist nods hesitantly.

I get back home and sew Mikasa staring at the door wide eyed as she looks at my dad, "Grisha," She says as she squints her eyes.

"Mikasa, you're free to go. I only want Eren."

"No. I'm not leaving Eren."

"Mikasa! I don't want you here. Leave!" I say as she stares at me wide eyed but packs up her stuff and leaves.

I run up into the bathroom and grab a razor and start to cut. I look around the bathroom and see that there are already drugs that my dad probably does a lot. He was an addict before he left my mom, but he probably still is now. I do my cuts on my thighs this time, so no one would notice it.

**~Time skip cuz i'm lazy~**

**(Levi's pov)**

I’m already in the school leaning against a locker when I turn to the door to see Eren walk through the door once again wearing a jacket. He grabs the ends of his jacket with his hands. He looks miserable. His hair is messy, his nose is taped up and he’s paler. His mouth is moving like he‘s talking to someone, however, no one is speaking to him.

Jean is the first one to greet him, but he shoves Eren against the locker and laughs before saying, "Your nose is looking well," and putting an arm around Mikasa's shoulders and Armin following closely behind him.

Eren tries to get up but he grunts and falls back to the ground. He helplessly looks around to try and find something that will help him get up. I walk up to him and put my hand out for him to grab so I can help him up. He looks up at me to see me staring down at him sad he reluctantly takes it. Once mine and Eren's hands connect, I fever a slight spark. His hands are cold and dry. "Are you okay?" I ask him.

"Y-Yeah," he stutters.

"Liar."

"Why'd you even ask me, then?"

“I was hoping you'd tell me the truth," I say with a roll of my eyes.

“S-sorry," he says, looking away from me.

"Has he always been like this towards you?"

"W-well, not always," he says softly but I decide not to pry.

"I'm sorry. No one should ever go through what he's putting you through. Did he do that, too?" I ask, pointing to his nose even though I know it was him.

“Y-Yeah. He did."

"I really am sorry. I wish I could do something to stop him but I don't think I can."

"I don't think you can either. Just leave it be, okay?" He says, his attitude completely changed. I can tell he gets ticked off easily.

I put my arms up in a surrender, "Alright alright, sorry, anyways, want me to walk to class with you?"

"That'd be great. Thank you," he says as he once again, smiles falsely at me.


	3. Chapter 3

**(Eren's pov)**

Levi and I walk into the classroom and part ways. The school bell rings as Hanji walks into the classroom, "Hello class, we'll be doing a project that will be worth 75% of your grade," Hanji says after taking roll. My classmates groan, "Hey! It'll be a fun assignment that won't be associated with science!" She finishes. 

The class stares at each other in confusion, "Uhm excuse me, Hanji?" I ask, standing up.

"Yes, Eren?" She asks in response.

“Why isn't it associated with science? This is a science class after all, is it not?"

“Excellent question!" She exclaims, smiling from ear to ear. "You will be working in partners. Yes, it's the middle of the school year and you guys probably already know each other, so pick someone you have never talked to before! It's an experiment which is scientific! But it's not a scientific experiment!".

"Thank you, Hanji," I say, sitting back in my seat.

"Very well then!-"

"-What's the assignment about?" Levi interrupts, getting out of his own desk and standing.

"O-oh! It has to be about your partner's lives at home..." I shudder at the thought of telling my partner, if I get one, that my dad is back. "...what they like to do, what they dislike, etc."

"I see," Levi says quietly, returning to his seat.

"Okay, very well then, and you guys can pick your partners."

I sit at my desk and put my head down, knowing no one would pick me. I'm a burden and a nuisance to this whole school. Everyone hates me. I don't matter to anyone.

I take a glance over to Levi without realizing I did. Before glancing back to my desk, I saw a girl with strawberry blonde hair walk up to him. 

I lower my head again as she sits next to him, putting down her bag. I don't know whether this was jealousy or what. I then look over at Jean and see Mikasa, Armin, and Jean working in a group of three. "Whatever," I thought, rolling my eyes and looking back at the desk. 

As I was still looking down at my desk, the desk in front of me gets pulled out and someone dressed in all black sits in front of me. I look up to see none other than Levi himself. I quickly glance back down and I hear him give a 'tch'. I could feel him rolling his eyes at me. 

I feel a hand on my chin as it was forced upwards. My head follows the male's hand as mine and Levi's eyes connect.

It takes me a while to realize that mine and Levi's faces were only centimeters apart. My face flushed pink as I fall back in surprise. "If someone walks up to you, you greet them," Levi says coldly. 

"S-sorry," I stutter, still from shock. 

"Tch, it's fine. Be my partner," he asks, but mainly sounding like an order. 

“N-no. It's fine. You can go with that strawberry-haired girl. I-It's okay," I stutter, turning my face away from his.

"Hm? Jealous?"

My cheeks flush a darker pink, "N-no! N-not at all. I-It's just that...I-If you're m-my partner...people might make fun of you and start bullying you."

"Tch, Shitty Brat, I don't care about either of those things."

"R-really?”

"Plus, I want to get to know you better," He says emotionlessly.

"O-okay."

"When's your birthday?"

"March 30th, and yours?"

“...."

"Please?~"

"....December 25th," Levi finally says after a long pause of silence.

"Dude! That's cool!"

"No."

"Yes."

"Tch. You're such a child."

“N-no I'm not!"

"That just serves my point."

"Hmph," I say as I cross my arms and Levi rolls his eyes at my 'child-like' gesture. He stops asking me questions as we sit here in silence.

"Oi, what's your address?" He asks me.

“W-why do you need it?" I ask him, mainly not wanting him to come over because of my dad.

“We have to do this project, don't we? We won't be having a whole month just to do this assignment in class, are we?"

“N-no. I don't think so."

“Then it's settled. What's your address?"

I gave him my address as the bell rung rings we leave class. "I'll see you in P.E.?" I ask Levi.

"Yeah," he replies.

**~Time skip cuz I'm lazy~**

I open the door to my house as I see my dad in the kitchen. There were three empty bottles of beer and was holding the fourth one in his right hand with a slight blush on his face, "You're late," He slurs.

"And you're drunk," I say, rolling my eyes.

"What'd you say to me, boy?" He asks angrily, taking long strides to meet me. 

“I just said you were-" I get cut off by my dad slapping me across the face. "What the hell!?" I yell, holding where he had hit.

“You were being annoying."

“Doesn't mean you can hit me!"

“I can do what I want. I'm your father."

"I fuck wish you weren't," I say, running up the stairs into my room. I slam my door shut and hop on my bed. I take off my jacket, pulling up my sleeve up to my forearm. I take off the bandage that was wrapped around my arm. I look at all the cuts, burns, bruises, and scars that trace up my arms.

***

I was sitting in my room when my dad knocks on my door. "Eren, there's someone here to see you," he tells me after knocking.

"Let them in," I say through tears.

I hear my door open as I look to the doorway and see Levi. "L-Levi!? What are you doing here?"

He rolls his eyes, "Idiot, the project?"

"R-right...anyways, you can ask me questions."

"Right, favorite color?"

"Black."

Levi writes it down.

"What do you like to do?"

"Lay in bed."

He rolls his eyes but writes it down anyway. 

"How's your life at home?"

I freeze, "good," I say dryly.

He rolls his eyes again, "Eren, you can tell me anything."

“I know."

"Okay, uhm. How's your mom?"

I freeze again, "dead," I deadpan.

"Shit, I'm sorry...uhm, your dad?"

I freeze once more, "he's good."

Not surprisingly, Levi once again, rolls his handsome steel-blue eyes, "Any siblings?"

“Not that I know of. Only Mikasa, my adoptive sister."

"Sexuality?"

I scoff, "You know."

"I know. I want to hear you say it."

“No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

“Look who's being the child now?"

"You."

I roll my eyes, "whatever."

**(Levi's pov)**

"How are things with you? Like, are you okay, and everything?" I ask Eren.

Eren looks down at his wrist and starts rubbing it before answering, "Yeah. I'm okay," He finally says. 

“Liar," I said rolling my eyes.

"Am not!"

"Tch, he's such a damn child," I think, "Fine then," I say as I tackle Eren onto the bed. I hold his arms above his head with one of my hands as the other was placed on the left side of his face. My left knee is on the outside of his right knee and my right knee in between his legs. I put my face close to his.

He flinches and shuts his eyes tightly, "L-Levi what are you...?" He asks as I slide down his sleeve to reveal man, not to mention fresh, cuts, bruises, burns, and scars. 

I stare at it wide-eyed, "Stop!" Eren yells, shoving me off him and pulling his sleeve back down.

I sit on the edge of the bed in shock, "I-I'm sorry...I went too far. I should go," I say as I quickly get up and run out of his house.


	4. Chapter 4

**(Eren's pov)**

Levi runs out my door and I sit on the edge of my bed, tears streaming down my face, _'Look, you scared him away. Well, there goes another one,'_ the voice says.

I lift my sleeves back up and look at my scars, burns, and bruises. The not so recent burns were only a light red. The ones which have been recent, however, were a dark red and blistered.

The bruises are indescribable. Some are a very dark purple on the outside that faded to a dark blue then a dark red, then finally a light reddish pink. There are some that are a dark purple on the outside fading to a blue, then faded to pink. Some are just red or purple splotches of bruises with some brown.

There are horizontal cuts that were deep, and horizontal cuts that weren't. The vertical cuts I tried not to cut too deep on. I didn't want to die just yet. I couldn't die yet. I needed to suffer. It was my fault my mom killed herself.

She killed herself right in front of me. She blames it on me. Her last words to me were about me. She's made me believe that it truly was my fault.

I lower my head and see tears fall to my bedroom floor. I can’t get Levi out of my head. The face of shock he had on his face will never leave my mind.

Did he actually care? No, that can't be it. No one cares.

"I should go to bed," I mumble. "Though...it's only 6:30...oh well. I need the sleep anyway." I stand to turn off my lights, and then went climbing into bed.

***

_I'm in a black void of nothingness. It's pitch black, no one and nothing to be seen. I realize that I'm the only one here. I look down at my hands and see that they're covered in blood and a knife in one of them._

_My eyes widen in shock. I look up again to see my mother standing right in front of me drenched in blood. "You did this to me. You're a monster. You don't deserve to live...no, you don't deserve to die. You deserve worse. Torture. You deserve to live with the fact that you killed your own mother," She growls at me, "I wish you were never born." She turns and starts to walk away._

_“I'm sorry, Mom!" I yell as I fall to my knees. "I know this is my fault. I know I did this to you. I didn't mean to drive father away. I know you loved him. I love you, Mom. Please forgive me," I quietly say as I start to sob, holding my face with my blood covered hands._

_She turned towards me. "Oh Eren...I know you didn't mean to. I love you, my son," she says as she spread out her arms. I run to her as quick as possible and we embrace. "I didn't mean what I said. I'm very glad you were born," my mother finishes as she hugs me harder. I suddenly felt a pain in my abdomen._

_I put my hand to my stomach and pull it away. I look down at my hand to see it covered in even more blood._

_I look up to her with wide eyes. "Oh Eren...you really think I would ever forgive you? I meant everything I said. Rule number one of this damned world: Trust no one," She says maniacally, fiddling with the knife that was drenched with my blood._

_I see my mother turn and walk away from me. Everything suddenly starts to fade black as I lose consciousness and fall to the ground._

***

I wake up and quickly sit up in my bed, sweating. I hold a hand against my head. I stand up and look in the mirror. _‘you look like a mess. But then again, you always do,'_ the voice said.

I walk into the bathroom and ran the bath. I grab my lighter as I sit in the bathtub, waiting for it to fill.

_click._

_click._

_click._

The flame appears and I stare at it in awe. The flame is an orange and yellow mix with blue at the base of the fire. I place my hand on the rim of the bathtub for it to rest. I watch the beautiful flame as the scorching water reaches my shins. "Maybe...if I hurt myself enough...I could be happy again. I could feel other emotions besides sadness and anger," I mumble as I bring the flame to my resting arm. 

The skin sends out signals, telling me to stop. The nerves on skin tells me that it's hot and it's going to burn me, but I keep it in its spot. Tears start to fall down my cheeks as I bite my bottom lip.

I press harder into my lip and slightly break the skin, causing my bottom lip to bleed. The skin was slowly starting to burn as I brung the fire closer to my arm. Smoke starts to rise and my skin turns red as it slightly blisters.

_“Why do you hurt yourself? It's hurting me to see you like this. Eren, I love you and I'm not going anywhere. I'm never going to leave you. Can't you see what you're doing to yourself if killing me?" Mikasa starts to cry and pulls me into an embrace. "Don't hate yourself. I'm here for you. You're the most amazing brother I could ask for. I love you. I'm right here..."_

I begin to cry, the burning sensation from the flame against my arm. My quivering nerves telling me to stop. I'm not only crying because of the pain from the flame, but also the memories are bringing these tears to my eyes. I want everything to stop. I want to die.

The skin starts losing feeling as the blistering becomes more. I hold the flame against my arm a few seconds longer then turn it off and throw it onto my bathroom counter.

I tightly shut my eyes as tears creep through. I turn to my side and slide deeper into the scorching water. My body parts that aren’t used to the water hated it. However, I‘m too upset to care. My burn and the hot water mix, making a terrible sensation of pain shoot through me starting at the burn. I donly move. I‘m being stubborn and I stay as I soon became numb to the pain.

"You faggot" "Kill yourself" "Just die already. It'll be better for all of us if you were to just disappear" "fag".

I start to cry as the voice speaks, _'cooking yourself? That's pathetic. Just hang yourself. Drink bleach. Shoot yourself. Jump off a bridge. Kill yourself, there are so many ways to do it, just pick one and get it over with, you're worthless. Everyone, including me, wishes you were never born.'_

I remain silent as I listen to the voice. I slowly slip my whole body under the hot water. I hug my knees, putting myself into a small ball as I lay in the water. I hold my breath and suddenly the voice isn't clear. It's like the voice is coming from the surface.

My eyes are tightly shut as I stay under. I quietly think and wonder what the hell I did to deserve this damned voice in my head and this shitty life.

I open my mouth and my eyes. My mouth releases air bubbles. They find their way to the surface and I watch them reach their way to the top. I feel my lungs begin to burn and ache. My pounding heart picks up its pace. My eyes start to slightly burn and my lungs beg for air. I keep myself under, soon seeing stars. Then I start to see faces. The faces of the people I used to be close with: Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Marco, Historia, Mom, Dad, and then a face I could never forget.

It was Levi. He was covered in blood. His cold, steel blue eyes, gone. Instead, his eye sockets were empty, showing only blackness. Blood escaped his eyes as it flowed down his face, like tears. His raven hair drenched red from the blood so much that it looked like it was poured onto his head. The rest of his body was also covered his blood. However, something caught my eyes. Levi's throat was cut deep; deep enough that it showed his cervical.

I quickly shoot up from the bath water. 'Did you see him? Well, of course, you did. You did that. That's your fault. You're never going to escape this hell. Do it. Go and jump off a cliff. Right now.' The voice says. I ignore it as I get out of the tub.

I get dressed and ignore my wasted dad asleep on the couch. I quietly open and shut the front door and start to walk to school. I walk into the school and scan the hallway only to see Levi. He was talking to the same strawberry-blonde haired girl from yesterday. 

Levi leans against a locker slightly looking down to at the girl. _'Sexy, right? Too bad he's not ever going to like you, you useless piece of shit.'_

I look down at the ground as I quickly walk pass them. I walk into the classroom and quickly sit in my desk. I'm the only one here. It makes sense. I'm here 30 minutes early.

I pull down my sleeve and look at the burn from earlier. It was still sending me pain signals through my whole body as my jacket touches the burn. I start to cry.

I hear the door slide open and I quickly pull down my sleeve and wipe away my tears. I look up to see Levi. "I'm sorry about yesterday. I was out of line. It wasn't necessary for me to do that. I'm sorry," Levi says as he sits in the desk in front of me.

"It's okay," I quietly reply. He probably couldn't hear it because my head is lowered and on my desk.

"Tch, brat," Levi says as he grabs my hair and forces me to look into my eyes. "Didn't I tell you to look me in the eyes?" he says coldly. Levi let go of my hair as I keep my head up. I slightly lower it so I wasn't looking him into the eyes. Levi grabs my chin between his thumb and his pointer finger and forces me to look into his eyes. "I told you to look at me when I'm talking to you," Levi says as he stares into my dull turquoise eyes.

We stare into each other's eyes' for a while. His eyes flick down to my pale lips as he rubs it with his thumb. He slowly starts to lean in and so do I. Our lips are centimeters apart as we close our eyes, but hear the door slide open, causing Levi to turn to the door, making the gap between our lips bigger.


	5. Chapter 5

**(Third pov)**

Levi turns towards the door and makes the gap between his and Eren's lips bigger. Levi turns to see Mikasa and Jean holding hands as they walk in, Armin coming in not long after. 'It's not as he would actually go with it anyway'. Eren thought. 

The three of them turn their attention to Eren, seeing him leaning onto his desk with his cheeks a bright red. Jean smirks. "Well, what do we have here? Were you just about to kiss the infamous Ackerman?" Jean says as he walks up to Eren. Eren quickly stands and backs away from Jean. "Don't walk away from me, Faggot. Answer my fucking question," Jean says as he grabs Eren's collar and pins him up against the wall.

Levi slowly puts his stands, putting his arm's weight on the desk, ready to save Eren it anything happens.

Eren still gives no answer, causing Jean to punch him. Levi quickly stands as Eren falls to the ground and grabs Jean by the back of his shirt, throwing him across the room. Levi looks down to Eren. "Tch. You Shitty Brat," he mumbles. 

Levi walks up to the now standing Jean and punches him square in the jaw, causing Jean to stumble. "What the hell shorty!? You can't be serious about this kid. No one cares about him." Jean yells at Levi. 

Levi punches him again. "I care for him," Levi says as he walks back to Eren. "Now, it would be best if you, your girlfriend, and this third wheel were to go sit your asses down in your seats," Levi says as he sends them glares that frightens Jean and Armin. Mikasa doesn't move and stares at Eren with guilt. "Oi, I don't know if you noticed, but that involves you," Levi snaps at Mikasa. Mikasa walks over to her seat and Levi puts out a hand that Eren reluctantly takes. Eren mumbles his thanks. 

The class soon starts as Hanji walks into the classroom. "Alright class, how are your projects doing? You should have most of it down by now," Hanji says. The class all look at each other in confusion. 

"But, Hanji, we just got the assignment yesterday," Eren says as he stands from his desk. 

"I know! Totally kidding!" Hanji giggles. They could feel the tension and stress in the classroom release. 

"Thank you, Hanji."

"Now, if you would, please get with your partners," Hanji says as the students start to scatter. 

Levi walks over to Eren and puts down his bag. "Hi, Levi," Eren says to the ravenette. 

Levi smirks. "Hi, Eren."

"I haven't had the chance to ask you questions," Eren says. 

"Shoot," Levi says as he leans back in his chair.

"Hmm, okay. Favorite color?"

"Black."

"What do you dislike?"

"Rainbows, Brussel sprouts, being cliché, unicorns, snow, hail, being dirty, extra people, birds. There's more but it'll take me forever to name them all."

"Damn, okay, uhm, what do you dislike doing most?"

"Making a mess."

"What do you like to do?"

"Clean."

"How's your life at home."

Levi pauses. "good."

"Levi, you can tell me anything," Eren says as he puts a reassuring arm on Levi's shoulder. 

Levi puts his hand on top of Eren's. "I live alone. My mother died of a disease that..." Levi looks around the classroom to see if anyone was looking. "...she got from one of her clients."

“Clients?"

“She was a prostitute."

"So you..."

"Yes. My mother got impregnated by one of her clients, which was my father, and decided to keep me. My uncle, Kenny, tried to convince her otherwise. My mother, though, was as stubborn as a mule. Once her mind was made up, she stayed with that decision. Soon after my mother died, Kenny took me in and raised me for a couple of years and taught me almost everything I know. He left me when I was young and never told me why. I haven't seen him since."

"Holy shit, Levi. I'm so so sorry. You can come live wi-" Eren stops mid-sentence when he remembered his dad.

"Eren? What's wrong?"

"N-Nothing."

"Eren. I told you yesterday, you can tell me anything too. I'm here for you," Levi squeezes Eren's hand. Still holding Eren's hand, Levi brings his hand down and intertwines his fingers with Eren's. 

"O-Oh. Okay. W-Well, when I was a little kid, probably around five or six, my father left me and my mother. 'Tell him what you did. Tell him it was your fault.' My mother soon grew into a deep depression. She self-harmed every night. 'Tell him that you distanced yourself which caused that self-harm.' This went on for a couple of years and then when I was about nine when...she killed herself right in front of me. She pulled the trigger right in front of her nine-year-old son. 'Tell him what she said to you before she did that. Do it. Do it.'"

Levi stares at Eren in shock. "Damn, I'm sorry Eren. I didn't know. If I knew something about it I wouldn't have asked you."

“It's okay. Everyone here knows about it anyways."

"How did they find out about it though?"

"I'm pretty sure Mikasa told them. I mean just put all the pieces together. Jean has been bullying me ever since the beginning of Junior year, last year, and Mikasa never stopped him. She just watched. Also, whenever we got in a fight she would storm out of the house. I would ask Armin if she was at his house but he would say no and freak out because he almost said something wrong. Jean has also been watching Mikasa and Mikasa has been watching him. I just pieced everything together. It was simple," Eren says as he made some weird hand gestures with his free hand. 

"Damn, if you put it that way it really doesn't sound like you have some good friends."

"Had," Eren says as he slams his fist against the table. He mumbles a 'sorry' to the class and hunches over, trying to become smaller.

"Right, right. Had. But hey, I'm here," Levi intertwines their fingers again. 

Eren blushes. "Y-you're my friend?"

"Of course I am."

Eren smiles weakly. _'Liar.'_ Thank you," Eren says, starting to tear up. 

"Hey, Eren. Please don't cry. I don't do well around someone crying."

"S-Sorry," Eren says and wipes his eyes. 

For the rest of the class time, the two of them exchanged questions, occasionally laughing at a joke the other made. Eren thought it was going to be a good day.

***

**(Eren's pov)**

I walk out the classroom with a faint smile on my face but it instantly vanishes when Levi and I part ways. "Oi, Jaeger," I hear Jean say and I turn around. 

"What?" I say sternly. 

"Sorry about your sister by the way. She deserves way better than you."

"Don't you think I know that? But going to you is a big downgrade."

Jean, being taken aback by my comment, quickly comes up to me and punches me in the jaw. I stumble back into the wall as I lean on it for support, "say that to me one more time," Jean says as he points a finger at me, only an inch or two from my face. 

“I said, going to you was a big downgrade. Even someone like me is better than an asshole like you," I say as I turned and walked away. 

"Damn you, Jaeger," I hear Jean mumble under his breath and walk in the opposite direction. 

My second class period was an okay period. Just the usual, people throwing spitballs and throwing paper at me when the teacher wasn't watching, I was still getting ignored by Mikasa and Armin, although it's more of a two-way thing, and people are calling me a fag. Just the usual. But, someone threw a sharpened pencil at me. It pierced my skin but other than that, nothing serious happened and I'm used to it anyway. 

The class period ends and it was time for us to go to lunch. I don't even go to the cafeteria because I don't eat. I go outside where it's calm, quiet, and no one can bother me because no one comes outside. However, today was different. 

I was laying against the big tree by the back of the school. My legs were crossed and my eyes were closed as my chocolate brown hair blows in the wind. _'Maybe this could be the tree where you hang yourself. No one cares. It's your fault why people leave. Levi doesn't really care for you. He's playing you as everyone else has before. You're a monster.'_

I keep my eyes shut and starting holding my breath. My chest started to ache after I held it for a while. My lungs want air but I don't let them. "Oi, Eren," I hear someone say and I mentally roll my eyes knowing who it was. 

“What do you want, Horseface?" I ask with my eyes still closed. I feel Jean grab my shirt collar as he lifts me off the ground and I open my eyes. My dull turquoise eyes staring into Jean's brown eyes. 

"I want revenge."

"Hm? What did I ever do to you?"

Jean's angry face turns into an irritated face. "What you said earlier today, Bastard!" 

"Ooh, Bastard is a new one. I haven't heard that one from you yet."

"What is up with you!? Don't tell me it's because you're now friends with Shorty?" Jean rolls his eyes so hard I thought they were going to roll into the back of his head. 

"Of course it's not. I just realized how low you actually are. I've already won because I haven't stooped down to violence as you have."

I know for a fact that I'm making him angry and that makes me smirk. If he punches me or beats me up I could care less. 

Jean lifts his fist and punches me in the jaw again but was still holding me by my collar. He knees me in the side and I could hear some bones crack. He let go of my collar so I could fall to the ground. 

He continues to kick me in the spot he kneed, making it worse. I was on the ground when grabs my collar again. He punches me in the eye, giving me a black eye. I'm pretty sure a few ribs got broken. 

I didn't fight back or anything, all I did was sit there and take the hits. It wouldn't be any different if I tried to fight back. The way I am now is weak. I wouldn't be able to fight Jean. I'd just get beaten up like I do every day. 

I open my shut eyes and look over to my side to see Levi running towards Jean. When he teaches him, Levi tackles Jean, resulting in them both rolling around on the ground. Levi ends up on top as he punches Jean. Jean struggles to dodge his punches. "Levi! Stop!" I cry out. He didn't stop. I stand. "Levi, I said to stop!" He still relent stop. I walk over to Levi and try to pry him off of Jean. "Levi! Listen to me, I said to stop!!" Levi turns his head towards me and instantly stops when he sees the fear in my eyes. 

When Levi was distracted, Jean pushes him off of him and stands with a blood-drenched face. "You're both going to regret this," He says before walking away. 

Levi watches Jean walk away and then turns and runs over to me. "Eren, are you okay??" He asks me, checking all the bruises on my face.

"Yes, Levi, I'm okay," I tell him as I gently grab his hands that are on my face and take them off. 

"How're your ribs?" He says, pulling up my shirt. 

I quickly pull my shirt back down. "They're fine," I say as I blush. 

"Eren..." Levi starts. 

“I know what you're going to say, Levi, I'm not going to start eating."

"Eren, you're unhealthy. You need to eat, please. For me."

"Only for you, Levi. _'Liar.'_ "

"How about this, we skip the last two periods and I take you out to get a milkshake."

I weakly smile. "I'd love that."

Levi intertwines his fingers into mine as we start to walk. We end up going to an outdoor ice cream and milkshake place. We buy a cookie dough milkshake for the two of us to share. Levi, still grabbing my hand, takes me to a convenient park bench nearby.

“Hey, Eren," Levi says as he turns to look me in the eyes.

"Yes?" I ask, stating back. 

“You can talk to me about anything. I'm here for you and I always will," Levi puts his hand on my thigh. "Eren, we've only known each other for a couple days...but we've been getting closer and I just want to be here for you. I see you give me these fake smiles every day. If you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here for you. When I helped you up the second day I knew you, I felt a spark between us but I didn't know if you felt it so I didn't ask."

“Levi...I don't know what to say. Thank you. I'm here for you too and I'm glad I finally have someone here for me. Levi, I felt it too. I didn't ask you for the same reason." I say, starting to tear up. 

"What I'm basically trying to say is, I think I like you, Eren." 

_'He's lying to you. He doesn't care. You're a piece of shit. Don't listen to him. I'm your only friend here.'_ "Levi... _'you're going to regret it. Don't say it.'_ I think I like you, too," Levi puts his hand that was once on my thigh up to my face.

He caresses my cheek with his thumb as he stares into my dull turquoise eyes. Before I know it, Levi's lips were upon mine. The milkshake falls out of his hand to use his other hand to hold the other side of my face. Our lips were moving in unison as I shake. "Eren?" He asked as he pulls away. "Are you okay?" 

I pull him onto my lips once more telling him and probably me, too, that I was okay. My hand is on the back of his neck and one hand is on the bench, keeping me balanced.

He licks my bottom lip asking to be let in and I let him. Our tongues fight for dominance in my mouth and Levi, of course, wins. Levi pins me against the bench, still kissing me. He pulls away and puts his forehead on mine. "I'm here if you need to talk. Your self-harm, your eating disorder, your depression, your suicidal thoughts, I'm here. I'm never leaving you," Levi tells me. 

"Thank you, Levi."


	6. Chapter 6

**(Eren’s pov)**

I walk home alone, afraid of what Levi would do to my dad. I also haven't told Levi about my dad, so, if he found out I've been lying to him, he might never trust me again.

_'He's playing with you, don't you see? How can someone like him, like someone like you? You're worthless. You're a disgrace to Levi and the human race. Who would ever like a piece of shit faggot like you? You're unlikeable. Take my advice. End it all before it's too late.'_ The voice says. I ignore it, well, try to. _'You know I'm right. Admit it. I know you want to.'_ It speaks again but I ignore it again. 

The rest of the walk home consists of the voice telling me to kill myself and that Levi doesn't care. Yes, I consider believing it for a while and really want to end it all, but then it just keeps say things so it gets annoying. 

I finally reach my house and prepare for the worst since I'm already late. I open the door and was immediately hit with the smell of cigarettes and alcohol. "Hey. Eren," I hear my dad say from the kitchen. "Come say your welcomes' to the guests," he finishes as I walk into the kitchen. There are two other men. They're both pretty tall; taller than my dad, and he was considerably tall. "You have to treat these men to whatever they want."

I already know exactly how this night is going to end. "Yes sir," I tell my dad. 

"Oh. Eren, come here," my father says as I slowly walk to him. Once I reach him, he knees me in the gut, causing me to grunt and fall down to my knees. I hug my stomach with my arms, trying to catch my breath. Before I can stand, my dad kicks me in the side of my ribs, where Jean had kicked earlier. I fall to my side, shaking. "that's for being late. Now, go get cleaned up."

I stand up and slowly make my way up the stairs and into my room. I grab a new pair of clothes and walk into the bathroom. I turn on the bathtub as I take off my shirt and stare at myself in the mirror. _'You're too fat. You need to eat less.'_ the voice says. 

I ignore it and turn so my side was showing in the mirror. I look at my ribs to see that it is already a dark shade of a blueish-purple. I press on it with my fingers and hum as I wince in pain. 

I put my fingers on it with a little more pressure, causing me to squint my eyes as my fingers went deeper into the bruise. I apply more pressure until I feel my rib. My eyes start to tear up as I move my fingers around to feel more of my rib. 

I sill apply more pressure but then stop when I yell in pain, pulling my hand away from the bruise. _'Felt nice, didn't it? You're craving it, aren't you. Do it. You want to do it. I know you want to do it. Slit your wrists. Slit your thighs. Do anything to cause you pain. Anything to make you bleed.'_

I stupidly listen to the voice as I rummage around my drawers and cabinets, trying to find a razor or a blade, just anything sharp enough to pierce my skin. I eventually find one as I clean it in the bathroom sink. (It was covered in dry blood from the last time I used it.) I set the razor onto the bathtub rim as I climb into the bathtub after taking off my remaining clothing. 

I grab the razor off of the bathtub rim and press it softly against my skin. I apply pressure to the front end of the blade, making the it press harder against my skin. I smile in satisfaction, which was caused by the feeling of the razor piercing my skin. I slowly slide it across my skin by the corner of the razor. It was deep...really deep. Luckily, it wasn't deep enough to cut a vein. 

The blood droplets fall into the water, turning the clear to a light shade of pink. It's not enough. I crave more. I need more. I cut again, not as deep the last cut, but still deep. 

This time, I watch the blood slide down my wrist and land into the water. The way they separate and swirl around once it hits the water...was oddly satisfying to me. Every droplet separates differently. Kind of like a snowflake...just barely. I did four more cuts, all less deep than the last, as the water is now a middle-tone of red. 

I stand up as my vision blurs and I lose balance, "shit," I mumble. I set the razor on the counter as I put on my clean clothes and dry my brown hair. I clean the razor and put it back where I got it from. I put my clothes in my hamper and wrap my cuts in the bandage. I wince in pain as it touches my cuts. 

I hurry down the stairs to see my dad and the two other men sitting on the couch watching TV. However, there is about three times the amount of beer bottles than before, and about twice the amount of cigarettes than before, "Took you long enough," my dad growls, still looking at the TV. 

"Sorry, sir," I say as I sit in the chair diagonal from them. 

"Oi, kid, get us another beer," one of the men says. He is slimmer than the other man, but was still muscularly built. He has short, black, coarse-looking hair that reaches down to his neck. He also has a thin beard that went along his jawline. He looks to be about middle-aged with wrinkles around his small and piercing eyes. He reminded me of someone but I just can't put my finger on it. 

"Yes, sir," I say as I stand up from the chair and into the kitchen. I grab three beers from the fridge, one in one hand, and two in the other, and walk back into the living room. "Those were the last ones, Father," I say after I put them down. 

“Then go get some," my dad says. 

"But I can't, Sir. I'm not old enough and I don't have an ID."

"Tch, you're right. We'll be back. One come with me, one stay."

"I'll stay," the final man says. This other man was definitely the tallest one. He was 6'4 and had short brown hair. He was the youngest one, though he was still middle-aged, and he is obviously the better looking one. I would be lying if I said I don't think he is attractive. He is also muscularly built, but has bigger, green eyes. 

"Alright then, Kenny will come with me, and Jesse will stay here," My dad said. 

My eyes widen. "Wait," I say. 

"Yes?" My father says impatiently as he turns around. 

"Do you have...a nephew named, Levi?" I ask Kenny. That's who he reminded me of. 

"I do. Do you know him?"

"I do. He's in my science class. He told me about you earlier today when he told me about his family. Why'd you leave him?"

"There were certain reasons. I only took him in because I just couldn't leave a child on the streets. I taught him some things and he lived with me for a while, but then I left when I felt he was ready to be out on his own. It's really nothing a brat like you needs to know," He turns to leave with my dad. "Oh, and don't tell him back or there will be consequences," He says without turning back. 

"Yes, Sir."

The door shuts and I turn around and walk up the stairs. "Where do you think you're going kid?" The said Jesse says to me as I'm on the stair way. 

"My room? Where else would I go?"

“I don't know. But you stay here. Your father did say you can get treat me any way I wanted," He says with a smirk.

Alright, here it comes. Not surprised. "Sorry, I don't think he means it that way. Only he gets to do that. Don't be like that. I'm tired, let me sleep," I say. Somehow, he ends up behind me and grabs my ass. "Excuse me!? What the hell!?" I say as I push his hand out of the way and push him away from me. This is not what I expected. 

He says nothing but come up behind me once again, and grabs my ass again. He uses his free hand to cover my mouth and he puts his chin on my shoulder. "You wouldn't want your father to get mad at you, do you?" He says as he moves his hand from my ass to my dick and cupped it. Still not what I expected. 

I slowly shake my head as he starts to kiss my neck softly, but then ends up rough against my neck. Definitely not what I expected at all. 

I finally push him off me as I run to my room and shut the door. "You little shit!" He yells as he runs up the stairs. I turn and realize that I forgot to lock the door. I quickly get up to lock it when the door swings open and Jesse pushes me onto my bed. "I'll have to punish you quickly before your father gets back. Not like he would care anyways," He says as he starts to unbuckle his pants with one hand and mine with the other. 

I’m too exhausted to fight back so I let it all happen. _'You're weak. See, I told you...you're worthless. People just play with you.'_ He takes off the rest of his underclothing, and then mine. 

He plays with me as he forces himself in my mouth. I start to cry, but I know if I fight back, he would get me in trouble with my dad somehow. Not like he would care anyways. I start to suck so he didn't hurt me as he moves his hips back and forth to meet my rhythm. 

After a couple minutes, I'm still crying as he slides himself out of my mouth. He turned me over so my ass is in the air and he slides himself inside me. I whimper as he does so. As he was moving his hips back and forth, he starts to gradually pick up pace and aggression as he grunts at every thrust. He starts to play with me a little while after. 

I'm still crying when about 15 minutes later, he pulls out. "My, what a good boy. Maybe we can do this again next time I come here," He says deviously as he puts on his lower body clothing and walks out of my room. 

I sit on my bed, half naked as I start to cry harder. This...wasn't what I expected it to end like. I expected to be getting abused non-stop. I was ready to be physically scarred...but instead...I get emotionally scarred. I wanted to tell him to stop. I wanted to push him off me. But I'm weak. I'm worthless. I was exhausted. I was afraid. I'm not going to be the same person after this. Levi, I miss you. I need you right now.

**(Levi's pov)**

I sit in my room on my bed texting Petra when I feel a bad feeling in my stomach. I follow my guts and I run out of my room and out of my house. I end up in front of his house and run into the house. 

I open the door and am hit with the smell of alcohol and cigarettes. "Shit," I mutter. I walk into the house and see beer bottles and cigarettes everywhere. I turn to see a male with brown hair and green eyes sitting on the couch. "Excuse me, who are you?" he asks me. 

“The names Levi," I say as he looks at me wide eyed. 

"Y-You're Kenny's kid."

"I am, now if you'll excuse me."

"Go ahead. I don't wanna start anything with you. Who knows what Kenny have taught you."

"Thank you," I say as I run up the stairs. I quickly go down the hallway and into Eren's room. I see him and my eyes widened. He's half naked with his pants and underwear on the floor. He's curled up in a little ball whimpering and shaking crazily as he did so.

He turns his head to me and I see that his dull, turquoise eyes, are even more dull than before. His eyes are bloodshot and his cheeks are tear stained, "L-Levi..." He mutters as he starts to cry harder. 

"Yes, Eren. I'm here. I'm here, don't worry. I'm here now," I say as I run to the bed. I try not to look as I comfort him. "tell me, what happened?" I ask. Eren's dull eyes widen as his cry turns into a sob. "Hey hey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it. I'm here for you and I'm here to stay," I say as I cradle him in my arms.

I move my body to get more comfortable when I accidentally press on Eren's wrist as he hisses in pain. "Eren..." I start. 

His eyes are wide once again. "It hurt because it was a surprise," he says as he blushed nervously. 

"Eren, don't lie to me, I told you, I'm here. Give me your wrist," I say as Eren reluctantly pulls up his sleeve. I undo the bandage as it falls. There are six fresh cuts, and one burn that looked to be about a day or two old. 

“Levi...I'm so sorry," Eren says as I shush him.

"It's okay, Eren. I'm not mad. I'm not mad. It's okay. Is there anything else I should be worried about?"

"Nothing that I did myself-" Eren freezes as he says that sentence. 

"What do you mean by that, Eren?" I ask as I stand up. Eren stands up too and I still tried not to look. Eren pulls up his shirt to show a massive dark blueish-purple bruise on the side of his rib cage, "Who did this!?" I ask in anger. 

“J-Jean," Eren says, obviously only halfway telling the truth. 

“You're not telling me the whole truth, Eren. You can trust me."

"......M-My father," He says after a long moment of silence. 


	7. Chapter 7

**(Third pov)**

Eren awakes next to Levi in his bed. He looks down and realized he doesn't have any under clothing on. He blushes and heat flushed to his cheeks. He swiftly moves from Levi's grasp and puts on some underwear. "I've never worn these before. Guess I'm wearing them today. They're my only clean ones, so here goes nothing," Eren mumbles as he puts on some black ripped skinny jeans. Thoughts of last night run through his head as his eyes widen and tear up. 

He takes off his shirt and searches through his closet only once again, finding something that he bought a while ago, but never worn. The rest of his shirts are dirty because they don’t have any laundry detergent and his father only buys drugs and alcohol with the money he earns. Plus paying taxes so they don't get kicked out of the house. 

He puts on the tight, black, long sleeve button up shirt. As he was buttoning up his shirt, he hears rustling from his bed, assuming it's Levi. "Hi, Sleepyhead," Eren says as he turns his head to face Levi, still buttoning up his shirt. 

"Morning," Levi mumbles and lifts his head up. Eren was still looking at Levi, waiting for Levi to look at him. _"Holy shit, he's hot,"_ Levi thinks to himself. Eren gives Levi a tiny, tired smile and squints his dull, lifeless eyes. _"Oh my god, he's adorable,"_ Levi thinks again. 

Eren stops smiling and his eyes go back to normal. The bags under his eyes are noticeable and the emotionless face he had on, made it seem like the smile was fake, which it partially was. 

Levi stand up from the bed and groggily walks his way over to Eren, hugging him from behind, stuffing his face in Eren's back. "Eren, you look like a mess."

"Well thank you. I love you too," Eren says sarcastically as he rolls his eyes. He feels Levi tense. "W-wait no! N-not like th-that! I was just kidding around," Levi chuckles as Eren's cheeks are a burning red. 

"Here," Levi says as he drags Eren into the bathroom. "look at you."

Eren rolls his eyes, "Don't you think I already know how much of a mess I am right now?"

"Of course I know. Do you have any makeup?"

“Why would I have makeup? Why do you need it?"

"I'm giving you a makeover."

"Tsk, fine. My mother used to wear makeup," Eren walks off to his mothers bathroom. 

A couple minutes later, Eren comes back with a bag of makeup. "We need to hurry fast, we have to be at school soon," Eren says as Levi runs his hand through Eren's hair. 

"Tch."

"That's what you get for sleeping in late."

Levi rolls his eyes as he applies some foundation to Eren's pale face. "It's lucky that you and your mom have the same skin tone."

"Yeah, we looked a lot alike. People always thought she was my older sister when we were in public."

"Huh, interesting," There's a long pause of silence. Levi looks Eren in the eyes. "I wish I would've been able to meet your mom."

Eren blushes at Levi's words and slightly averts his eyes. "Yeah, me too."

A couple minutes pass by. "Alright, your makeup is finished."

**(Eren's pov)**

I look in the mirror in front of me. I look so young. I actually look my age. I finally look alive. I start to laugh. Levi looks at me and moves in to hug me. He couldn't tell if I was genuinely laughing, or I was laughing the pain away. Maybe it's a little bit of both. 

He pulls me into an embrace and soon pulls away, "Wait, one more thing. Do you have hair gel?"

"Uh, yeah," I say as I rummage through my cabinets. Luckily there are no razors visible that Levi could find. I get my hair gel and hand it to him. 

“Look in the mirror," he demands and puts some hair gel in his hands, "brush your hair."

I did as told and he puts the hair gel in my hair, standing behind me. When he finishes, he washes his hands. My chocolate brown hair is slicked back with a few strands dangling in front of my forehead. My eyes widen, "Levi, you turned me into a whole other person!" I squeal to Levi. 

"You're such a child," He rolls his eyes. He paused, looking at my arms, "tch,"

"What?"

“Nothing," he said as he grabbed my arm and rolled up the sleeve up to my forearm. He did the same to the other. 

"But what about-"

"Everyone knows, don't they? Plus you have the bandages. Just use those."

"Fine," I say as I put bandages on my arms to cover the cuts. 

We walk out my door, ignoring my dad and his wasted friends, except Kenny, in the living room. 

***

Levi and I finally end up at school after going back to Levi's house so he can change. Luckily, we weren't in the slightest, late. Today feels different. Some girls are looking at me and even giving me second glances. I am so confused. Was it because of my looks?

I feel appreciated for once. That was until Jean showed up. Jean shoves me in the back walking past him. "Sorry faggot! Oh, and just because you dress all fancy and make yourself look your age, doesn't mean everyone will respect you," He says as he walks away. 

Unfortunately, he's right. No one is going to appreciate me just because I look differently. Everyone still hates me, everyone is just so low that they rely on their looks. 

Throughout the day, I get a few comments, hate and non-hate comments. It's like a normal day here. At the very end of the day, Levi, Petra, and I gather at a lunch table, "I have to get home, I'll catch up with you later, Levi?" 

"Yeah. Oh wait, Brat, hold on a second."

"Yes?"

"Give me your phone."

"O...kay?" I hand him my phone that Levi got me so I can contact him if necessary. 

He types something in it and hands it back to me, "here you go. Call me any time."

"I will." I reply as I walk the other direction, waving goodbye to the two. 


	8. Chapter 8

**(Eren's pov)**

I walk into the bathroom once I get home. I strip myself of my clothing and stand in front of the mirror. I close my eyes and sigh softly before looking into it. I frown. 

Who is this? 

The bags under my eyes are gone and I have color back into my face. My hair is nicely slicked back and not a huge mess. I turn on the water and run a towel under it. I put it to my face and wipe half of the makeup, revealing a major difference. 

Half my face was sickly pale compared to my natural tan skin tone and what it would look like if I actually took care of myself. My bags were heavy and dark. It looks like I shouldn't I shouldn't even be alive. I actually look like a walking corpse. _'Kill it. Kill it.'_

I ignore it and wipe the rest of my face and stare at myself. This other me looks heartbroken and sad. My sight becomes blurry and once it cleared, I see the 9 year old me. The day my mom killed her self. He's crying. He looks stupid for crying. I want him to stop. He looks so sad and hurt. My heart breaks, looking at my poor little self. A couple days after that, was when this voice started haunting me. Was it because of my mother? Probably. I wish people cared for me the way I care for my younger self. 

_'Too bad no one was there for you. It's the same as now. No one is here for you now.'_

"Shut up."

_'You're pathetic. Pitying yourself, it's making me feel bad for you.'_

I ignore it and stop staring in the mirror. I turn the bath water to warm and sit in the tub. I bring my knees to my chest so my feet can feel the warm water as it falls. It warms up my skin and I close my eyes. 

The water fills my emptiness. Unfortunately, the hole was not full. I want that hole of emptiness to be filled. I need it to be filled. There's this part of my soul missing and I don't know what it is. I hate that empty hole in my soul. I hate being alive. I've trying to kill myself but that voice stopped me. Why? I don't- _'What's doesn't kill you...makes you wish you were dead.'_

My eyes widen. “I should've turned on my music.“

_'Well, I'm your music now.'_

The bathtub fills and I close my eyes. I sigh, the warmth consuming my body, "Mmm..." I let out a partially satisfied sigh. I wasn't empty, but nor was I full. 

Maybe...

***

I walk out of the bath, my ass sore from staying in too long. I dry off and slip on the same clothes I had on earlier. I decide to take a long nap. 

**~Many hours later~**

When I wake up, it was from a pretty boring dream. I just stood in a black void as the voice talked to me. Couldn't they have put something unoriginal like putting me in a movie, or even in a cartoon? My dreams are boring.

I groan. and grab my phone, remembering that Levi had put his number in my phone earlier. 

I dial the number and put it to my ear, yawning. 

He takes a moment to answer. 

_One ring.  
_

_Two rings..  
_

_Three rings...  
_

_Four rings....  
_

_Five rings.....  
_

“What? Who is this!?" He yells through the phone. I hesitate. I panic. I freeze. "Who is this?!" He asks again, sounding really pissed off and annoyed. "E- Levi?~" I hang up. Was that...? It was. They could've just been hanging out. Yeah, that's all they were doing. A...a sleepover. 

My heart is pounding out of my heat. My breathing is erratic. I put my hand against my heart and closed my eyes, letting out a sigh. 

"Shit," I mutter before checking the time on my phone. 3:30 a.m.!? No wonder why he was so pissed. 

My phone lights up and the tone starts going off. It's the same number. Fuck. 

I answer hesitantly. "H-hello?"

“Look here, Dickwad, who are you? I don't give my number to anyone, so who the fuck are you!?"

I stay quiet. 

“Oi, answer me!"

"S-sorry, I'll just-"

"-Eren?"

"Y-yeah."

He's silent, "why are you calling me this late, Brat?" He says, less irritated. That's a good sign...I think. 

“S-sorry. I-I didn't mean to."

"You didn't mean to call me?"

“Not this late. I just woke up so..."

There's silence. 

“Levi?~ What are you doing still up? Come back to bed.~" 

I feel my heart break. It shattered into a million pieces right then and there. I swear I could hear it. I should've known. Goddamnit!

"S-sorry Levi. I-it seems as though y-you're busy. I-I'll l-let you and P-Petra be," I sit and play with my bed sheets. 

"Oi, Eren wait-" I hang up. 

I sit in the dark, crying. I hold my stomach as it twists in pain. It feels like everything inside my body is being squished. My heartbeat is erratic. I can barely breath. I feel my heart break into a million pieces. Everything hurts. _'Told you he would never like you.'_

"But we slept in the same bed yesterday."

_‘To comfort you. Now, you know how we deal with this stuff.'_

"Yeah. I know," I stand up off my bed, wiping my tears.


	9. Chapter 9

**(Eren’s pov)**

I walk into the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror for what seemed like 20 minutes. No wonder why Levi doesn't like me. I really don't have any good looks. I'm fat, my hair is matted, my eyes are dull, and the bags under my eyes are heavy. On top of that, I have a shit personality.

I grab the razor after finding it in the drawer. I put my arm over the sink and run the water. I press the razor lightly against my skin. _'What are you waiting for?'_

"I don't know."

_‘Do it.'_

"I can't."

_'Why not?'_

I think about it before answering. "Levi cares for me."

_‘No he doesn't.'_

“Yes, he does."

_'No, he doesn't.'_

"Shut up."

I put the razor down after hearing a loud knock on the front door. I groggily walk my way down the stairs and to the front door. I open it, seeing Levi with Petra standing behind him, "What are you doing here?" I ask coldly. 

"I'm taking you out," Levi replies.

"You can be with Petra tonight, that's okay. You guys can continue whatever you guys were doing."

"Eren, we were just hanging out.

"At 3:30 in the morning!? You guys were sleeping together!" 

"Eren-"

"No, Levi, stop. I needed you. I called you for a reason, yet you're just sleeping with Petra two days after you told me you had feelings for me! And to think I had actually believed you for a moment."

"Eren, it wasn't like that," Petra says. 

“I don't want to hear from you!" I snap. "it's obvious the way you feel about him. I wouldn't be surprised if he felt the same way."

"And it's obvious the way I feel about you," Levi says as he pulls me into an embrace. I felt protected in Levi's arms. It felt so good. It felt so right, "Now, I'm taking you out on an adventure today and you're going to get to know Petra."

I looks over to Petra and she smiles a small smile. 

I think about it. "Fine."

Levi smirks and grabs my hand. He tries to intertwine our fingers but I pull away. He looks at me with a worried look. I shrug it off and we keep walking.

**(Third pov)**

The three teens reach the park where Levi and Eren had confessed. Levi mentally smirks, but Eren stops walking. Levi stops, putting a hand on Eren's arm as Eren pulls away. "Eren?" 

“Why'd you bring me here?" He asks Levi angrily. 

"I...this is where we confessed."

"Yes it is. What about it? Why did you bring me here?" Eren demands an answer. 

"What is up with you today!?"

"Me!?"

"Yes, you! You've been acting weird ever since last...night...What happened last night!?"

Eren goes wide eyed and starts shaking. His breathing gets heavy and his heart starts pounding, "N-nothing," Eren says after long silence. 

"That's bullshit! Tell me what happened, Eren."

“I can't. Not with her around."

Levi looks at Petra with a pleading look. She smiles and nods her head once, turning around and waking to the bench. "Spill," Levi demands. 

Eren breaks into tiny sobs as he shakes, "I-I...I w-was...."

“Eren, you? You were what?"

“I-I....w-was... r-r-ra...ped...." Eren finally manages to get out. 

Levi sits there wide eyed, unable to speak. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do. "By who?" he manages to ask. 

Eren's silent. 

"Eren."

"J-Jesse."

Levi wears a confused look. "who's that?"

"He-He's's one of my d-dads friends that w-were over that n-night."

Levi's eyes widened when he remembers the guy that was sat on the couch when he arrived, "that bastard," Levi mutters and turns to storm off. 

However, Eren grabs Levi's wrist, causing him to stop, "Levi, stop. We don't know where he is. We don't know where he lives. We can't link him to anything."

"You're right," Levi sighs, grabbing Eren's hand and playing with it. Eren let it happens. "You still need to tell me about your dad," Levi dad as he slips his hand up the side of Eren's shirt and lightly rubs the bruise. 

Eren slightly winces, "It's okay. You don't need to know about it."

"Eren, I do. You've always needed to talk to someone, right?" Levi asks before Eren nodding his head. "Then talk to me. I'm here."

It's silent. "My dad...came back a couple days ago, as you already know. He left me and my mother, as I've already told you that, too. But...there's this thing I haven't told you about him," Eren paused , letting out a heavy sigh. He was finally going to tell someone about it, "Even before my mother died, he became a drug addict. But when news got to him about my mother, it got even worse. He drank alcohol until he passed out. He did drugs as much as he could. I didn't know that until he took me under his custody. This caused him to be angry all the time which he took out on me. He started abusing me, blaming me for my mother's death. If you think about it, I deserve it. I killed my mother."

"You told me your mother committed suicide."

"She did."

“Then how-"

“I drove my father away. And, my mother's last words to me, were, "This is your fault. You're worthless. Suffer.' Th-then sh-she pulled the trigger. These words have haunted me for eight years. I think about them everyday and I can't get them out of my head," Eren finally finishes on the verge of tears. 

"Eren," Levi starts, pulling Eren into a hug, "you don't deserve this. You didn't kill your mother. It wasn't your fault. Please don't think that. You are worth something. Just because you aren't to someone else, doesn't mean you're worthless to me."

"Levi..." 

Levi pulls away from Eren and pulled his collar so their lips met, "I like you, Eren. Not Petra. You. You, and only you," Levi says as he pokes his chest. 

Eren chuckles, kissing the top Levi's head, "Thank you. I know that now," and with that, Eren and Levi intertwine their fingers and go back to Petra.


	10. Chapter 10

**(Eren's pov)**

Levi and I start to walk to Petra, our fingers intertwined, perfectly locking together like they are meant to be this way. Like like our hands were made for each other. It fells so right. It feels so natural; however, when we reach Petra, she's asleep so one of us has to carry her. 

We look at each other and shrug. Levi and I discuss it, deciding that taking her to Levi's house is the better option. He's also forcing me to come because he didn't want me to go back home to my abusive father. 

I mean, I'm complaining. Me? At Levi's house? It was like a good dream come true. I am fairly excited, although I'm wearing the same clothes as earlier. "Tch, couldn't you have changed into a new pair of clothes first?" Levi pampers, holding Petra bridal style. 

I roll my eyes, "This was all I had. We don't have laundry detergent because my dad doesn't buy it...or anything we need for that matter."

"Fine, we'll go shopping."

"Right now?? It's 4:30!"

"So? After we put Petra in my bed and I get all washed up, it'll be probably 5:30-6:00 and some stores may be open that early," He looks me up and down. "And maybe you can get a clean up."

“And if they're not? And I already took a bath!" I yell but quickly shut up, knowing that guys my age don't normally take baths. 

“Then we rest at my place," he smirks, "That doesn't mean you can't take another one...with me."

"Oh...I guess that would be the reasonable option," I say before blushing intensely on what he meant, but, I ignore it.

He chuckles and rolls his eyes, "Yeah," there is a long pause of silence, "Hey, Eren?"

“Yeah?"

“You're really dumb sometimes."

"Hey!" I chuckle, playfully shoving Levi. 

“Woah, I'm holding Sleeping Beauty here," I raise an eyebrow at him, "I never said she was my Sleeping Beauty. Lighten up a little, will ya?" He chuckles. 

"Right, sorry," I chuckle before smiling. Knowing that I can be myself around Levi, and he can be himself around me...makes me happy. I love this feeling. I love being around Levi. I just love being in his presence. 

I open my mouth to say something, but then close it again, like a fish, hoping Levi wouldn't notice. 

"What's up?" 

I mentally sigh. "O-Oh, nothing."

"Eren," He demands. 

I sigh. "I was just going to let you know how special you are to me, how much I care for you. You just mean so much to me and I don't know what I would do without you."

He smirks. "Thank you, Brat," Levi says with a smirk. 

***

**(Levi's pov)**

We reach my house and I notice some of the lights are on inside. "what the fuck?" I mutter, heading to my front door. 

I hear Eren call out my name but I ignore it. I go to my door turn the handle. It's unlocked, but I remember locking it, so the person here, knows where the key is. Only one person know that, but it couldn't be them. It can't be them. They left me years ago. 

I run into the house and look in the living room, no one here. I then run into the kitchen, no one. I go to the next room and don't see anyone. "Levi, come on, what's up?" Eren says. 

"There's someone here," I reply. 

"Who?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out. Just go put Petra in my room, it's up the stairs and the first door to the left."

"Okay."

I run up the stairs and look into the guest room, and there they are. Sitting on the bed drinking a soda and reading a book. "What are you doing here!?" I snap. 

"I happened to be driving by so I stopped by, and...I want you back."

"But I don't want you here. You left me without a reason. I've been stuck in this house alone. What makes you think I'll just take you back!"

"Why?" They say angrily, putting a knife against my throat. "Because we go way back, that's why. Who else is here? I heard someone else."

I roll my eyes. "Just a couple friends."

"Let me meet them."

"Tch, fine."

I walk over to my room to see Eren lying in bed next to Petra, but keeping a fair distance. I smirk as I knock on the door. "Yes, Levi?"

“There's someone who wants to meet you."

“Ugh, fine. Let me get up," Eren says. As he gets up, I notice that his collared shirt is unbuttoned a couple of buttons. 

"Damn, Loverboy, you look hot in black," I tease, looking him up and down. 

He rolls his eyes. "Thanks, Shorty," he chuckles. 

“Don't call me that," I say as I take my hand in his. He hesitates to link his fingers in with mine.

We reach the guest room and Eren stops. "Who is this?"

"This is Jade Howell. My...ex-girlfriend," I say hesitantly. 


	11. Chapter 11

**(Third pov)**

Jade is sitting on the bed, fiddling with a knife when the two teen boys walk in. She has silky middle length raven hair that is slightly curled. She has flawless tan skin, making her bright blue eyes stand out more. She has a small nose that is perfect for her face type, and is only a bit shorter Levi, probably about 5'2. Her lips are full and covered in a light magenta lipgloss. Her eyelashes are long and curled with a couple layers of mascara. She finishes her makeup off with highlighter and blush. 

She is wearing a black leather jacket and black ripped up skinny jeans which compliments her curves, with tight, black, fingerless gloves. She bad leather, black, heeled, ankle boots that fit tightly around her ankles. 

Eren thinks she looks totally badass.

Eren puts out his hand for her to shake. She reluctantly takes it. "And you are?" She asks Eren, lifting up an eyebrow and moving her eyes up and down, studying him. 

"Eren, Eren Jaeger," Eren replies shyly. 

**(Eren's pov)**

She lets go of my hand and walks over to Levi. She grabs his collar and forces her lips upon his. Levi doesn't retaliate, but nor does he kiss her back. All I did is stand there and watch. I can't do anything, I froze. I feel like I'm going to pass out so I take a seat on the bed that was to my left. 

She pulls away from him. "Aw, Levi, Babe. Did you not miss my kisses? You used to long for them and now you don't want them?" She says, putting her bottom lip out in a pout. 

He rolls his eyes, "I'm not your 'Babe'."

She smirks. "It doesn't mean you don't want to be."

He rolls his eyes again. "I don't."

"Levi, stop being hard to get."

"I'm not. You're just being annoying."

“Oh come on Big Boy,~" She smirks. 

"Don't use that name."

“Aw, but you always loved it when I used it in bed.~" She says, trying to be sexy by pulling his collar so their faces get closer together. "and you were so good in bed. You made me scream out your name in pleasure, and you know that's hard to do," she says softly, full with lust, causing Levi to blush. Hell, It's making me blush. 

Levi grabs Jade's chin between his thumb and forefinger. "That was when I loved you, and frankly, I don't anymore," he says in a teasing tone. 

"Tch, I know you do. You know, I'm still good in bed. We could try it out right here, right now," She says in a dark tone, once again pulling their faces closer together. Levi averts his eyes away from her and looks at me. She must've noticed, because she turns her head to where he's looking, "Don't tell me you're with this guy now. Last time I checked, you weren't even gay, let alone bisexual. But out of all people, this depressing guy? I've already figured him all out. 

"His mother died somehow, probably from suicide, and he probably blames it on himself. I can tell that he doesn't sleep much, given the bags under his eyes, but that's just common sense. But he probably hasn't slept because he thinks about his mother's death. Anyways, his dad left him when he as young. While he was away, he found out about his wife's death and got hooked on drugs and alcohol. I'm guessing he's come back. And according to that bruise on your cheek, he's abusive. That's obviously a slap mark. Oh and also, you're getting bullied at school ever since your so called 'Best Friend' started to hate you."

I'm in awe. She got everything right. "Jade, shut up, that's enough. Stop being a jealous little shit. I'm not taking you back. I never will. You left me and I was miserable. What did you do? Nothing. You didn't do shit. You don't understand how much I hate you. I want you to leave."

"Oh Sweetie, you know I don't let go that quickly. You know how stubborn I get. I'm not leaving until I get what I want. You know I'm not going to take no as answer. I'm going to get what I want, even if it's not with you," She smirks. 

She makes her way over to me as I sit on the bed. I'm looking down at the floor and I see her feet come into view. She grabs my chin before forcing me to look upwards at her. She leans down and softly presses her lips upon mine. My eyes are shut tightly. I'm shaking. "Hey, calm down," She whispers in my ear, causing shivers to shoot down my spine. She bad a hand on my thigh and one hand on the back of my head, running her fingers through my brown hair. 

She pushes me down so I'm laying on the bed. She sits on my chest as I lay on the bed. She moves down to my neck, kissing it slowly. Why aren't I stopping it? Why isn't Levi stopping this? I hear footsteps angrily leave the room. Did he leave? 

The kisses on my neck become rougher. She's moving further down my neck. She reaches my collar bone, and then my chest. My eyes are still closed. I'm still shaking, until I feel her weight gradually fall off me. 

**(Levi's pov) (Sorry for all the pov changes btw😙)**

My stone-cold expression turns into anger as I watch Jade torture Eren. She softly presses her lips against Eren's as he tightly shuts his eyes. It's noticeable how much he was shaking, I mean, I wouldn't blame him. He got raped. He must be terrified. 

She pulls away from Eren's lips and whispers something in his ear, causing him to tense. She has one hand on his thigh, and one hand tangled up in his messy brown hair. She moves down to his neck and slowly starts to suck on it. 

I angrily walk out of the room as I go to grab something that I need. I don't want to see Eren like this anymore. 

I go into my room and search through my stuff quietly, not wanting to wake up Petra. I find what I need and grab it. 

I'm going to have to overreact a little. If I want her to stop doing what she was doing and for her to leave, I have to take drastic measures. Even if it leaves her frightened. Even if it makes her think I'm crazy. If she leaves forever, it'll be the best. I just want to drive her away from me and Eren so we can be happy...without the drama she would be bringing. 

I walk back into the room as she has Eren under her, laying down on the bed. He's still shaking. His eyes are still closed tight. I put the gun in my hand to her head as she slowly gets off him and stands up, putting her arms up in a surrender.


	12. Chapter 12

**(Levi's pov)**

I have the gun against Jade's head and Eren slowly opens his eyes. They widen as he shoots himself up. I can tell Eren is unable to say anything as he sits on the bed, confused. Honestly, I'm not surprised he's confused, he was basically getting seduced by a really good looking girl, and now the guy he likes is pointing a gun to her head.

"Levi, what are you doing?" Jade asks, finally getting the courage to speak. 

I sigh. "I had to get you off of Eren. You have no right to treat him like that."

“He didn't tell me no."

"He shouldn't have to. What you did, wasn't a good thing. It was disgusting. I know you, this wasn't like you. You're not this type of person."

She looks down to the ground. "I'm sorry, Levi. I just...wanted to see you again. I wanted to talk to you. Seeing you here again...makes me realize how much I miss you. I wasn't lying when I said I wanted you back. I do, and I was willing to do anything to do so. I'm so sorry, Levi."

I take the gun from her head. "That's all I wanted to hear. You know I wasn't going to shoot you. You know I only have this gun for emergency purposes only."

"I know, Levi. But will you maybe think about taking me back?"

"I'm sorry, Jade. I don't want you back. I want Eren. I like Eren."

"Then can we...at least be friends? Until I move out of the country that is."

"Of course, Jade. We're actually going shopping later, and we might need some help and the extra cash. Would you want to come?"

"Duh, what are we shopping for?"

"Clothes for Eren."

"Oh, that reminds me," She looks over to Eren and puts her hand out. Eren reluctantly takes it as she helps him off the bed. "I'm...really sorry about what I did. I didn't really mean for it to go that far, it's just that your boyfriend here, was being a stubborn little ass," she chuckles. 

Eren blushes, probably at the word 'boyfriend' since he hasn't ever had one before. "It's okay, Jade. I mean, I would go that far for Levi-wait! no- I didn't mean it!" Eren says while his blushing grows more intense. 

I chuckle and walk over to Eren, tiptoeing to peck him on the forehead before wrapping an arm around his waist. "Not just yet, Loverboy. We're not official yet."

"Y-yeah, I know that."

"Mm~ Levi?" I hear Petra yawn from the doorway. 

I turn to look at her. "Hey, you're awake," I say walking up to her to guide her to the bed. 

“Who is this?" She yawns once more, motioning her head to Jade. 

Jade pouted out her lip. "Aw, Petra, you don't remember me?"

"What do you-Oh my god!! Jade!! I almost didn't recognize you because you changed your style since the last time I saw you. What are you doing here?" Petra yells as she springs up from the bed and gives Jade a hug.

“I was just stopping by to take Big Boy back."

Petra laughs. "Yeah, and how did that go?"

Jade laughs. "Let's just say...it didn't go as planned."

"What, were you hoping for me to come back to you instantly and just jump right into your arms? Jade, you hurt me. I cried for nights on end about you. You never left my mind for a whole year! I thought I was never going to get over you. Luckily, I did get over you after a year and a half after we broke up. Now that I think about it, we dated three years ago. We had sex at age 15, we should've known it wasn't going to last. Jade, our relationship was so unhealthy. We were acting like college students. I'm not saying I regret our whole relationship, now. You made me happy. You're what I lived for. You helped me overcome my depression, but then when you left, it all came back. And the worst part, is that you didn't even tell me why you broke up," I snap at her causing her to take a step back. 

"Levi I-" "Levi, why didn't you tell me you were suffering from depression?!" Eren interrupts Jade. 

"Eren, I've been helping you with your depression. I've been helping you."

"Levi, I don't care about that. I told you you can tell me anything. I can't believe you hid this from me."

“You hid your abusive father from me."

“....touché," Eren laughs and I chuckle. 

“Wow, you guys are just adorable," Jade says as she puts her weight on one foot. "anyways~, Levi, I didn't mean for any of that to happen. I didn't tell you, because I didn't want to worry you...I...I was planning on taking my own life."

I sit there wide eyed, not know what to say. "Does that mean that you were never happy with me in the first place?"

Silence. 

I roll my eyes and walk out the door. 

**(Eren's pov)**

I follow Levi after he storms out of the room and grab his wrist, making him stop. "Levi, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. I kinda just...got mad. That was bad on my part."

"You have a reason to be mad. But just put it all behind you. It's in the past now. Go back in there and apologize and then let's go shopping," I smile. 

He nods his head and turns around, our hands linked together. I once again am brought with the feeling that I'm safe with Levi. We reach the room and walk in again. Petra smiles a sympathetic smile. "Listen, Jade," She looks up. "I'm sorry. I was out of line. I shouldn't have stormed out like that. Forgive me?"

“Of course," she starts. "now, can we go shopping?" She asks with a chuckle. 

"Yeah."

***

We reach the mall and Levi immediately guides me to a place where he said he really liked. Hot Topic. Apparently Jade likes it too because she was checking everything out in the store. I don't know if it was for her or for me, but she was looking through everything like she knew the store.

After about 10 minutes, Levi and Jade run up to me at the same time on both sides of me. Their hands are both full with clothing, "Eren! Try mine on first!" Jade yells in my ear. 

"Fine, fine," I sigh as I grab the clothes out of Jade's hands and go to the dressing room. 

“Make sure to come out and show me, Tall Stuff!" Levi yells, making me blush a little. 

The first outfit is a tight black sweater with a hood. It feels comfortable and is a snug fit. The pants are tight black ripped jeans with black and white converse. I'm guessing that these shoes go with both outfits that she gave me because there's only one pair of shoes. 

I step out of the dressing room and see Levi waiting for me, leaning up against the wall with Jade. He sees me and starts looking up to me and whistles. "Man, you really do look hot in black," he coos. 

I start to blush. "Th-thanks."

"Are you getting it?"

"I can't, Levi. Don't tell me you'll pay for it."

“He won't be paying for it, I'll pay for it. I dropped out of high school and somehow got this awesome job that pays me a shit ton. I can pay for this."

"No, Jade-" Jade interrupts me by putting her fingernail on my lips.

"-Sh, don't. There's no need to argue. I'm buying you everything we get from this store no matter what."

"O-oh, okay."

"Alright Hot Stuff, now go and put on the other outfit. And don't forget to show Levi. He's complaining you took too long to dress so I would hurry it up next time."

“Thank you," I finish as I turn around and walk back into the dressing room. 

The second outfit is a plain black shirt with more black skinny jeans and once again...they were ripped. To top it off, there's l a red flannel that I tie le around my waist and the black and white converse.

"Damn, you can look hot in black and you can rock a flannel? What are you, a God?" Levi chuckles. "By the way, that flannel makes you look gay," Levi says teasingly. 

I roll my eyes. "Stop being a stereotypical bitch," I chuckle. 

He chuckles. "Hey, be proud of yourself. Be proud that you're gay. It's a part of who you are. Endure it."

"I know, stop talking nonsense," I say as I flick him in the forehead. 

“Eren, grab your clothes and then hand them to me and then Levi will give you his," Jade calls and out to me as I walked back. 

While I'm in the dressing room, I can't stop thinking about how these two people make me happy. I barely even know Jade, and she was a total bitch before, but I sort of understand why she needed to stand her ground. Levi is amazing. I don't know what's up with Petra though. She's been pretty quiet since we got here. 

I walk out of the dressing room and hand Jade the clothes and Levi hands me the clothes that he got me. There are three outfits this time. Again, they were all black. I roll my eyes. "You really think I look nice in black, don't you?" I teas. 

"Of course I do. It brings out those gorgeous turquoise eyes of yours," He told me with just as much tease before kissing my nose. 

I roll my eyes and turn and walk into the dressing rooms again. The first outfit of Levi's is a button up like the one I have on, except this one is tighter and has white buttons instead of black ones, and the fabric was silkier. The pants were black and skinny, "What a surprise," I think as I roll my eyes. At least they're not ripped. The shoes are leather ankle boots similar to Jade's. 

I show Levi and of course, he had a different reaction. He plays with the buttons a little and tiptoes to kiss my cheek. Although, telling me I look hot in black doesn't change. 

I go back to change into the third outfit he gave me. The shirt is black, I roll my eyes and smile, as was the rest of the outfit. The shirt is a button up like the one I had on earlier, except the fabric is like my original button up, and these buttons are gold. On the left side of the buttons, there are different pieces of fabric that are 'buttoned' down. I say that in quotations, because you can't actually unbutton them. And on the right side, there is a horizontal zipper.

The pants are skinny, black, and ripped...again, but this time, the rips are just on the knees, and the shoes are plain black converse. 

I walk back out, and it's the same thing. Different response, but still made sure to tell me that I look hot in black. And my response is always the same: I roll my eyes and blush. 

The final outfit is just a plain black long sleeve shirt that fit snugly and black skinny jeans that only have a rip on the knee on the right side, and black and white converse. 

I walk out and show Levi, only once again getting a different response but still inferring that I look hot in black. I again just roll my eyes and blush as I went back and changed. How is Levi going to pay for this? I hand Levi the clothes and he pays just fine. I'm missing out on a lot, aren't I? Oh well, Levi will tell me when he's ready. 

Petra finally starts to talk about everything she likes and dislikes because Levi forced it upon her. I realize that we're practically the opposite person. The only thing we have in common is that we both have feelings for Levi. 

Of course, Levi is oblivious to it, but Jade and I can tell. But, she is still funny. She's still a really nice person with a good personality. We just never see eye-to-eye. I'd be willing to be slight acquaintances with her. 

Levi intertwines his fingers in mine and I relax. I didn't even realize that I was tensed. Levi makes me feel so calm. He makes me feel like there's not a care in the world. He makes me happy. He rubs his thumb along my hand in reassurance and everything feels right. Today has been a good day. The voice isn't here, either. I don't feel their presence. I don't think anything can ruin this day. 

Until...


	13. Chapter 13

**(Eren's pov)**

I'm in the hospital right now. No, I'm not the one in the hospital. It's Mikasa. She saved my life by taking the bullet. She somehow managed to make it to me in time. The doctors don't know if she can make it. She's currently in surgery, they're trying to take out the bullet. _'This is your fault. It's all your fault. She saved her life for who? A useless piece of shit.'_

I ignore it, however, it's right. 

**~flashback to like, idk an hour or two ago~**

_We walk out of Hot Topic and Petra is bragging about something, but I'm not really paying attention to what she's talking about. I'm staring off into space just thinking about how much my life has been better since I met Levi. I didn't expect myself to start liking Levi so soon. I'm pretty sure this has been our fourth day knowing each other. He has made such an impact on my life, that he doesn't understand. I love being around him. His presence makes me feel safe and special. He makes me feel wanted, he makes me want to live._

_I snap out of my daze when Levi nudges me with his shoulder. "So?" He asks.  
_

_"Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. What was your question?"  
_

_"I asked you if you were hungry."  
_

_"Oh, no, I'm not that hungry."  
_

_He raises an eyebrow at me and sighs. "You promised me you would start eating."  
_

_I sign and frown slightly. "Do you not trust that I'm not hungry?" And on cue, my stomach growls._

_Levi rolls his eyes. "Yeah, you're a hypocrite. You're eating even if I to shove the food down your throat."_

_"Okay, mom," I chuckle.  
_

_"I mean it, Eren."  
_

_"Okay, sorry, Levi."_

_We are on the way to the food court when we hear a window break. The alarm goes off and we are all too confused to know what's happening. The others' instincts are to run, but I'm scared shitless. I stand still.  
_

_We hear a gun shot and I hear Levi call my name. I see the bullet coming my way and I just sit there. I close my eyes, waiting for the impact. I hear the noise of a bullet hitting someone, but it's me. I don't feel anything.  
_

_I do however, hear a painful scream that makes me cringe. I recognized that screen. But the last time I heard it was years ago.  
_

_I look down to see Mikasa with a pool of blood surrounding her. I'm wide eyed, "Oh my god, Mikasa. Mikasa! Mikasa?!" she doesn't answer me so I grab her bridal style and tells Levi to grab a cloth and put pressure on the gun wound._

_We rush into Jade's car and make our way to the hospital, we quickly explain to the receptionist what happened to Mikasa and they quickly get a bed and put her on it.  
_

_We don't know what to do. We're all scared. I see Jean walk into the room. He's pale. "Jaeger, you know this is your fault, right!? If you didn't move out of the way, Mikasa wouldn't have jumped in to save your ass! This is your fault!" Jean yells at me.  
_

_"Don't you think I know that? It's always my fault, isn't it? It's my fault you hate me, it's my fault Mikasa and Armin left me, it's my fault my dad left, it's my fault my mother committed suicide, and it's my fault Mikasa got shot, right? Everythings my fault, right!?" I snap at Jean._

_Jean stares at me wide eyed. "No, that's not what I meant...Eren, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to trigger anything. But it is your fault that Mikasa got shot. I'm not forgiving you for this."  
_

_"I'm not forgiving me either," I say as I drift off in a depressing slumber._

**~Present time~**

I quickly shoot up from my slumber and look around to find Levi. He isn't here and I couldn't sense him--his negative energy--either. How long was I asleep? Jean is still here but he fell asleep. There's uneaten food to my left, assuming it's mine. But where is Levi? Just at that moment, I see Levi walk in with a Mountain Dew in his hands. "Thank goodness, Levi."

"What?"

"I was worried, I couldn't find you."

He looks at me with an eyebrow raised. "I told you I was just going to get a drink?"

“You did?"

"Well, yeah."

"How did I respond?"

"I don't know, you groaned."

I chuckle. "And I'm the one who's dumb sometimes," I roll my eyes, remembering what Levi told me early this morning.

He chuckles. "Yeah. How's Mikasa doing?"

"I don't know, you would need to ask Jean. I think her surgery is finished. Jean went to visit her a while ago I think."

"Okay, I'm going to see if I can go see her."

"I want to go with you, then."

"Okay, if you say so."

We talk to the receptionist and she tells us which room she's in. We walk in and she sees me and smiles slightly. "Oh my God, Mikasa, you're okay. I'm so glad you're okay. I'm so sorry I put you through this. Why didn't you let the bullet hit me? You know it would be better if I die, and not you."

"Eren, I love you, Eren. You've always been my brother. That's why I saved you. Don't ever say that again, Eren, okay? You're worth everything to me. I don't care about Jean. But I do have bad news," Mikasa says quietly.

"What is it?"

"I won't be able to go to the school camping trip in a couple of months. The doctors told me I'm not allowed to do any sort of physical activity or whatever for at least five months. The gun wound was that bad."

"Mikasa, you know I wouldn't be able to afford it anyways. You would've been able to afford it. I know you were looking forward to it, it was all you could talk about every since you found out about it two weeks ago. If you hadn't had jumped in front of me, you could've gone, and now it's my fault you're not going."

"But Eren, I don't care. Your life got saved, that's all that matters."

I open my mouth to retaliate, but Levi interrupt. "Eren, she's right. Just be happy it wasn't you. Mikasa, I came because I wanted to ask you something. I wanted to know if you're okay with me and Eren."

"Of course I'm okay with it. I've been observing you guys, and you make him really happy. I can tell, look at his eyes, there's a hint of life back in them. Thank you, Levi."

"No, thank you, Mikasa," He finishes and walks out of the room.

"Are you really okay with it?" I asked. 

"Yeah, he's making you happy."

"Mikasa, I have something to confess."

"What is it?"

"I was raped," I say bluntly.

She tries to quickly sit up, but is hit with pain. She yelps. "By who?" She says, panting.

"Dad's friend, Jesse,"

"Tch, I hate all of dad's friends and I've never met them."

"Yeah...I'm going to go, Mikasa. I hope you feel better. I'm so so sorry," I say as she says bye to me and I walk out of the room. I walk to Levi and grab his arm, pulling him back. "Let's go home. I can't stay here any longer," I tell Levi.

"Oh, okay," and with that, we leave left the hospital room.

"Hey, Eren?" Levi asks as we walk.

"Yeah?"

"What school trip are you talking about?"

"Oh right, you weren't here. Okay, so every year, seniors get to go on this camping trip and we get to stay in these lodge things. I haven't been looking forward to it and I can't afford it anyways. Mikasa really wanted to go, but now she can't," I say with guilt.

"I'm paying for you then," Levi says monotonously.

"No, Levi. You already paid for these clothes."

"I don't care."

"Tsk."

***

It's been a month since that incident. Jade left last week and we gave her a farewell party. Levi also tried to have sex with me that night, but I refused. He got kind of annoyed, but anyways, there's another month until the trip, and this weekend, there's a festival that Levi wants to go to with me. Anyways, the past month consisted of Jean telling me that Mikasa is my fault, calling me a faggot, beating me up, bullying me, the usual. Of course, Levi still saved my ass multiple times. I don't deserve him.

**~Time skip~**

It's finally the weekend and I'm getting ready to go to the festival with Levi. I've been waiting for this all week. Levi got a car last month too, so now we don't have to walk everywhere. It's about time, though. We're seniors, I don't have a car because I don't have the money. 

But anyway, there's sweat dripping off my face, my hair is a mess, and clothes are all over my room. I feel like a girl because I say I have nothing to wear, yet there's clothes scattered around my room. 

I finally decide on an outfit. I wear black ripped skinny jeans with the leather boots Levi got me, and then the flannel that I wore with the black shirt under it. I try to slick my hair back, and it actually turns out well. 

I hear a knock on my door and I scurry down the stairs. I open it to see Levi. He's wearing black ripped skinny jeans like mine, except mine have more rips, and he wears black and white converse. He has a tight black shirt that shows off his muscles, "Hey, Eren? Are you okay? I think I see some drool on the side of your mouth," He chuckles, causing me to go red and wipe my mouth.

"Y-yeah, I'm okay, you just look...really hot."

"You don't look so bad yourself," He jokes.

I roll my eyes and grab his hand and intertwine our fingers. Today is going to be a good night.


	14. Chapter 14

**(Eren's pov)**

Levi and I finally arrive where the festival is being held with our hands linked together. I look around at all the glowing lights and lanterns and am in awe. There are rides on one side, and booths full of games and food and the other side. There are going to be fireworks tonight, which is why Levi and I decided to go tonight.

I have never been to a festival before, Mikasa always wanted me to go but I never felt like it. This year, it's different, I have Levi. I want to spend every minute with him. Levi os always there for me I he need it. 

Ever since I found out about Levi's depression, I helped Levi in every way he could. We are both very grateful to have each other.

"Hey, Levi?" I speak quietly. 

"Yeah?"

"I'm so glad to have you."

"Me too, Eren. Thank you for helping me. Sorry I didn't tell you about my depression earlier, I was being a hypocrite."

I roll my eyes. "Really?" I say sarcastically. 

Levi playfully nudges me. "Shut up."

"But seriously though, Levi...thank you so much. You're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me."

"And same here, Loverboy. Now, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know, I've never been to one of these things. What do you want to do?"

“My favorite thing was always just watching the fireworks, I always came here alone anyways."

“Then do you just want to wait until then?"

"But I want you to have a fun time."

"Levi, I agreed to come because I wanted to spend time with you. I don't care what we do, but since you always came alone, maybe you should actually try something. You can try the game booths."

"You're right."

Levi walks off with his fingers still in between mine. We are walking around for an hour or so doing activities and eating. Also, Levi finally got me to eat normally, and takes me out to go exercise so I can get my old body back. 

Levi is so freaking amazing, I'm jealous. We're the "just friends" couple that pretends to not be dating when they're around the people that they know even though...we're really not a couple.

I know he's just doing it for my sake, but I'm doing it for his. It's not like I don't want to be with him, it's just that I don't want him to get bullied the way I do. I don't want him to go through what I went, and currently, going through. 

The voice also hasn't been with me, hopefully it's gone for a little while longer. It's been really peaceful and I haven't cut. Yep, I'm a month clean, all thanks to Levi. All because he took me in his hands and became a part of my life. He made me happy.

Levi and I are sitting at a table eating candied apples when Petra sees us. She and Jade are the only two that really knew we are 'together but not'. She's been doing well to keep it, but I know for sure that she's just as jealous as I was when they always talked. I'm pretty sure she's in love with him and I'm not letting her steal Levi away from me. No one is going to steal away my happiness. 

"Eren!" Levi calls out to me, snapping me out of my daze.

“Hm?"

"Do you want to go set up for fireworks, and do you mind if Petra tags along?"

"Oh, uh no, she can hang out with us, and sure."

"Okay, cool."

We stand up and walk around, trying to find a good spot to watch the fireworks. Once we did so, Petra put down the blanket that she just so happened to have on the ground. "It's a little small so not everyone will fit with a good amount of space, someone will have to sit on the grass," Petra says, probably trying to get me off, but of course I didn't want to be a burden so I volunteered.

"I can do-" 

"-No, it's fine. You don't need to sit on the grass," Levi interrupts me. 

"But I'm not letting you sit on the grass and Petra brought the blanket so she shouldn't be the one to sit on the grass."

"I know."

"Then where am I-" I'm cut off by Levi grabbing my shirt and pulling me onto the blanket with him behind me. I start to blush. "But Levi, I'm taller than you."

"Then switch me."

"O-oh, okay."

I stand up, letting Levi scoot up in front of me and sit down behind him so he could sit between my legs. I put my arms to my side. He 'tch'ed and grabbed my arms, forcing them to go around his waist. "You shy little bastard," He chuckles.

"S-sorry," I reply shyly, putting my chin on his head. He looks at me so my face was right above his. He grabs my head, forcing it down so our lips connect. We linger in the kiss for a while before breaking apart.

"I have something to ask you," Levi replies. 

My heart starts to flutter. "Y-yes?" I have a good feeling with this questions. 

"Will you please do me the honors, of finally being my boyfriend?" The fireworks go off and illuminate our faces. I chuckle.

"What?"

"Nothing, just the irony."

A firework shoots up again. "Of what?"

"When we first met, you told me hated cliché things and this is probably one of the most cliché things you could do," I say, rolling my eyes.

"Tch, shut up you damn brat, what's your answer?"

"Uhmm...no."

He quickly shoots up. "No!?"

I laugh. "I'm kidding! Yes!" I finish pulling his lips onto mine. 

"Tch, you actually had me worried there."

"I'm sorry, Levi. Forgive me?" I ask, putting my lip out in a pout and meeting his beautiful, silver blue eyes.

He kisses me on the lips for a couple seconds and lingers, slowly pulling away. "Of course."


	15. Chapter 15

**(Eren's pov)**

Levi and I just had left the festival and are now currently in the car with his hand on my thigh. The blush on my face is dark and it never left, it only darkened when Levi starts to rub it my thigh. I clear my throat. "U-Uhm, Levi?" I ask quietly. 

"Yes, Love?" Levi replies, giving me a sideways glance.

"Do you think I can spend the night at your house? I really don't want to go home tonight," I ask quietly. 

"Why would I ever say no? Of course you can."

"Thank you, Levi."

The rest of the car ride is mostly silent, but we are enjoying each others' presence. The only times we did talk, was when Levi asked me a question that I could only answer with a few words, so it didn't last long. We don't mind though, we just love to be around each other. 

We finally get to Levi's house and go inside. When I shut the door, Levi immediately pins me against it, kissing my lips hungrily. It takes me a while render what he's doing and start kissing back, just as hungry. I put my hand on the back of his head, ruffling my hand through his soft, silky, raven hair. I moan in delight before he moves down to my neck, kissing it softly, then kissing it more rough. I tense, and he immediately stops, "Are you okay?" He asks quietly, but audible to me.

"Yeah, just not so rough, please. Levi, I wouldn't be able to go with it anyways, so don't be disappointed when I don't want to do it," I reply, slightly shaking.

"Right, sorry," He says quietly before kissing my neck again; softer, but still enough for me to moan in pleasure. He pulls away, smirking before grabbing my shirt collar and pulling me over to the couch. He quickly takes off his shirt before pinning me down to the couch. He rolls his eyes. "Come on, I can't be the only one. Take it off," He demands and I reluctantly sit up to do so. I'm still insecure, but not as much as I used to be since I start to eat and work out. I still don't have the abs that I used to have, but I wasn't so skinny anymore and I still have some muscle.

He pins me back down onto the couch before coming on top of me, leaning down and kissing my lips again. He licks my bottom lip, begging to be let in. I cautiously let him and our tongues dance in my mouth before he moves away, leaving a string of saliva keeping us together. "Tch," He says in disgust before wiping it off. He moves back down to my neck, kissing it softly. Then my collar bone. Then my chest. Then down my abdomen. The door swings open, making Levi stop right above my prized possession.

"Sorry boys, I didn't-Eren?" The mysterious man says.

Levi shoots up, immediately knowing who it is "What are you doing here, and how did you get in here!?" Levi snaps. 

"I came back. That's all I want, Levi. I want to be let into your life again. And, your door was unlocked."

"I'm not letting you back in my life after you left me, Kenny."

"Too bad I don't need your permission. I could do something to your boyfriend and you very well know that," Kenny says in a low tone.

"Tch, I know. Fine, I may be able to forgive you as time goes by. And, how do you know Eren?" He asks before looking at my nervous body. I gulp. "Eren, are you not telling me something?"

"No, I-" 

"-I told him not to tell you I came back. I told him if he did, there would be consequences," Kenny interrupts me.

“But you knew he was here, didn't you!?" Levi yells at me.

I flinch. "Y-yes, Levi," I reply quietly, hanging my head low.

"Tch, I'm not mad, brat. I'm just upset that you never told me, it's not like he would've ever found out if you told me."

"You're right, I should've told you."

"Aw, how cute. Now, put your shirts on. I won't tolerate any type of nudity in this house."

Levi rolls his eyes but looks at me and nods his head, telling me to do what he says. "What about showers?" Levi replies in a smart ass tone after lowering the shirt over his abdomen.

Kenny rolls his eyes right back. "Stop being a smart ass," Kenny laughs shoving Levi playfully on the head, making Levi slightly chuckle.

"You know, living with you might not be so bad. If you've changed that is, and it seems that you have. Forgiving you may not take as long as I thought," Levi says with a smirk.

"You haven't changed a bit over the years. You're still a brat," Kenny smirks back.

"Uhm, do you guys want me to leave so I can let you guys catch up?" I reply. "I don't want to be a burden or anything so I can just leave."

"Eren, you're not being a burden. Stay with us for the night, get to know Kenny," Levi replies, grabbing me and setting me down on the couch with him sitting to the left before putting a hand on my thigh.

"I would love to, if that's okay with you, Kenny."

"Of course it is. I know Grisha and Jesse weren't good to you, but I was only there for the beer and to see Grisha. Trust me," Kenny replies nicely.

***

Time passes and throughout the night, we talk about how Kenny's life was when he was going around without Levi. We talk about the times Kenny and Levi had. Some were fun, others weren't. I never had a relationship like that with my dad since he wasn't with me. Now that he's back though, I still wouldn't be able to do anything fun with him, that's all I want now. "How were times with Grisha?" Kenny asked me.

I freeze up. "Well, he left me when I was a child and only recently came back about a month ago," I reply quietly.

"Shit, I'm sorry kid. Is he treating you well now? I mean, I know he isn't treating you well emotionally, what I mean is, is he abusive or anything?"

I tense up. "Kenny," Levi says harshly.

"So he is..." Kenny trails off, "I'll give him a good talking to."

I perk my head up after what he said. "Will you really? Whenever I try to talk to him, well...you know."

"Yeah, yeah. I know. I'll talk to him."

"With words, right?" Levi chimes in.

"With words, of course. But, if he doesn't listen to me at all really, then I'm switching to fists. It's the Ackerman way."

Levi snickers. "Damn right," He replies before taking a sip of his soda.

Everything is going amazing, everything is going fine. I'm able to get to know Kenny, I'm able to know Levi more than I already did. It's amazing. All up until we go to bed. Levi and I crawl into his bed ready to sleep, and then the voice comes back. Out of all times, the voice decided to come back when I was sleeping peacefully next to Levi. Why now?

_'You're being a burden. You're being a nuisance. Kenny was just being nice. He doesn't want you here. Don't let Levi deceive you either. You think everything is going to be okay because you're officially dating? Don't make me laugh.'_

_"Shut up. He does care. He's not deceiving me. Go away."_

'You know I'm the only one telling you the truth here. You're being a burden.'

_"If I leave will that make you shut up for the rest of the night?"  
_

_'Possibly. I can't promise you anything, but it doesn't hurt to try.'  
_

_“Fine, if it's a way to shut you up. I'll go for a walk."  
_

_'That's a good boy.'_

I get out of Levi's bed and start to walk out his room quietly. I open the front door and close it quietly. At least I got out of there without anyone noticing. 

I sigh, walking more, meeting a few fuzzy creatures on the way. I look around and debate whether to just go back to my house...until I reach a park. It's deserted but that's what I expect this late at night. I walk over and sit on the swing set with my feet on the floor, swinging back and forth using my feet. 

I sigh, looking down to the ground. It's a warm night, well, I should say humid. It rained earlier, but it's still warm, with a slight cool breeze. "I'm not worth it...am I?" I mumble.

_'You're not. Slit your wrists for me. You haven't done it in a while...please. For your only friend.'_

"It wouldn't be enough."

_'Then finish your life officially. That'll be enough.'_

"Not today."

_'Tsk, fine. We'll make up a day together.'_

And we did.


	16. Chapter 16

**(Levi's pov)**

I wake up in the middle of the night to reach for Eren when I feel nothing. Anxiety comes over me and I quickly shoot up in my bed and my breathing starts to become erratic. "Shit, shit, shit," I mutter under my breath. I quickly put on a shirt and grab my shoes and run out of my house. 

I run around my neighborhood trying to look for him and start to freak out more once I never found him. I go towards his house to see if he would be there, though I don't know why he would be there.

It's dark and I'm walking around and I hear mumbling. "It wouldn't be enough," It speaks. I stop. "Not today," It speaks again. My eyes widen once I hear it's Eren's voice. I look forward and to my right to see Eren sitting on a swing in a deserted park. 

I reach him and I notice he's shaking as he looks on at the ground, his voice is shaky. "Eren?" I ask.

He looks up to me and his face is pale once again. All the hard work for nothing. "Hi," is all Eren says.

I sit down on the swing next to him. "Why'd you run off? I was worried sick."

"I didn't want to be a burden."

"Eren, I already told you that you weren't being a burden, come one, let's go back...Please," I plead, standing up from the swing before standing in front of Eren.

I put out my hand for him to take. He looks up to it, but doesn't take it. He looked back down to the ground, "I don't want to be a nuisance to you. You can leave me here. I'll be okay."

"Eren, I'm not leaving you in a park alone at 4:30 in the morning. You're coming back to my house...our house."

His head perks up once hearing what I said and grabs my hand. I pull him up. "Thank you, Levi. Thank you for caring for me. I can never repay you."

I peck him on the lips. "You don't need to."

"Levi, I-never mind."

"Hey, you can tell me anything."

"I'm not ready for that yet, sorry."

"You don't need to be. It's okay. You're okay. I promise."

"Thank you."

The rest of our walk home is pretty quiet with occasional small conversations. Eren and I walk with our fingers intertwine together. Every time we hold hands, it feels so right, it feels so natural. It's like our fingers fit together like a puzzle. It's like my heart, too. There was this missing piece in my heart and I finally found the final piece. It was Eren.

**(Eren's pov)**

"Eren?" Someone asks and I look up to see Levi standing next to the swing.

“Hi," is all I say. Hell, it's all I could say, as he sits down on the swing next to me. His feet barely able to touch the ground.

"Why'd you run off? I was worried sick," He asks in a worried tone, making me feel guilty that I left him.

"I didn't want to be a burden," I reply shyly. I know he said I wasn't being a burden, but it couldn't help what I and the voice felt.

“Eren, I already told you that you weren't being a burden, come one, let's go back...Please," Levi pleads, standing up from the swing before standing in front of me. 

He puts out his hand for me to take. I look up to it, but I don't take it. I look back to the ground. I was afraid. I was guilty. I was sad. "I don't want to be a nuisance to you. You can leave me here. I'll be okay," I finally say.

"Eren, I'm not leaving you in a park alone at 4:30 in the morning. You're coming back to my house...our house," Levi says sincerely and my head perks up at his words. Does he really mean it? Is it finally our house?

I grab his hand and he helps me to my feet. "Thank you, Levi. Thank you for caring for me. I can never repay you."

He looks at me and gives me a peck on the lips. "You don't need to."

"Levi, I-never mind," I want to tell him that I love him, because I do. He's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. I don't want to leave him, nor do I want to lose him. I feel as though it's too soon and he'll turn away from me. I really do love Levi though, with all the strength my heart can muster. I don't want anyone else.

"Hey, you can tell me anything."

"I'm not ready for that yet, sorry," I half lie.

"You don't need to be. It's okay. You're okay. I promise."

"Thank you."

The rest of our walk home is pretty quiet with occasional small conversations. Levi and I walk with our fingers intertwined together. Every single time we hold hands, it feels so right, it feels so natural. It's like our fingers are made for each other. They fit together like a puzzle. 

It's like my soul, too. There's this missing piece in my dark soul that just can't fill the emptiness that I have, and I finally found the final piece. It's Levi. He's the missing piece that I need to finish the puzzle I call my soul.

***

I wake up in Levi's bed and I turn around once I realize that his heat is gone. He isn't in bed. I quickly shoot up and start to look around. "Hey, calm down Tall Boy. I'm right here," Levi says, reassuring me as he walks in the room.

I gulp. “I thought you left. I was scared for a second," I say truthfully.

He chuckles, "All I did was take a shower you Paranoid Prick."

I can't help but stare at his body that is in front of me. His hair is slicked back with water, assuming he had just taken a shower. His cheeks, nose, and ears are tainted a light pink from the warmth of the water. 

He wears nothing but a towel that hung low on his waist, showing his V-line. The water droplets on his chest and abs make them look all the more sexier. Before I know it, I start to blush wildly. 

He chuckles again, moving closer to me so our faces are merely centimeters apart. "What's on your mind, Eren?"'He asks in a deep tone that makes my heart flutter and sent shivers down my spine. 

I gulp. "N-nothing," I reply, my eyes flicking down to his lips. 

He smirks before leaning in and slowly kissing my lips. They aren't rough, but nor are they too soft. I kiss back with the same amount of force. I pull away before we can go any further. I'm still not ready and I don't know how long it will take until I am ready. 

He did tell me he would take it slow, and I am grateful for that. 

***

Levi and I spend the rest of the day with each other out in public. We're still trying to hide the fact that we're dating from the people at school, mainly because I don't want the to figure out. 

Levi and I did get into a small argument about it because he thought that I was thinking about myself and that I didn't want to get bullied anymore, when the truth is that I don't want him to get bullied because of me. I don't want him to go through what I had to go through.

Besides the small arguments we occasionally have, we would go around eating and would go to the arcade. 

Levi was really competitive, but it's not like I didn't see that coming. He almost broke the machine when I won him and he actually threatened to kill me when I won. I was laughing my ass off. People probably thought we were mental, but that's just who we are, and I'm glad to be this type of couple. 

The weekend finally came to an end and we are dreading going to school. We were going to ditch, but Kenny told us otherwise and we both know not to mess with him, so we went to school. I wouldn't say it's a good day, but it isn't necessarily terrible either. Of course there's the name calling and the occasional punches by Jean, but other than that, less people have started to bully me and I think it's because of Levi.

Ever since Levi beat up Jean a month ago, people haven't been beating me up recently, but that never stopped the secret name calling. I tell Levi about them all the time so I don't know why they don't do it while Levi's with me. It's pitiful, actually. 

**~A month later~**

It's finally been a month and there's only a week until the camping trip, and frankly, I don't want to go to but Levi paid for me. All I really want to do is spend it with him. I want to get away from school, not because of the bullying, I just want to get that month off that us seniors deserve. I'm going to make this a good trip because I'm never going on another one after this. 

Levi's pretty excited for this trip because he's never been up to the mountains. I haven't either, but I've never been too fond of them. It might be because I have never gone there before. Levi won't stop talking about it and I'm finding it kind of adorable. The way his eyes slightly sparkle as he talks about the lake, and the hikes, and the cabins, I'm so glad I'm going with Levi.

"So you know how you and I have been spending a lot of time together since started dating?" I ask Levi. We're sitting down outside the school eating our food.

"Tch, finish eating your food before you speak...but yes, I do," Levi replies. 

B"Jean keeps talking to me about it and he won't shut up," I say, waving my fork around before putting the food in my mouth. "What do I do?" I say through my chewing.

"Oi, I told you to finish eating before you talk, filthy brat," Levi complains. "I don't know, punch him in the face or something."

“You know I can't do that," I once again say through chewing. He rolls his eyes and grab my food, throwing it away. "Hey! I wasn't done eating that, Short Bastard."

“I don't know if you can or not. I've never seen you punch someone before," Levi says, ignoring my comment.

“Exactly, Levi."

“"Just because you've never done it before, doesn't mean you can't punch. Anyone can punch."

"Shut up," Levi chuckles as the bell rings and we go inside for class. 

After school, we decided to go to Levi's house and watch a movie. Of course, since I can't fully watch movies, I fell asleep with my head on Levi's lap as he pet my head. Levi doesn't sleep much, but I occasionally force him to because he needs his sleep. 

VI wake up to the sound of pots and pans in the kitchen and I slowly open my eyes. "Levi?" I ask groggily, sitting up and rubbing my tired eyes.

"Yes, I'm in the kitchen," He calls out to me. I slowly walk my way into the kitchen and sit on the stool that sit in front of his counter. "Hi sleepyhead," Levi says soothingly to me as he walks up to me, pecking me on the lips.

"Hey insomniac bitch," I joke.

He narrows his eyes at me. "Watch it."

"Stop being my dad."

“Don't worry, I already have the spot as your Daddy," He says in a seductive tone. I'm confused until I know what he means and my face goes a beet red. He laughs. Levi laughed. The stone cold bitch, laughed.

My eyes widen. "Levi you-"

"Yeah, I laughed. Don't speak of that to anyone...ever."

I put my hands up in a surrender. "Alright, alright," I laugh. He walks over to me with two plates of food in his hand. He ruffles my hair after putting my food in front me of. "Levi, this looks amazing!" I exclaim.

Levi rolls his eyes. "Dude, all it is is eggs, bacon, and pancakes. It's nothing."

I roll my eyes back. "Well, I don't care what it is. You made it, and therefore it looks amazing," I lean closer to him and he leans in for a kiss. I put a finger on his lips, making him stop. "I'm hungry," I tease.

He rolls his eyes. "Tch, you got me excited."

Levi and I spend the rest of the night watching movies, that I somehow stay up during, before Kenny got home. Then we played some board games with Kenny. 

This is the type of family I want...they are practically family, and I love it. My life is going well and amazing.


	17. School Trip Part 1

**(Eren's pov)**

It's been a week and today is the day. The day where us seniors go on our annual 'Vacation Trip'. Of course, only the people whom can afford it can go, so I wouldn't have been able to go. Fortunately for him, and unfortunately for me, Levi had enough money to pay for both of us. 

In all honesty though, I'm not looking forward to this trip, being stuck with a bunch of annoying, arrogant, loud, and stuck up teenagers. Well, and there's a couple adults to keep us in check...Or more like to see how troublesome we can be.

Most of the kids are only coming just to get a month off of school. I don't understand why we're going on this trip for a whole month anyway. Again, I'm not too fond of going, but Levi forced me to, which brings me to why I am currently running around my room. Long story short, I woke up later than originally planned, and I still have to deliver a letter.

I finally get my stuff together and run out of my house, ignoring my dad and his new girlfriend on the couch. I really hate her. She's worse than him.

BI struggle to keep running with my suitcase I'm holding in my hands. Luckily, when I get to the house, I have plenty of time. I knock on the door and wait for an answer. "Jaeger? What are you doing here? Levi left a while ago," Kenny says after opening the door.

"I'm not here for Levi," I say, handing him the letter. "Give this to Levi the day after we get back. Please," I finish before running so he can't reply or refuse.

I look at my watch yo see I only babe 10 minutes to get to the school. "Shit," I mutter as I start running. I eventually make it to the school with only two minutes left. I quickly run to one of the two buses, hoping Levi would be on it. I step inside and dart my eyes trying to find him. I finally lay eyes on Levi and slightly smile. Until I see Petra sitting to the right of him, and to the left of the window.

I'm walking down the aisle, locking eyes with Levi, I trip over someone's foot, too focused on Levi to see it happen. "Fuck!" I yell after landing on my face. I gradually raise my head to see Jean's piercing golden-brown eyes.

I glare at him before lunging at hm. He shoves me off of him, causing me to fall to the ground. "Sorry Faggot, I didn't see you there," Jean says sweetly, trying to hold back a laugh.

I stand up and send him another glare, walking only two rows back to sit by Levi and Petra. Jean turns to Marco with a smug look on his face. "Jean, you guys can get close again if you stop being so mean to him," I hear Marco say.

Jean snorts and I roll my eyes. "I don't need to be close to someone like him. Plus, I'm not being rude," He says in a whiney tone, crossing his arms.

Marco shakes his head in disapproval and lets out a chuckle. "Mhmm, and I'm not the freckled Jesus," He replies sarcastically.

I chuckle at Jean's childish acts, similar to the way Levi would to me. I finally sit down after dealing with my suitcase and Levi puts his hands on my face, checking for bruises. "Oi, brat, are you okay? Did it hurt? Do I need to beat him up again?"

Petra doesn't really care as much, since we don't really like each other, but she's still concerned, "Are you okay?" She asks in a perturbed tone.

I roll my eyes, grabbing Levi's hands and pulling them off my face. I sigh, rubbing the bridge of my sore nose. "Guys, I'm fine," I say.

They glance to each other and sigh, shrugging their shoulders. They lean back in their seat, not asking me anymore questions. I play with my thumbs while Levi and Petra mess around. It's probably around 20-30 minutes. I feel unwanted and useless. "Hey, Levi," I say, getting his attention.

"Yeah?"

"You guys look squished. There's an empty seat behind us. I'll sit there," I say with a depressed tone.

"Are you sure?" He asks in a soft tone.

I nod my head and move back a row. Luckily, I'm further from Jean. I stare out the window at the beautiful scenery as we drive by. 

I admire the beautiful hills with flowerbeds covering them, it really is beautiful. I smirk at the herd of horses gathering around the river eating the grass. "Look! A field of Jeans!" I call out for Jean to hear. I smirk, but inside I instantly regretted it.

Levi smirks and a few chuckle as Jean scowls and stands, turning so he could face me. "Fuck you!" He yells, narrowing his eyes at me. I know he hates this comment the most. He and I used to be really close. We used to be best friends for years until Junior year. So, I know him pretty well.

Marco and a couple others facepalm. "Here we go," I hear Marco mutter. I stand up too, gritting my teeth, _"Damn, you're annoying,"_ I think. "No, fuck you, Asshat!" I yell, clenching my fists.

Jean glares at me before walking down the aisle, kicking me in the stomach once he reaches me. My eyes widen and I stumble back a bit. I glare daggers at him. Man, if looks could kill, he would be long gone.

Without thinking about it, I punch him in the nose, causing him to stand there, dazed at what just happened. Levi and Petra pull me away while Marco and Armin pull away Jean. We scoff, sitting back down in our seats. I'm slightly winded and Jean is holding his now bleeding nose.

I watch Marco pull Jean back to his seat and sighs. "Jean, for goodness sake, just talk to him. You don't have to hurt him," He says impatiently, looking out the window.

“He started it," Jean mumbles, making me roll my eyes but slightly smile. I hate to admit, but I kind of miss him.

The bus screeches to a stop in front of a gas station. The kids stand up and walks off the bus while the bus driver yells at us to be back in at least 10 minutes or he's leaving us. Or...something like that.

I watch Jean go to the bathroom after wincing in pain. I follow him to apologize about earlier. He walks into the bathroom and I walk in not long after, leaning against the wall with my arms crossed, and one ankle crossed over the other.

"Fuck," He mutters, drying off the blood, clinging on to the edge of the sink. He looks back up into the mirror and saw me.

"Having fun?" I ask teasingly.

He narrows his eyes and turned around, glaring at me. "listen here-" he freezes, wincing once more.

I roll my eyes before starting to approach him. "You're going to make it worse, stop doing that. I know from experience, mainly because of you," I chuckle, taking the tissue from his hands and pressing it against his nose gently.

He flinches and takes a step back. "Ow! That hurt! Get your queer hands off me!" He yells glaring at me.

I raise an eyebrow at him, giving him a 'really?' look. I chuckle. "Still a baby. Just like when we were close," I chuckle again. "Oh and Jean, we're more alike than you think," I finish taking a step forwards, trapping him between me and the sink, he goes wide-eyed.

"Wh-what are you talking about!? I'm not like you! I never will be!" He yells at me as I press a new piece of toilet paper against his nose.

"Jean, we were alike before, and we still are now. Neither of us has changed much. That's why we used to get along so well."

"Wh-whatever," Jean stammers, averting his eyes away from me, biting his lip.

I slightly frown, holding the toilet paper a couple seconds longer. "Did I really punch you that hard?" I ask guiltily.

His eyes widen and he shakes his head. "N-no, not at all. Are you okay?" He asks as I step away and throw the toilet paper away.

I laugh. "Jean Kirstein? My bully for almost two years? Asking me if I'm okay? Did you hit your head?" He doesn't normally act this way. Well, he hasn't for the past two years.

"Tsk, sh-shut up," He mumbles, his face heating up.

I smirk and grab more toilet paper, handing it to him. "Here, you'll need it for the bus ride. I assume it's going to be a while."

He nods his head in agreement. "We should probably go back before the bus leaves."

"Yeah," I reply as we started walking. We are walking in silence for a while until the reason why I said that we were more alike than he knows coming back to mind. "hey, Jean?"

"Yeah?" He replies, turning his head towards me.

"I know you're bisexual," I say bluntly.

"Wh-what!? No, I'm not!" He says while blushing intensely.

"I know you better than anyone. We were friends since Kindergarten. Jean, I knew you better than anyone and I still do. I know you. Jean, I hear you talking to Marco about me. If you want me back as a friend I'd gladly take it back."

Jean rolls his eyes and gives a 'tsk', "You know nothing about me. I don't want you as my friend...Angry German Kid," He smirks.

"Whatever you say," I roll my eyes, letting Jean onto the bus first. On this inside, I was smiling that he remembered the first nickname that he gave me in kindergarten. We were friends all the way up until the beginning of Junior year. I really don't understand why. I didn't do anything to him. Oh well.

"I still hate you," Jean says when I walk past his seat.

"Yeah yeah. I hate you too," I smirk.


	18. School Trip Part 2

**(Eren's pov)**

I walk back onto the bus to see that Levi and Petra are sitting in separate seats, Petra in the seat behind him. "What's this all about? Finally got tired of flirting?" I roll my eyes, sitting next to Levi.

He rolls his eyes back at me and flicks me in the forehead before moving his face closer to mine. "No, you moved back so we decided it would just be fair if one of us moved back. Plus, I want to sit with you," He says in a deep tone, smirking. "Although you would probably sit with me anyways."

My face goes red and my eyes flick down to his lips. Following my instincts, I give him a peck on the lips. It's silent. "S-sorry, I didn't-" I'me cut off by Levi pressing his lips onto mine again and lingering before pulling away so no one saw.

“Finally, you haven't kissed me in a week."

I roll my eyes. "And you never thought to kiss me?"

"I thought you didn't want to."

"I would always want to kiss you. I was just thinking a lot."

"And I would've been there to ease off your thinking," He whispers in my ear titillatingly while dragging his finger down my chest, biting his lip.

By this point, my whole face is a burning red and I try to find the words to say. Luckily I don't have to because Levi chuckles. "What?" I ask. 

"Nothing, you're just really adorable when you're flustered." He buries his face in the crook of my neck before kissing it softly but made sure it looks like he's just leaning on it. Luckily, he's next to the window so he can hide it easier.

My face somehow turns a darker shade of red than it was before. He starts to kiss a bit more tough, but still soft enough that people can't hear it. I bite my lip trying to stifle back a moan. I can feel him smirk on my neck.

He puts a hand on my thigh and softly rubs it. "Come on,~ Let me, please?" Levi whispers.

"Levi, we're on a bus," I whisper back.

"Does that mean I'll have you later?" He smirks.

"Only my upper half."

"Tch, fine," He replies a bit louder, sitting up.

"Hey, I never said you had to sit back up," I say with a pout.

He smirks and rolls his eyes, but puts his head back on my shoulder. Levi plays with my hand as we stare in our laps, not speaking to each other. "Are you excited?" Levi finally speaks.

"Not really," I reply back, intertwining my fingers with his.

"Why not?"

"I don't know, I just...I never really cared for these type of things. I always stayed in my room all the time, blocking myself out from the world."

"Doesn't that mean you should be excited?"

"I guess so, but I'm not. I'm only coming because you really wanted to, and you halfway forced me to."

"You could've said no. I would've stayed with you, and I did not force you to."

“Levi, you were excited and I wanted to make you happy, and you so did! You threatened me."

"Tch, I would do no such thing."

"You told me you would break up with me!"

"And why would I break up with you?" He asks with a pouted lip, caressing my cheek.

I avert my eyes from his intense stare. "I don't know, maybe I wouldn't be enough for you, and because I wouldn't go on this trip."

He rolls his eyes. "I was joking you Paranoid Prick. I am glad you decided to come, though."

"Yeah, me too. We get a whole cabin all to ourselves."

"We sure do," He smirks before kissing me on the cheek and putting his head back on my shoulder.

***

The bus finally arrives at the camp. There are woods on one side of the camp that has a trail leading to the lake. On the other side, there are cabins spread all over the camp with long green grass. The lake itself is beautiful. The satisfying gradient of blue that got darker the further out it went. The sun reflects onto the water, making it sparkle. It's beautiful.

"Not bad," Levi says in awe as the bus comes to a stop.

"Yeah, it really is awesome," I reply in just as much awe, putting my chin on his head.

All the students stand and start to walk off the bus. I stand and let all the others off the bus so it's just me and Levi. When everyone gets off, I turn to him and start to kiss him for a couple seconds before pulling away. I smile and walk away before he can say anything.

I walk off the bus and it's even more beautiful than on the bus. It looks more real and lifelike than on the bus...somehow. 

Levi comes behind me and holds my hand, luckily we were in the back. Erwin starts to speak, "We are glad that all of you guys came to this trip. We are glad we were able to afford it this year. Thank you all for coming. I will now assign you to your cabins," He yells for all of the students to hear. My heart freezes in its place and my anxiety starts to build up. I didn't know we had assigned cabins, I just hope I don't get one with Jean, "Kirstein and Braun, you guys are in lodge 1A! Arlert and Ral, you guys are in lodge 1B! Jaeger and Ackerman, you guys are in lodge 1C!" My breathing slows down and I let out a sigh of relief. 

I space out after the rest, thinking about what Levi and I can do on this trip to make him happy. Erwin stops giving everybody their cabins, and the students walk off to their cabins. Levi and I arrive at our cabin and walked inside; admiring it. 

I throw my bag to the side of my bed before jumping on it. Levi walks over to his bed and carefully sets his stuff on the bed and starts to organize them, "Where should we put those?" Levi asks.

"Uhm, I don't know. The dresser maybe?" I reply.

"Yeah, that makes sense. Thanks."

"Anytime."

I shut my eyes as I lay on the partially comfortable bed. A couple of minutes pass when Levi speaks. "Are you ever going to unpack?"

"I'll do it later. Don't worry about it," I reply opening one eye. He gives me a 'tch' before I hear him move to the side of my bed and go through my bag. I open my other eye. "What are you doing?"

"I'm organizing your clothes, you filthy brat."

"Oh, thanks then," A couple of minutes pass before we hear a knock on our cabin door.I'll get it," I say to Levi while he puts my clothes in the dresser. "Oh, hey Armin," I say after opening the door.

"Hi, Eren. I just wanted to let you know that we'll all be at the lake if you and Levi want to come."

"We would love-"

"Eren, who's there?" Levi interrupts me as he walks up behind me, tiptoeing to see who's here. "Oh, hi Armin."

Armin gives a slight wave. "As I was saying, Levi and I would love to come to the lake. We'll be there in a few."

"Cool, I'll see you guys there then," Armin replies with a smile and a wave before turning and walking towards the lake.

"Are you sure you really want to go?" Levi asks me.

"Of course, I don't care if Jean is there. I'll have you and Armin."

"Of course you will," Levi pecks me on the lips before changing into his swim trunks.

***

Levi and I arrive at the lake and Armin waves to us. We walk up to Armin and we are walking alongside the shore, looking at the little bugs, sea creatures, designs people have put, and etc. 

We are walking alongside some rocks when I felt hands on my back. I turn around and notice Levi was smirking. "Levi, come on. Let's talk this out. Don't do it, you'll be making a huge mist-" I'm cut off by Levi pushing me into the lake. "You asshole!" I yell to him from after I come back up. I look at Armin and he nods his head before pushing Levi into the water, too.

"Tch, dumb brats," He says with a smirk after coming back up. 

Levi and I look at each other before looking at Armin deviously. Levi and I make our way to Armin and grab both his ankles. "Wait, guys-" We pull Armin into the lake with us and he laughs after coming back up. 

The students throughout the day are running around the lake, swimming in the lake, playing sports on the beach, or exploring around camp. 

People are actually behaving and not getting mad at someone when they poured water on their dry bodies, ruined their sand castles, or shoved mud in their faces. Everything is going quite well for us seniors. And the adults haven't had to make anyone leave yet, so that's good. 

When it got darker, the students went back to their cabins since it's getting cold. Levi and I are in our cabins soaking wet. "Hey, I'm going to take a shower," I tell Levi.

"Let me take one with you."

"No, I told you that you only get my upper half. No showers with until I say so."

"Fine," Levi replies with a pout.

I walk into the bathroom and lean against the wall with a sigh, slowly sliding down it so I was sitting with my knees hugged against my chest. "What am I to do? Levi is so happy. I don't want to be here anymore. He would be so much happier if I wasn't here. People have told me that before. Of course, it was as a friend, but little do they know. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be alive."

_'Then what's taking you so long? Do it already.'_

I ignore the voice and stand before turning the shower to a warm heat. I walk into the shower after waiting for it to warm up. I hum in satisfaction after the warm water hit my freezing body. I stand in the shower, thinking and it must've been a while because Levi knocks on the door. "Hey, babe? Are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Don't worry about it."

"Okay, hurry up. I feel filthy."

"Okay, okay. I'll get out soon," I hear his footsteps get further away. "God I love you," I mutter.

I turn off the water and dry myself off before wrapping the towel around my waist and opening the door to see Levi on the bed. "Took you long enough," He says before standing up and walking to the bathroom. Ten minutes later, he comes out wrapping the towel around his waist. Just like last week, I couldn't help but stare. "Aw~ You put pants on? Sad," He says with a pout.

"Sorry, I was getting cold and uncomfortable," I reply, climbing into my bed.

"Tch, that's rude."

"Sorry, get dressed, Munchkin."

I can feel him roll his eyes. "Tch, stop being my mother."

"Sorry, no can do. Get dressed."

"Fine," He replies, rustling through the drawers. It's silent until Levi climbs into my bed, his cold bare chest hitting mine. I shiver at the touch.

"What are you doing?"

"Sleeping with you."

"Fine. Goodnight Levi."

"Goodnight, Loverboy."


	19. School Trip Part 3

**(Eren's pov)**

I awake next to Levi with his head buried into the back of my neck. I try to move but Levi holds me tighter and pulls me back. "Don't leave. I'm still tired. Come back to sleep," He says tiredly.

"Well, maybe you should sleep more than 3 hours a night," I say. 

"That's not up to me."

"Levi, it is. You can fight back with your insomnia. I'm here for you. You can always wake me if you can't sleep and I'll stay up with you. We're going through everything together...no matter what."

"Really?"

"Of course."

"But why?"

"Because I love you." "Because we're together Levi. We're supposed to stick with each other through everything."

"Thank you, Eren. It means a lot."

"Anything for you, Levi." Levi slightly blushes at my comment, making him hide his face and stand up. "God you're adorable," I laugh.

"Shut up."

"Fine, let's go meet up with Armin for breakfast. Put on a shirt," I said as I was putting on my own shirt.

"What if I want to go without a shirt on?"

"Then all those girls will be over you and your sexy body."

He smirks, "So you think my body is sexy?"

My face goes a dark red, "W-well, th-that's- i-it's more like- I-" Levi chuckled then pecked me on the lips.

"You're also adorable. You're the greatest," He replies before putting on his shirt.

Levi and I join hands and make our way to breakfast. We reach the cabin and unlatch our hands. We walk in and are immediately hit with the smell of pancakes, eggs, bacon, and syrup. 

Levi and I take a big whiff and chuckle at each other before spotting Armin. He stands and waves at us. We get our food and make our way to Armin at the table he's sitting at. 

We see Jean, Reiner, and Bertholdt at the table, too. My heart instantly begins to quicken up its pace and my breathing starts to become heavier. The three smirk at me and I start to sweat and shake. "Eren? What's wrong?" Armin asks me.

"Oh, n-nothing. I'm okay," I reply, shakily sitting down with Levi to my right and Armin to my left, right across from Jean. He stares at me intensely with his piercing brown eyes. I avert my eyes away from him and look down at my food.

"What's wrong Gay Boy? Too afraid to sit with us?" Jean asks me teasingly with a smirk. I don't raise my head, but I nod it softly. "Aw~ Don't worry, we won't hurt you here."

I gulp but don't look up from my food. "Thanks," I mutter.

"You're very welcome."

The six of us sit at the table eating our breakfast. Levi and I are silent, but Armin, Bertholdt, Reiner, and Jean are all talking to each other as Levi and I hold hands under the table for reassurance. I squeeze his hand, telling him I want to go. "We're going to go out and explore. Thanks for inviting us Armin, and thank you three for entertaining us with your stupidity," Levi says as he stands up, our fingers no longer intertwined.

I chuckle. "Did you really have to say that?"

"Of course I did. They made you nervous," He smirks.

"Aw, well thank you. You're just as great as I am," I chuckled again.

When no one is in sight and we know that we aren't being watched, Levi and I link our hands together once again. Again, they fit perfectly, locking in place like a puzzle. We walk around the forest next to the lake. "Damn, look at all these big ass trees," Levi says as he looks up to them.

I chuckle. "Yeah, they're bigger to you, Shorty." He scoffs and lets go of my hand. "Wait no, Levi. I'm sorry," I reply as I reach for his hand and pulls away. I reach for his hand again but he pulls further away. "Levi!" I yell before tackling him. 

He and I are in an awkward position, my taller body is towering over his smaller one. Both my hands are on the side of his face and my right knee is in between his legs and my left knee is on the outside of his right knee. Our faces are inches apart and his hands are on my chest just in case I fall on him. His eyes are shut tightly, also just in case I fall on him, but then he opens his eyes. He slightly blushes while my face is flustered red. I quickly get up. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't know that would happen," I say. 

"No, it was fine, I'm just not used to being on the bottom," He laughs. This is only the second time I've heard him laugh, but it still makes me happy. It still sends chills down my spine. It still makes me smile. "What?" Levi asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Nothing, I just love it when you laugh."

"Oh," Was all he replies. He looks at me with a smirk.

"L-Levi, what are you-" I'm cut off by him tackling me and pinning me to the ground. We end up in the same position before, except now, Levi's lips were on mine, and I'm on the bottom. My eyes are wide open in shock, but they slowly make their way closed as I moan into the kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck and his hands are around my back. "Levi, are you hands uncomfortable?"

"Only a little."

"Here," I pull him up, putting him in my lap, "You're so small," I giggle. He glares at me and stands. "Fuck, I'm sorry Levi, I couldn't help it," I laugh.

"Yeah, whatever," He rolls his eyes before walking back to where we came from.

"Levi? Where are you going?"

"I'm going to the lake. Come with me."

I roll my eyes. "You could've at least told me that before you stood up and walked away from me."

"Yeah, I could've."

I roll my eyes but laugh before running up to Levi and grabbing his hand. He looks down to it and slightly smirks before looking back up ahead of us. We reach the lake to notice that kids are already there. 

The day today was just like the day yesterday. No bullying, no anger, everybody was happy, laughing, etc...up until the campfire later that night.

We are sitting at the campfire that the adults have made for us and we all cuddle next to others for warmth. It's me and Levi, Marco and Jean, Bertholdt and Reiner, Annie and Armin, Hanji and Erwin, and all the others cuddle up next to their friends. Miche is standing and on the lookout for any predators. We are all sitting in silence, staring at the fire. "We should play Truth or Dare!" Exclaims Hanji. (Yes, of course, it's you Hanji)

Everyone looks around to each other and reluctantly agree, not knowing what they're getting themselves into. Hanji puts a finger on her chin and looks around at the students. "Eren!" Just to my luck. "Truth or Dare!?"

"Dare," I reply. Everyone looks at me like I'm crazy taking a dare from Hanji. She can't be that bad.

Boy, I'm so wrong.


	20. School Trip Part 4

**(Eren's pov)**

"I dare you and Jean to kiss. I secretly ship you guys!" Hanji exclaims. 

Mine, Jean's, and Levi's face go pale. "Wh-what?!" The three of us call out simultaneously.

"Yeah! Do it! You have to, it's a dare!"

Jean and I groan but scoot closer to each other anyway. I look at Levi's silver-blue eyes before looking at Jean's piercing golden-brown eyes. Jean looks at Marco's soft and large light-brown eyes, before looking into my large turquoise eyes. "How long do we have to do it?" I ask.

"However long you want to."

I sigh in relief. "Thank goodness," I turn my head back to Jean who surprises me with the kiss. I jump back in surprise. "You could've at least told me!"

"I wanted to get it over with, asshole."

"Makes sense."

We both go back to our cuddle buddies and Marco whispers something to Jean that makes him blush. I snicker. "What are you snickering at?" Levi asks.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it."

"Hey, tell me."

"Yeah?"

"Did you ever have a crush on Jean?"

My face goes a dark red, "Don't worry about it."

"So you di-"

"Eren! It's your turn!" Hanji interrupts Levi.

"Oh, right. Uhm...Marco."

"Truth,” Marco says 

I slightly smirk. "How do you feel about Jean?"

The two freeze. "W-well, I would say I like him a little more than a friend."

"I knew it!" I exclaim. "You two would be cute."

"O-oh," Marco stutters. "Anyways, Levi."

"Truth,” Levi says.

"Chicken," I mutter with a smirk. He punches me in the arm, telling me to shut up.

"How do you feel about Eren?"

I tense up, however, Levi doesn't. "Isn't it obvious? I like him as way more than a friend and he feels the same so just don't ask Eren that question, thank you."

Everyone stands there in a daze like they have no clue what just happened. "Levi, you didn't have to."

"Of course I did. I didn't want them bothering you."

"Are you dating??" A few students call out.

He and I look at each other then laughed. "No, not at all," we lie.

"Why aren't you?" Jean asks with a smirk.

"I don't know, we just aren't, okay?" I reply and everyone stands confused at my change of attitude, "Sorry. We just aren't. It's not that big of a deal. Just...go, Levi."

"Fine. Eren, truth or dare," He says coldly.

"Tsk, truth," I reply although I already know what question he's going to ask.

"You already know my question now you have to answer it truthfully."

"Yes, I have been in love Jean before."

Everybody goes silent. Then everybody breaks out into laughter. "You, like me? And why would I ever reciprocate those feelings to you. Ever? You're just a useless piece of trash!" Jean says and the students around them laughed; agreeing with him. The adults are quiet, staring at my tearing up eyes before I roll my eyes and stood up, walking away from the group of teenagers.

The night went on and I sat in my cabin alone, "Of course he didn't come with me. He's probably mad at me. Why do I always fuck up everything good in my life?" I think as I sit in the corner of the cabin between my bed and the wall.

I can hear the laughter of the students gathered around the fire. I especially hear Hanji's maniacal laughs and Levi's chuckles. I could hear Levi's chuckle from miles away. They always make me so happy. How happy do I make him, though? I guess I'll never know.

_‘Tch, I can't believe you kept that from me. You liking your bully?'_ The voice inside my head speaks, disguising their regular voice as Levi's.

"Turn your voice back to normal or shut up," I say angrily.

_'Fine. I'm back to normal, happy?'_

"Yeah, sure I am."

_‘Oh, come on, Eren. Be happy.'_

"How can I be happy?"

_'You know very well what you can do.'_

"I told you, we already decided. We're sticking to that date whether you like it or not."

_'Fine. Oh, someone's coming.'_

"Wait, who? I don't hear-" I'm interrupted by the door swinging open.

"Eren?" The man speaks. I freeze, realizing who it is. I keep my mouth shut. "Come on, Eren. I want to apologize."

"I don't aceept," I mumble.

"So you are in here."

"No, I'm not."

"Eren, don't be dumb."

"Just whatever you do, don't turn on...the lights," I fade off by Levi turning on the lights. He turns his head to see me in the corner, my head in my knees.

"Eren, Babe. Please, just hear me out."

"No, Levi. You asked the question I didn't want you to ask which made everyone laugh at me!" 

"You chose truth!"

"I didn't want to take a dare from you!"

"What is that supposed to mean!?" Levi yells at me angrily.

My somewhat teary eyes, flooded with tears. I couldn't hold them any longer so I let them fall into my lap, "It doesn't mean anything...I didn't think that through."

"Do you not trust me or something!?"

"No, Levi I do...it's just-"

"-So you don't...I see," Levi replies before grabbing his jacket that he threw on his bed and walks out the door.

"Why don't you ever listen to me?," I ask quietly.

**(Levi's pov) (Haha finally)**

That little bastard. He doesn't trust me. I thought we were supposed to go through everything together. I thought we were supposed to trust each other, no matter the circumstance. Looks like I was wrong. I was going to apologize and say that I didn't care that he used to like Jean, but two can play at that game. 

I roll my eyes before going to Petra's cabin, she and I left the campfire together. I knock on her door and wait for a reply. "Oh, Levi. What are you doing here?" She asks after opening the door. She see my close to teary eyes. "Oh shit, Levi. Come inside," She says and moves from the door so I can come in.

"Thanks," I mutter.

"You can sit on Armin's bed. He won't be here for a while."

"Thanks," I mutter again.

"Talk to me," And I do. I tell her everything that happened tonight. "Maybe you should try to see his side of the story?" She suggests.

"He wouldn't listen to me so why would I listen to him?"

"Levi, you're too stubborn sometimes. Okay, do what you want. You know I can't help you because you know Eren and I don't get along well. You know we don't get along nor do we necessarily like each other."

I sigh. "Yeah, I know. I just don't know what to do. If he isn't willing to listen to me and my side of the story, then I shouldn't be willing to listen to him. Petra, you know how much I like Eren...so please, help me. I'm begging you."

"Levi, I wish I could help-"

"-What would you do in this situation?"

She thinks about it before answering. "Well, I guess I would be doing the same as you. If he isn't willing to listen, then I wouldn't be willing to listen either. I guess I know what you're talking about and what you're getting at."

"Exactly! But like, I miss him already."

"Make it into a competition."

"What do you mean?"

"Whoever talks to the other person first, loses."

"That seems a little extreme."

"Then don't do it, simple. I'm just trying to give you ideas. Didn't you tell me that he said he wanted to make things fun for you, though?"

I slightly perk my head up. "Yeah, you're right."

"Well, it doesn't look like you're having a lot of fun."

"Yeah. Thanks for the talk, Petra."

"You're welcome," She smiles.

I walk out of Petra's cabin and head back to mine. I knock on the door to let Eren know I'm here without speaking to him before opening the door. I don't get a response. "He might be ignoring me," I think. 

I open the door to see that the lights are turned back off. I lookin the corner to see that Eren isn't there anymore either. I walk to the bathroom and knock on the door just in case he's there. "Eren?" I ask and wait a couple seconds. I go to turn around, but the bathroom door opens. 

Eren looks down at me with his bloodshot eyes and then looked away, walking to his bed and putting on his shoes. I look at his arms to see that it's slightly red and puffy, but his wrist is faced away from me. "Eren," I plead. He ignores me and puts on his jacket. "Eren," This time, I'm just annoyed. He ignores me again, and walk out the door. "Shit," I mutter. I'm not going back out in that cold, sorry Eren.

**(Eren's pov)**

After Levi left, I sat in the corner and sobbed. The voice spoke to me a little, but I ignored it the best I could, heading to the bathroom after turning off the lights. I couldn't take it any longer, "If I did it, would you leave me for as long as Levi and I are in our fight?" 

_‘No promises, but it's worth a shot.'_

I shudder at the replay of words. "Fine. I'll do it."

I stand up and walk to the bathroom after going through my bag. You never know when you're going to need one. I walk in the bathroom, putting out my wrist over the sink after running the water. I haven't done this in a while...would I still be used to it? 

I put the razor to my wrist. It's cold. It's calling. Maybe the voice is right, maybe this is my coping mechanism. I press a little harder so it slightly break my skin, I winced in pain. "I guess I'm not used to this anymore." I swipes it across my skin, causing beads of blood to trickle down my wrist and into the sink. I'm so sick of being laughed at. I'm so sick of being bullied. I'm so sick of people not listening to me. I'm so sick of being the laughing stock of the school. I'm so sick of being invisible. 

_'Deeper'_

I listen to it. The next cut is deeper. Why am I doing this? Am I overreacting? I think so...but now I can't do anything about it. The damage is already done. I'm craving more. I do three more cuts, a little extreme? Maybe. I turn off the water after washing off the blood from the sink. 

I turn off the bathroom light and sit on the floor with my hands on my head. A couple minutes later, I hear a knock on the front door. I ignore it. I hear footsteps get closer to the bathroom door after flicking on the light switch. 

He stops and knocks on the door. "Eren?" It takes me a couple seconds to recollect myself and by this point, I'm crying anymore. I open the door and look down at him with my reddened eyes. I turn my head from him; afraid that I'm going to start crying again. I walk to my bed and started to put on my shoes, "Eren," Levi pleads. I ignore him. I stand and put on my jacket. "Eren," At this point, Levi sounds annoyed and impatient. I ignore him again and walk out the door. 

I walk to the woods and explore a little. I climb up a few trees and look at the view of the lake and then the cabins. This is supposed to be fun. I'm supposed to bring Levi fun. But if he won't listen to me, then I won't listen to him either. I'm not going to talk to him until he apologizes. 

It's about an hour or so when I decide to go back. Of course, I'm met by the Three Stooges, and I get a black eye. It won't be the first. I'm used to all of it anyway. I deserve all of it. 

***

I reach the cabin and walk inside. I take off my jacket, shoes, and socks and throw them down on the ground; not bothering to clean them up. Levi rustles in his bed and walks up to my bed, "Eren," He says, still annoyed. "Where were you?"

"Went out for a walk," I reply, throwing the covers over my face. Before I know it, the covers are off of me and Levi has my wrist in his hand. I wince in pain.

He turns my arm around so he can see my wrist, "Eren, what the hell!? You told me you would stop!" He pauses, touching my black eye. I flinch. "Who did this!?"

"You don't know how hard it is! Let go of me!" I ignore his last comment and I try to pull away from him but next think I know, Levi slaps me. My eyes are wide. "Levi..."

"Fuck, Eren. I didn't mean to hit you."

"You didn't mean to hit me!? How do you accidentally slap someone in the face! Leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you," My voice cracks the last sentence; it didn't want to come out of my mouth. 

He says nothing as he walks away from my bed and gets under his covers. 


	21. School Trip Part 5

**(Eren's pov)**

I wake up and turn my head towards Levi to see that he‘s already gone. I roll my eyes but get up and get dressed. I have a sweatshirt with black jeans and black converse on. 

I walk out of the cabin and to the mess hall after pulling up my hood. I walk in and the light hits me in the face, as it's still considerably dark outside. I'm hit with the smell of sausages, eggs, cheese, and other different types of vegetables. 

I feel Levi's eyes burning into my back like he was telling me to eat. I grab my food anyway but sit alone because he's sitting with Armin, Jean, Bertholdt, Reiner, and Petra.

I sit at the table and poke the breakfast casserole with my fork. I'm really not in the mood to eat anything. I stand and throw away my full plate of food and grab a glass of water; that was my breakfast. 

I walk out of the building with the feeling of Levi's eyes burning into my back still present. I walk back to the lake for a while before I see Petra and Levi come to the lake together. Levi, probably sending that I'm there, looks around the beach. Once he makes eye contact with me, I look away and walk back to our cabin.

This day is just like the last, except for me, that is. I didn't leave the cabin at all, all day. Levi occasionally came to the cabin but it was just to grab something or get changed. We didn't talk at all this day. He just stared at me all day. What in the hell is up with him? Whatever, if he's not talking to me I won't talk to him like I said last night. I need to be the bigger man...Although wouldn't that mean I have to talk to him? Tsk, like I, would do that.

It's late at night, probably at like 3 in the morning, and Levi finally gets back. He stops in the doorway to see me sitting up on my bed, slightly shaking. I see the worry in his eyes, but it quickly goes away, his stoic expression covering it up.

I turn from him and climb into my bed, trying to hold back the tears that are welling up in my eyes. Sleep slowly consumes me.

**(Levi's pov)**

I wake up to see Eren still asleep in his bed. He looks so peaceful; he always has when he sleeps. He really is a beautiful specimen. 

I get out of my bed, bringing my legs to the side of the bed before groggily standing up. I get dressed and walk out of the cabin to the mess hall. I run into Armin and Petra on the way, so I decide to eat with them with Jean, Reiner, and Bertholdt. I still don't like the three, and I don't think I ever will. 

I hear the doors open and I turn to see Eren. He's wearing black pants, black converse, and a black sweatshirt with the hood over his face. I know it's him because I can see his messy brown hair hanging out of the top. And I may have studied his body type and the way he walks. 

I stare at him all the way to the line for breakfast. He grabs the casserole and sits down alone. "Eat," I mentally demand like he can hear me. All he does is play with his food with his fork before throwing it away. "You didn't even eat it!" Instead, Eren gets a glass of water and drinks it before walking out of the mess hall. 

After Petra and I finish eating, she and I say our thanks and goodbyes to the others. We walk out of the mess hall to the lake. We don't see anyone here at first until I sense Eren. I don't know how, I just know when he's around. 

I look around to find him and see him sitting on the rocks that I pushed him off of a couple days ago. He's staring at us. He rubs his bloodshot eyes before standing up off of the rock and walking off the beach.

All day, Eren's ignoring me. He may have seemed a little scared of me, but I can't blame him. He gets abused by his father and then he gets abused by his boyfriend. God, I'm such a terrible boyfriend. Should I talk to him? No, I'm not talking to him nor am I apologizing until he talks to me first.

After I get back to our cabin, I stop in the doorway to see Eren sitting up on his bed, slightly shaking. My face is full of worry until he looks up at me and my stoic expression quickly covers it up, maybe not fast enough, though.

I stare into his eyes a little longer to see his bloodshot eyes and his tear stained cheeks before he turns away and climbs into bed, his face faced away from mine. I walk over to my bed and take off my shirt before climbing into the bed. I stay awake late once again, only getting a few hours of sleep. 

***

**(Eren's pov)**

It's been about a week now, and Levi and I still haven't made up. We only have a few days left of the trip, and we still haven't gotten out of this fight. Should I talk to him? No, I shouldn't. He needs to be the one to apologize. He made everyone laugh at me. It's his fault. I'm not apologizing. 

The days have always been the same. Wake up, Levi's gone. Pull up my hood before walking to the mess hall. Once I get there, see Levi with Jean, Armin, Bertholdt, Reiner, and Petra. Feel his eyes burning into my back. Don't eat, drink water instead. Go to the lake, then finish it off with staying in the cabin all day; moping.

Today, though, I decide to do something different. I decide to walk around outside the place, walk the roads. Honestly, I'm kind of hoping for a car to drive by and I would just 'accidentally' jump in the way of it. Too bad no one ever drives up here. 

I found some really cool woods, though. I explored in them, I made friends with a few animals, I even made a little place for me to sit in. I don't know, I might stay here for a night or two. I might do that, it'll calm me down.

**(Levi's pov)**

The past week was the same. Wake up, see he's still asleep and leave. Watch him with his pulled up hood walk into the mess hall. Stare at him. Watch him not eat anything and drink water instead. Go to the lake with Petra with Eren walking away once he saw us. Hang out with Petra and Armin in their cabin. Go to the campfire with the others. Come back late at night, see Eren, he sees me, turns away and goes to sleep.

Today, however, it's different. When I get back late at night, he's not here. I walk around to the other cabins and they say they haven't seen him at all. "Shit. Shit, shit shit shit," I mumble as I pace around the room. "Why didn't I talk to him?" I think angrily. "You're so stupid sometimes, Love. Please, come back. I miss you."

I walk to the lake, he's not there. I walk to the woods we were in last week, he's not there. I talk to Hanji, Erwin, and Miche and they say that they haven't see him walk around but they're glad to help. "Maybe he left camp?" Armin suggests as we walk around, "He likes to wander around a bit and explore more places."

"Do you really think he'll go that far?" I ask.

"Anything to find some peace and a place to think."

"How far do you think he would go?"

"I don't know, there's one way to find out."

"Do you think he would go as far as the roads?!" I ask in worry.

"Why would he go that far."

"Maybe he was hoping to get hit by a car!"

"Oh god. We need to hurry then. We don't know how long he's been out."

Armin and I run to the roads. We don't know how far up the roads he is, but we explore close first. When we don't find him, we decide to go farther up the roads. At this point, it's really late and it's getting freezing.

Eren didn't seem to be wearing anything that would protect him from cold weather like this. We find these pretty cool woods nearby and decide to check in there since he loves to climb trees. We walk a little while longer until we see Eren with one knee on the ground, hunched over and petting something.

We make a noise which makes the animal, it happened to be a coyote pup, run away. Eren turns his head to see Armin and me. He goes wide-eyed. "What are you doing here?" He asks.

"No, more importantly, what are you doing here!? I've been worried sick about you! You need to tell me when you run off somewhere!" I yell at him, my voice full of worry.

"You can't tell me what to do, Levi! You never listen to me so why should I listen to you!?" 

"Wh-what do you mean I don't listen to you!? I always listen to you!"

"No, you don't! When we got into a fight last week, you didn't even let me finish what I was going to say about not wanting to take a dare from you! I was going to tell you-"

"-That you don't actually trust-"

"-See!? There it is again! You don't listen to me! I was going to tell you that you get a little extreme on your dares, that even Hanji should be afraid of your dares. I'm not as strong as you, Levi and I never will be! I can't take dares from you, because I'm afraid!" 

I stare at Eren in shock. "You're right...I really don't listen to you. I'm sorry, but you never listen to me either."

"I do it because you never listen to me! Why would I listen to you if you never listen to me? Riddle me that," I stay silent. "Fine, I'll go back with you, just don't embrace me in any way. K?"

"K," I say quietly.

We reach back to the cabin and it's nearly morning at this point, and we both fall asleep in our separate beds. I wake up the next morning to see Eren not in his bed. "Did he really mean those words he said last night? Do I really not listen to him? I'm such a terrible boyfriend. I'm so sorry, Eren." I think. 

I get dressed and walk out of the cabin to see Eren at the lake. He'a talking to Jean, Bertholdt, and Reiner. The three look like they're picking on Eren. They are towering over him, messing up his hair, pushing him around, and saying things to Eren, then...Eren says something. 

I don't know what he says, but it causes the three to gang up on him. I run over to them and punch Jean, causing him to fall back and hold his face.

I then run to Bertholdt and punched him in the nose, breaking it. Reiner will be a little tougher since he's a bigger guy. I tackle him to the ground, luckily it's enough force to push him down to the ground and punch him in the cheekbone, causing the skin to break. "Stay away from Eren," I growl, causing the three to scurry away.

**(Eren's pov)**

Levi helps me up and I mumble an apology before walking away. "Eren wait," Levi pleads.

I turn around. "Yes?" 

"Walk with me?" I reluctantly nod my head as he takes me to the woods nearby.

We are walking in the woods in silence for a while. He glances down at my hand occasionally, but I pretend like I didn't notice. "I-I'm s-sorry," I stammer. 

"Why?" Levi asks.

"I always feel like a burden or a nuisance to you. I'm sorry about how I made you feel this past week. I'm sorry you have to keep saving my ass. I wish I could make you feel the way I feel when I'm with you. Levi, I like you a lot, as you already know, but you don't know how much."

"Then tell me, Eren. Tell me how much. I want to know."

I gulp. "Levi, you're always on my mind. You make me feel special. You make me feel wanted. You make me want to live. You're the reason why I live every day to its fullest. You're the reason why I finally started to smile again. Have you noticed how the life and light in my eyes are slowly and gradually coming back, and it's all because of you, Levi. You...you..."

"I what, Eren? I what?" Levi says as he pushes me against a tree, holding my collar in his hands.

"You...make me happy," I finish quietly.


	22. School Trip Part 6

**(Third pov)**

Levi stands on his tiptoes to capture Eren's lips in his own. He pulls away and moves down to Eren's neck, sucking on it. Eren tangles his hand in Levi's hair while he kisses his neck, not yet to find his sweet spot.

When he does, Eren moans in delight. Levi moves up and smirks into the kiss; pleased with the noise the brunette had just made.

Eren tries to keep the kiss long, heated, and passionate. Although they both know that Levi is the one controlling the kiss due to Eren's inexperience. 

The last time they did this, Levi was always in charge, but Eren made sure it never got too far. He's not used to it yet, even after all the times they've done it before, but he catches on quickly every time. 

Eren lifts the shorter male and switches their positions so Levi is now pressed against the tree. Levi wraps his legs around Eren so the brunette is in-between his thighs. Eren smiles, running his hands up and down Levi's thighs with Levi's hands around Eren's neck.

Eren moans slightly, his face growing red of embarrassment. This only turns on Levi more. Eren keeps kissing Levi, their tongues rubbing against each other; dancing out of rhythm to the silence that surrounds them.

_Snap._

Eren instantly recognizes it as the sound of a phone camera. He widens his eyes as he pulls away from Levi; ignoring the string of saliva that's keeping them connected. 

He turns his head and is met with amused and piercing golden-brown eyes. Jean stands there, waving his phone back and forth in one hand. "Well, well, well. What do we have here? You guys really are dating! How cute! Two pieces of shit, who would've thought," he smirks and turns on his heel and walked off with a smug expression, taunting Eren and Levi.

Eren looks at Levi with a worried expression on his face. He bites his lip with the voice racing through his head. 'He's mad at you. Look at the look on his face. He's going to blame you and he's going to stop talking to you. You're a freak and he knows that.' Eren wishes that's true. Then he would be able to end his life without fearing the way it would hurt Levi.

Levi looks at the scared look Eren wears. Even though he's angry at Jean, and themselves for not being careful and aware of their surroundings, he smiles. Eren's heart skips a beat, he's been longing to see Levi smile, and he finally saw it. Now, when they get back from this trip, Eren could die in peace.

Levi kisses Eren softly for a couple seconds, closing his eyes. "It's okay, Eren. I don't care if people know," Levi says as Eren's eyes widen. He takes a step back from the tree with Levi's legs still around him. Eren wrapped his arms tightly around Levi, afraid he would fall, "Me neither," Eren lies. He feels guilty for lying, but he wants him to be happy.

Levi presses his lips against Eren's and run his hand through his chocolate brown hair a couple times. "I don't care if we get laughed at, bullied, made fun of, I just want us to go through it together. I'm...happy with you," Levi whispers while he chews on his bottom lip. He's proud of himself that he opened up to Eren. Even if it was just a little.

A smile is plastered on Eren's face as his cheeks are burning red. "I'm glad you're happy," Eren says quietly as their embraces tightened.

Levi whispers in Eren's ear. "Well...Since we only have so much time left before everyone will have their eyes on us, we should spend that time wisely," He smirks as he rubs his hand along Eren's shoulder.

The taller teen nods and blushes intensely. Levi carries Eren to a clearing behind some trees and bushes, making sure they won't get caught. He lowers Eren down, kissing him as his small body towers over Eren's larger one.

Eren wraps his arms around Levi's neck with all the passion, lust, and love he could, as this could be the last sensual moment they share together. Eren smiles slightly as Levi presses himself against the hard brunette.

Levi smirks, continuing to kiss Eren until he feels something on his back. It's wet. There's another. Then another. Then another. "For fucks sake," Levi mutters against Eren's lips. He pulls away from Eren and stands. "Sorry, filthy brat, I'm not excited for this weather. I wanted to keep going. I don't like the rain," He says while chuckling, looking at Eren with a smirk.

Eren gives Levi an unamused look and stands. "Neither do I, Clean Freak," Eren says as Levi intertwines their fingers.

"Don't call me that," Levi says as he takes Eren back to their cabin.

Eren sighs and stays close to Levi as he pulls up his hood, shielding him from the rain. "Well...it was nice while it lasted," Eren mutters, looking up at the sky.

"Mmhm, the weather is so unpredictable," Levi says as he shakes his head in disapproval.

"I was talking about us, Levi..."

"Oh," he says looking at the ground, not wanting to look up at Eren. "So...you're saying...?"

"No no no nononono!" Eren erratically says as he whips his head towards Levi with widened eyes. "Not like that! I was meaning that people wouldn't know about us! No, Levi, uggghh~," He rolls his eyes as he stops walking so he could pull Levi's collar up so he could smash their lips together. He kisses them for a couple seconds before pulling away. Eren's grasp is tight on Levi's wrist. "I...I love you."

Levi's eyes widen at the words. _"Did he actually say the L word?"_ Levi thinks, his cheeks a fair pink, only somewhat from embarrassment. "I thought that you meant that this, us, was only temporary, like it only lasted that month," He starts to walk again. 

He sighs, his hand gripping Eren's as the cabins come into view. Levi marches himself closer to their cabin. A few people stare at them in amusement. They probably saw the picture. Hell, even Levi wants to see it.

However, Eren is walking quickly with his head down at the ground as he holds Levi's hand like his life depends on it. Levi felt guilty. This isn't the first time people have been giving him mocking looks and he's still scared. Once they reach their one bedroom cabin, they run inside just in time to hear some thunder in the background.

Levi walks over to his bed as he sits down and starts to take his shoes off. He neatly puts them away as he stretches and falls onto the bed, landing on his back. He's staring at the ceiling, listening to the rain drops hit the wood. "tch, ain't this fun," he says sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he hears more thunder.

However, Eren quickly walks to his bed and kicks off his shoes as he dives under the covers. "Mmph," he groans, covering his ears as the thunder roars.

Levi's eyebrows furrow and sits back up, looking at Eren. "You okay?" He asks.

"S-Sorry, I just don't like thunder," Eren quietly replies as he stares intensely at the wall. He clutches his messy brown hair in his hands and slightly pulls at it.

Levi sighs and stands as he makes his way to Eren's bed and sits on the edge. He puts a hand on his shoulder. "It won't hurt you, brat," He says, attempting to be comforting.

Eren rolls his eyes, finally looking up to the ravenette. "Leave me alone, damnit," he whispers, trying to glare at Levi.

Levi frowns and pulls Eren into a sitting position. "I want to help you," He doesn't release his grip on Eren.

Eren narrows his eyes and is about to pull away when the thunder roars again with the howling of the strong wind. Eren yelps in surprise. He covers his mouth to hide any more sounds that escapes his mouth before quickly wrapping his arms around Levi, burying his head into the crook of Levi's neck.

Levi smirks, despite being worried, and tightens his grasp, rubbing the back of Eren's head. "It's okay, Babe. I'm here. I've got you. I'm here," Levi whispers to Eren.

Eren nods his head and crawls closer to Levi so they are tightly pressed together. "P-please, m-make it s-stop," Eren stutters, looking up at Levi.

Levi sighs, looking back down at him. "I'm sorry. I wish I could. I'm so sorry," He says as he pulls the curtains to the side; wanting to know what it looks like. He holds Eren with one arm close to his body.

Outside is a shitwreck. It's raining like crazy, the sky is pitch black that occasionally lights up due to the lightning, and loud noises caused by the thunder. Trees violently sway back and forth, caused by the strong winds. It looks like it was out of a little kids nightmare.

Levi's eyes widen as he lets go of the curtain, sitting against the wall. Eren's breath quickens. He whimpers into Levi's neck. "It's okay. It's all going to be okay. I'm here," Levi whispers to Eren, trying to reassure him.

Levi sighs, kissing the top of Eren's head gently. Eren's whole body shakes along with the rest of their cabin as they hear a particular crash.

**(Levi's pov)**

A loud crash is heard from outside, along with a scream. More like a cry for help, really. My eyes widen and I gently kiss Eren on the top of the head before standing, unlatching myself from him and approaching the window

Eren wears a confused look on his face as he looks at me. "Levi, what's happening?" Eren asks me, nervously clenching to the bedsheets. I can tell he really does not want to hear what I'm going to say.

My eyes squint for a moment, trying to make out what's going on. "There's a tree...it's fallen on top of a cabin," I reply nervously, glancing over at Eren.

Eren stands up before walking to the window and looks out of it. "Damn, I hope no one got hurt. Who's cabin is it anyways? If we're 1C and that cabin is to the left..." "Armin and Petra!" I yell, backing away from the window. I turn around before sprinting out the door, not even caring about the disastrous weather. "Petra!"

**(Eren's pov)**

I'm shocked, to say the least. I look through the window and frown, running after Levi. "no no no no no," I chant. I wince as the heavy wind and rain smack against my skin violently. I hiss and keep chasing after a levi. He's fast. He eventually reaches the cabin...or at last what's left of it, but I fall far behind, scared shitless.

**(Levi's pov)**

I climb inside the cabin ruins. I stop and look around as my eyes widen at the scene. My heart aches in my chest. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I hold back my tears and swallow the lump in my throat. In front of me is a boy and a girl. One has a larger piece of wood impaled into their side. Petra. 

Armin is kneeling by her side, tears extracting from his eyes. "It's okay, Petra...everything is going to be okay," he whispers.

I quickly make my way across the room, crawling over to a half lifeless petra. She isn't the happy nor cheerful Petra that we all know of. This Petra was going through hell. She was miserable. Blood gushes from her side. Blood pours from her mouth down to her chin, dripping off her chin and hitting her collarbone.

**(Eren's pov)**

I run into the ruins of the cabin not long after Levi does. My jaw falls to the floor. A wave of relief comes over me when I see that Armin was okay. It only slightly goes away when I see Petra. I was mainly upset to see Levi the way he is. Petra and I didn't necessarily get along. We never saw eye to eye, but she got close to Levi. I think a little too close.

I quietly make my way to Levi. He feels my presence and clutches onto my hand. "Petra, please be okay! Promise me you'll be okay!?" Levi yells. He knows that she isn't going to survive this. She's weak and fragile and she was losing a shit ton of blood. "Go get help! Eren g-go get help!" Levi demands, not taking his handsome silver eyes off Petra. Armin brushes Petra's hair out of her face, more tears coming from his bright blue eyes. "I'm so sorry I couldn't save you. I'm sorry," He trembles. I hate seeing him like this. This isn't Armin.

**(Third pov)**

Petra is still and silent. She is right on deaths step, the door waiting to be opened. Her eyes flick over to Armin, then to Levi. She isn't even strong enough to say goodbye. She foes the even try to squeeze Levi's hand, or even speak. All she can do was lie there, watch her best friend, whom is the one she loves, and Armin cry over her. No goodbyes.

Levi starts to cry more as he sees Petra's eyes slowly start to close. "Stay with us, Peta. Please, you're my best friend. I can't lose you. Petra...I need you," He says quietly, crying into her hand.

***

Eren leaves the cabin trying to find to the adults' cabin. He sways from side to side and cupped his hands, using them like binoculars, flinching whenever thunder went off. He feels a hand on his shoulder that forced him to turn around, seeing three people he doesn't want to see: Jean, Reiner, and Bertholdt. Jean and his two friends surround Eren, smirking. "Why you crying, Jaeger? Was Levi too rough on you?"

"You're honestly such a wuss."

"Why are you still on this earth?"

Eren is still trying to keep balance, the wind practically blowing him away, "L-Leave me alone! Seriously! I-It's Petra!" He screams over to storm, squeezing his eyes shut.

Jean rolls his eyes and sends Eren a glare. "Who cares about her?" he yells as he laughs, looking at Bertholdt and Reiner. He shoves Eren back when he tries to walk past them.

Eren has to lie. "I do! Lots of people do! I know you don't like her, but I do! She has a family!" Eren grits his teeth and opens his eyes. "Let me go, Asshole!"

"I don't think we will," Reiner replies, crossing his arms, staring down at Eren.

"He told you to move," A voice from behind them yells, sounding pissed.

"Fuck," the three teens mutter as they look from Erwin to each other.

Eren widens his eyes and runs past the three, stopping in front of their principal. "Erwin! It's Petra she's-" 

Erwin interrupts Eren, "-Yes, we know, Eren. Armin told us a while ago."

Eren furrows his eyebrows. "B-but the tree only fell down a moment ago," Eren says still crying.

"Petra was sadly hurt a while before the tree fell. When the weather started to get bad, the back of their cabin came crashing down. That's what badly hurt her," Erwin says, sighing deeply.

Eren's eyes widen. "B-but how!?" He yells over the wind, his fists clenched.

The blond shakes his head, taking Eren to the larger cabin. "We've gathered everyone else inside. We split up the girls and the boys since it's basically even. It'll be easier to take care of everybody. Miche and I will be looked after the boys, and Hanji will be looking after the girls."

Eren is barely listening to him. He stares at the ground. "Are the police coming to get us?" He blurts out, opening the door to the cabin and stepping inside.

"I've called the police. Just sit down and worry about yourself for now," Erwin orders, looking at Eren. "Are you okay?" He asks, looking around for Miche.

"I guess," Eren mumbles, he darts his eyes across the room before seeing the ravenette in the corner, hugging his knees. He walks over to Levi, kneeling beside him. He knows not to say anything so he quietly leans against Levi. 

He glances up seeing Jean, Reiner, and Bertholdt walk in. He hates the atmosphere, it's full of worry and it made Eren feel sick. His mind trails off to Petra, tears forming in his eyes. He's surprised he still has more tears, especially if they're for Petra. 

He puts his hands over his face, the beautiful strawberry blonde haired girl coming to his mind. Petra was so kind and generous. She really didn't deserve anything like this. But now...she's gone.

**(Levi's pov)**

I look at Eren, frowning slightly. I wrap an arm around him, pulling him closer as he stares blankly at the ground. "how do you feel?" I whisper.

He finally looks up to me. "Sick," He replies quietly as he stuffs his face back into his hands. I pull his hands away as he bites his lip to hold back a sob. Eren rubs his eyes and sniffles.

I sigh and nod, kissing his temple. "Please, tell me this is a dream. Tell me it's all a dream. Tomorrow, I'm going to wake up in my bed and Petra will be alive, happy, and well. She will be alive. Tell me this isn't true!" I cry, my hands shaking. 

Eren looks at me sadly and wrapped his arms tightly around me. I bury my head into Eren's shoulder, shaking my head. He plays with my hair, hearing his sobs get louder. I look up from his shoulder.

Most of the people look over at us and frown, giving us sympathetic looks. I glare at them and they turn away. I quickly go back to comforting Eren and he does the same back.

***

**(Eren's pov)**

I continue to comfort Levi, rubbing his back and giving him a shoulder to cry on. I can't watch Levi suffer like this. I wish I can do something, but I can't. All I can do is watch...I'm so sorry, Levi. 

I gently lay him against the wall when I hear his breathing calm down. He also isn't tightly clinging to me anymore so I assume he fell asleep which is good. This Insomniac Bastard needs his sleep.


	23. School Trip Part 7

**(Eren's pov)**

I have to admit, I myself, am tired. No...exhausted, but I can't seem to fall asleep. Now I know how you feel, Levi. I am so so sorry. 

I put my head on Levi's chest, feeling it rise when he breathed. I listen closely to his heartbeat, my eyes gradually closing shut to try to get some sleep, _"Goddamnit,"_ I think. I can't sleep. There's no helping it. I try to block everyone and everything out of my head, but of course, this damn voice always somehow breaks through.

_'Tch, you're worthless...brat.'_

_"I've already told you not to use Levi's voice. Stop it."_

_'Fine, you worthless faggot.'_ I roll my eyes as the voice makes it Jean's. _'What? You told me to change it. No one wants you here. You're a burden to everyone. You're such a nuisance. Too bad there isn't something we could use. You would be able to meet with your mother again. You can finally be happy. You can finally be free.'_ My eyes shoot open, _'Ah, so you're intrigued. Very well. Your mother misses you, very much. She didn't blame you for everything. I'll tell you the truth later. She wasn't the one who killed herself. There's more to it. It's nothing you mere humans can understand.'_

I start to cry. _"You can't be serious. You've told me multiple times that I'm the one that killed my mother. That I'm the monster._ "

_‘Ah, but that's where you're wrong. You just assumed I meant your mother. You didn't kill her at all. It wasn't your fault, Eren.'_

My eyes widen and by this point, I'm sobbing quietly. This is the first time the voice has used my name. _"What happened to my mother?"_

_'I am afraid I cannot tell you that. My duty is to find and convince. I can only tell you the truth when you decide to take your own life.'_

_"I already told you...I'm taking my own life when we get back. I already gave Kenny the letter and told him to give it to Levi the day after we get back. That, is when I am ending my very own life."_

_'Very well. You're a good kid. Farewell for now then.'_ And with that, the voice vanishes.

***

**(Third pov)**

On the other side of the room, Erwin stands with a phone—the only phone they have—in his hands, "What do you mean you can't get through!? Someone is dying!" He yells. Erwin hasn't felt this stressed out in a while. 

"I'm very sorry sir, but trees have fallen on the roads and are in our way. No one has any idea how we can get to you. They can barely recognize the roads in this conditio-" Erwin pulls away the phone and slams the 'End Call' button with his finger. "Jesus Christ!" He yells, not caring that people are watching. No one has ever seen Erwin like this before. They aren't used to it. 

Miche frowns and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Calm down, this isn't your fault. Hanji is treating Petra. She's going to be okay. We all are," He moved his hand off of his shoulder, "Just take a deep breath," He finishes. 

Erwin turns around and surprisingly takes Miche into an embrace. Erwin mumbles an apology. Miche opens his mouth to tell Erwin that it's okay when he feels a tap on his shoulder. He looks down, seeing Armin. "Is everything okay?" He asks softly. 

Erwin hums in confusion and turns his head, glancing down to Armin. "Armin?" He asks questioningly. 

Armin sighs, looking to the floor. "Take me to Petra. I want to make sure she's okay. Please!" Armin pleads, finally looking up to the taller males. 

Erwin thinks for a moment. "Well, right now, Hanji is trying to help her. We can't get an ambulance and she's the best we got. She's quite good actually. Petra's in good hands, okay?" Erwin smiles a small smile. "Also, don't tell any of the other kids. We don't want to give them false hope. Don't mention the blocked roads either," Erwin finishes. 

Armin shakes his head. "I won't. Just let me see her. I saw it happen," He says, looking back to the ground. 

"Very well," Erwin says to the shorter blond and walks towards the door putting his hood up along with Armin's. "Get ready. The storm is getting worse," he informs before opening the door. 

Armin nods and follows him into the terrifying storm. They see a cabin with a light coming from the window. Armin takes a deep breath as he follows Erwin to that very cabin. 

He knocks on the door before opening it, pulling Armin in and slamming the door shut. Hanji is knelt by Petra holding a spoon with a mysterious dark liquid in it. She feeds it to Petra as she rubs her sweaty forehead with her forearm, putting down the spoon. "This should ease your pain," She explains. 

Armin freezes. "P-Petra?" He whispers before heading towards the bed. The strawberry blonde haired female lay in the bed, swallowing the medicine. She has a massive bandage around her side. Her face is even more pale than usual. Her eyes are dull and almost lifeless. She looks at Armin and gives a small smile. So so small, yet still there. 

"Petra! Thank goodness!" Armin cries. "Y-you're okay...you're really okay," He mutters, looking down to the female. "Thank god," he sobs, holding her hand. She wants to speak up, but will cough up blood in the process. She has a lot of things injected in her, she feels like she's going through hell. 

Hanji idly stands by, a small smile on her face. "Be careful, Armin. She's in a lot of pain, we can't-" Hanji is cut off by Armin lunging at her, giving her a bear hug. He holds her tightly with tears falling from his big, blue eyes. "Thank you. You saved her," he shouts, tightening her grip on her. "Y-you're amazing," He whispers as he slightly shakes. 

Hanji smiles. "Aw~ it's okay...Hey, calm down," Hanji says as she glances over to Erwin. He shrugges. "Armin, please don't cry, you need to stay strong," She says quietly to the boy. 

"Sorry," Armin takes a step back, wiping his nose and face. "I'm just really happy," He smiles. He looks back to Petra. "I-I can't wait to tell the others. They'll be so happy."

"You're not telling them. We won't say anything. We don't want to overwhelm her," Erwin whispers, "Plus, if the police think she's dead or dying, they may try harder to find us. We'll see if the weather has approved in the morning. If so, we may go out and look for the police," Erwin says to Petra. Hanji shakes her head in disapproval. 

Armin sighs, looking over to Erwin. "Can we at least tell Levi and Eren, please? I hate seeing them so miserable," He admits. 

Erwin sighs. "Sure, go get them. I'll stay to look after you guys."

Armin smiles and runs out of the cabin, yelling a "thank you!"

***

Armin runs to the cabin, covering his face with his arm. He swings the door open and quickly makes his way to Levi and Eren. He see that Eren is still awake. Eren sees Armin come up and sends him a relieved look. "Hey, I need to show you something. Do you think you can wake up Levi?" 

Eren wears a confused look as Levi's eyes open. "Hngh~ Have the cops come yet?" Levi mutters tiredly. 

"No, just come on," Armin says as he puts a hand out for Eren to take. Eren reluctantly games it, pulling Levi up after he got to his feet. 

"Oi, Armin!? Where are you taking us?! What do you want!?" Levi asks as he stays close to Eren for warmth. Levi feels an arm go around him and puts his arm around Eren's waist as they walk. 

**(Eren's pov)**

Armin sighs when we reach the cabin. "Just calm down, Levi," He yells before swinging the door open and shoving them inside. 

Levi looks around the room extremely confused. He glances to me first and noticed I was also confused because we both shrugged. He glanced to Hanji, and then Armin, and then Erwin, and then... "Petra!?" Levi shouts as he runs to her bed, kneeling down next to her head as he holds her small, cold and weak hand. "Petra...I can't believe it. You're okay," He mutters with a massive smile on his face. 

Something inside me squeezes as I see him smile towards Petra. It's genuine. I didn't even get one like that earlier, plus it looked forced. Damnit! 

_'He's playing with you! Are you this oblivious!? It's so obvious! They're going to kiss. They're going to confess their love. You know this is true. Deep down you know it's the truth but you're in denial. He doesn't care about you!'_

_"No. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!"_ "Shut up!!" Everyone whips their heads towards me as I hold my hair, pulling at it slightly. I realize I said it aloud and my eyes widen before I mutter a "sorry" and quickly walk back to the lodge. 

_'So you finally snapped. Took you long enough. It's been eight years. Our bond is finally complete,’_ it laughs. 

**(Levi's pov)**

Eren runs out of the cabin and I stand to go after him when Petra grabs my wrist, "P-pl.ea.se.. ...s-st...ay..." She barely manages to spit out. 

I can't do anything. I have to be here for her. What the hell happened to him though? What was going on in his head? I shake my head to get these thoughts out of my head. _"Happy thoughts. You're done with the negative thoughts,"_ I think. 

We all sit and stare at Petra. She really is a girl. Her soft and silky strawberry blonde hair. Her big and beautiful brown eyes can captivate whoever she wanted. We must've been talking for at least 10-20 minutes because everyone around us, are drifting off to sleep. It's just Petra and I in our own little world. "L...Le..vi..." she manages to say. "I.....w-want ..t-to t-tell.....y-y...ou s—ome.....th....in...g."

"Yes?"

"I....I l-lo...ve y-yo....you."

I sit there wide eyed, "Petra, I-" My eyes widen and I feel a hand on the back of my head. My head gets forced down and my lips are forced upon hers as I hear the door swing open.


	24. School Trip Part 8 (Final)

**(Levi's pov)**

I separate mine and Petra's lips and turn towards the door. My eyes widen once I see it's Eren. His fists are clenched and his jaw is clenched. He's looking down at the floor so I can't see his eyes, but I can feel his angry aura. Tears fall from his eyes and hit the wooden floor. "It was right," He mutters through sobs.

It? "Eren, what's It?"

Eren starts to laugh. "It was right! You were just playing with me!" Eren says as he laughs psychotically. 

I step closer which snaps Eren out of whatever type of psychotic thing he was in. His laughs change to sobs, his angry aura changes sad, his clenched fist relaxed. 

Eren puts one hand on his forehead, lifting his hair out of his face. He lifts up his head for me to see his turquoise eyes lost of color. Lost in life. There is nothing left in them. They are dark.

"E-Eren? What are you talking about?! C-calm down," I stutter, putting a hand out to touch his cheek to wipe away his tears. 

He swats my hand away. "Leave me alone!" Eren yells before running out of the cabin. Everyone else os awake at this point, so they all yell out to Eren for him to not go outside. He ignores them and sprints out into the storm.

**(Eren's pov)**

I'm sitting in the corner of the other cabin, contemplating whether I should go back and apologize. It's late, so I thought everyone would be asleep, but I decide on it anyways. 

I walk slowly through the storm, covering my face with my forearm. When I arrived at the cabin, I hear muffled voices. _"Oh, they're awake,"_ I think. 

My hand is going towards the door handle but it stops once I hear whom the voices belonged to: Petra and Levi. So they're the only ones awake. It's very faint, and she's struggling, but Petra confesses her love. 

I wait for Levi to reply...hoping that he would say something about me, but I hear him say her name and it goes silent. I swing open the door in anger, seeing Levi's lips on Petra's. 

He separates their lips and turns towards me, or at least I think so. I'm staring at the ground trying to hold back my tears. My jaw is clenched and my fists are clenched in anger. "Told you so. I was right. You should just always listen to me.' I can't hold back my tears as they fall from my eyes to the wooden floor. I start to laugh. "It was right," I mutter through sobs. 

"Eren, what's it? Talk to me," He trues to reply soothingly. 

I laugh at the fact that the voice was actually right. "It was right! You were just playing with me!" I then start to laugh like a psychopath. 

I hear Levi's footsteps walk toward me and I snap out of it. I rest my jaw, I unclench fist, my angry aura turns sad, and my laughter changes to sobs. 

I put a hand on my forehead before I raise my head, showing my lifeless eyes. The life that Levi had once brought back into them, is gone once again. Who knew that he would be the one to take them out again? I can't see them personally, but I feel the way they turned dull, dark, the way there is no hope left in them. 

"E-Eren? What are you talking about?! C-calm down," Levi stutters, putting a hand out to touch my cheek to wipe away my tears.

I swat his hand away. "Leave me alone!" I yell before sprinting out of the cabin and head towards the woods. Once I run into the woods, I know there's no turning back.

_'You should've know. A piece of trash like you? You were lucky that Levi even played you that long. I think you underestimate how unloved you truly are.'_

"Shut up."

_'You know it's true. Stop lying to yourself. You saw it with your own eyes. He was just playing with you. You're not good enough for him. You never were. You are nothing to him.'_

"Shut up."

_'Stop blocking me out. I'm all you have.'_

I slow down my running. 

_'You're alone again.'_

I collapse.

_'Should we reschedule it? How about tonight. There's no use for you to stay until then.'_

"Sure, why not?"

I stand and run to the lake. I stand in the lake, the water up to my knees. I know there's a drop off right in front of me. I really can't take this any longer. The voice is right, I am alone again...but was I ever not alone? Did I really have someone? Was Levi really there for me? 

I walk forward, falling into the lake.

**(Levi's pov)**

I run out of the cabin into the storm, the rain has died down a bit, but the wind still blows violently. I yell Eren's name but get no reply. For a second, I really thought Petra was my best friend. She knows the way I feel about Eren, she knows I don't like her like that. She deceived me. She's stronger than we all thought. She was strong enough to force my lips upon hers. 

I'm about 15 minutes through and the rain completely stops, yet the wind sill blows lightly. I walk onto the beach to see Eren sitting on the shore. I walk over to him and notice he's freezing. He's shaking, his teeth are chattering, and he hugs his body tightly for warmth.

I sit next to him and he flinches once I put an arm around him form warmth. "Get your arm off me," He mutters, slightly scooting away from me. 

"You're freezing, you're going to catch a cold," I respond, pulling him closer to me. 

"I don't need you."

"But you do."

"I don't, Levi. You hurt me."

"It wasn't my fault, Eren. Did you see my eyes closed when my lips were on Petra's?" He shakes his head, "Because I didn't want to kiss her."

"But why? She's beautiful, she's smart, she's a girl, she doesn't get bullied, she's not suicidal, she's not anorexic, she doesn't cut, she doesn't have depression, she is fun to be around, and she has an amazing personality."

"Eren, she's not you. I love all of your flaws, I love all of your dislikes, likes, I love being with you, Eren. I love you."

Eren's eyes widen. "You...you do?"

"Of course I do. I was going to tell Petra that. These were going to be my words, 'Petra, I don't feel the same way about you. I don't know how to put this lightly, I love Eren. I'm sure you've caught on by now, but I never thought of you that way. I always thought of you as my best friend, nothing more. I love Eren. I'm sorry.' But I never got the chance to tell her that because she forced my head down so our lips met."

Eren's eyes are filled with tears. "I'm so sorry I didn't believe you. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," He repeats, stuffing his face with his hands, his tears flooding his face. 

"Hey, it's okay, Eren."

"I love you. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Eren. I love you too. Now, let's please go back, Eren. People are worried sick."

"You're right," He gives me a peck on the cheek and stands, our fingers intertwined. The natural feeling coming back to me. I really do love Eren. I never thought I would use that word again. But, here I am. I'm glad I'm using it on him and not someone else. 

We're walking in silence to the cabin. It looks like Eren is bothered by something, but I decide not to bother him more with a question.

We arrive back at the cabin and walk inside. Eren is immediately met with a bear hug from Armin, "Eren! I was so worried! Why did you just run off like that!?" Armin yells at him. 

"I'm sorry, Armin. I wasn't thinking and I was hurt. I ran off without thinking. I didn't mean for you," Eren pauses, looking at the others one by one. "Or any of you guys. I'm really sorry. Except you, Petra. I'm not sorry." 

Everyone stands confused. "Neither do I, Petra," I say, giving her a cold glare. 

Everyone just gets even more confused. "What do you mean? Don't you see the state she's in?!" Armin slightly yells. 

"Yeah, but she's stronger than you think. I'll explain everything to you guys later. I think the cops are here."

Everyone reluctantly nods their heads before hearing a knock at the door. We open it to see the police and ambulance with a gurney. They put Petra on the gurney after asking us a couple of questions. They mainly interrogated Armin, because he shared a cabin with her. 

Eren and I are in the back of he police car. All the students are in the police cars getting interrogated as we make our way back to the school. The policemen don't ask me and Eren any more questions since they asked us a lot at the cabin. 

It's morning time by the time we get back, but Eren and I are wide awake, our fingers intertwined. Eren plays with my fingers nervously. "Hey, I didn't want to ask you this earlier because I didn't know how you would take it if I asked you...but, what's up? You seem nervous about something," I ask. 

Eren tenses and his grips on my hand tightens. "Nothing. I'm fine."

"Eren, I know when pure lying to me. Is it because of Petra?"

**(Eren's pov)**

I slightly relax, not wanting Levi to know the true reason. "Yeah."

"Okay."

The rest of the car ride is silent. Levi and I don't talk, all we do is embrace. We finally arrive at the school. Everyone is silent. No one is talking. The suspense is killing everyone who doesn't know that Petra is okay. I hate it. I don't like to be around all these sad and fake people. People who pretend to be friends with Petra. I hate it. I hate it all. I can't wait to be rid of this fucked up world. 

After we're allowed to leave, I walk Levi home. I spend a little time at Levi's house, and mouth, "Don't give that letter until tomorrow. I'm trusting you." To Kenny and he nods softly so Levi doesn't notice. 

It's time for me to leave, and Levi gives me a kiss goodnight. I, however, take it as a kiss goodbye, "Goodnight, Eren," Levi calmly says. 

"Goodbye, Levi," I reply before walking out my door. 


	25. Chapter 25

**(Eren's pov)**

I awake and sit on my bed, hands on my face. Tears are already dwelling in my eyes. This is it. My last hour. You know, I'm happier than I thought I would be to get this life over with. Jean and his friends made sure this life was a living hell. I don't know how Levi is going to react this, nor the note. I didn't put much on there. He might not know what I'm trying to say. 

I walk out of my house, not bothering to leave a note to my abusive dad and his abusive girlfriend. They won't care anyways. If I thought that week and a half was good without them, being rid of them for good must be amazing as hell. 

I start to walk to the bridge, my favorite bridge to go to. I told Levi about all the times I've gone there to think, and how many times I've wanted to end it while walking on it. It's also the bridge where I met Jean...well, after the first day of school. We never got along, until we met at this bridge. 

We were only four at the time, but we still connected. We were both walking with our mothers, hand in hand. We talked about how much we love coming to this bridge with our mothers. We talked about how much we love the water and the way it sparkles in the sunlight. We talked about so many things that we had in common. That, is how we got so close. We were best friends until Junior year. 

I don't know what happened to us. I miss him. I know he's never going to be friends with me again. He hates me. I don't know what I did, but I know for sure that it's my fault. Everything's my fault. I can't do anything right. I do everything wrong. I really am...just a piece of shit.

I miss Mikasa, too. Maybe I should go visit her. She's at Armin's and his house is on the way to the bridge, so I should stop by. 

***

I reach Armin's house and timidly knock on the door. "Hey, Eren. I never would've thought you would come here," Armin says after opening the door. 

"Yeah, I just wanted to visit Mikasa," I respond. 

"Come right in. She's on the couch," Armin moves out of the way, letting me in. 

"Thank you."

Mikasa perks her head up after hearing my voice. "Eren!" She cries, standing up and pulling me into a hug. 

I carefully put my arms around her waist. "I just wanted to see if you were okay," I tiredly smile. 

"Eren, are you okay? You look tired and your eyes are bloodshot."

"Yeah, Mikasa. I'm okay. There's no need to-"

"-Did Levi do something to you!? If he did I can kill him for you."

"No, Mikasa. Levi didn't do anything. We're alive and happy," I look at Armin and give him a thanking look that he didn't tell Mikasa about the thing with Levi. He nods his head. 

"Okay, good. I missed you, Eren."

“I know, I missed you too. But hey, what happened to you and Jean?"

"Nothing. We broke up, that's all."

"You never told me?"

"I thought you hated me."

"And why would I hate my sister?"

"I don't know. Maybe because I was dating your ex-best friend."

"Why were you dating him anyway?"

"I don't know. I thought I liked him but it never worked out."

"Is it because he's bisexual?"

She laughs. "No, we just...didn't really work out. I'm actually kinda surprised you found that out."

"Nah, it was simple. Jean is an easy person to see through. And...you know how well I knew him."

"Yeah...I did."

"By the way, do you know why he started bullying me?"

"Sadly, he never told me. I asked him and every time I did, he gave me a different excuse."

I faintly laugh. "He's still as dumb as usual...Hey, I should go. I'm meeting up with Levi."

"Alright, love you, Eren," She says before kissing me on the cheek. 

"Love you too, Kasa."

I give Armin a hug and thank him before walking out the door. I start waking to the bridge, my thoughts flooding my brain again and soon, the voice appears

_‘Ah, Todays the day. Finally.'_

"Yeah. Happy?"

_'Of course I am. I can tell you the truth now.'_

"Can't you tell me right now? I'll be going with it anyways."

_'I already told you, it'll be while you're doing it.'_

"Tsk, fine."

I reach the bridge and stand on the edge. I take a deep breath. _'I'm proud of you.'_ "Here goes nothing." We say simultaneously. 

**(Levi's pov)**

I wake up a little late this next morning my mind flooded with thoughts. What was up with Eren yesterday? Why didn't he spend the night? Why did he leave so early? Is he still mad at me? What did I do? What is he going to do? 

I groggily walk out of my room. "Oi, kid. Eren wanted me to give you this letter," Kenny says as he handed me the letter. 

My thoughts wander off to the one thing I don't want it to be. I quickly push that to the back of my mind, not wanting it to be true. I quickly. "Levi, my best friend, my boyfriend, my one love, my short clean freak, I'm sorry I've been such a burden to you. 

I love you...so much. I can't explain it in words. I love you."

I quickly stand off the chair I'm sitting on. I grab my shoes and put on a shirt before running out of the house. I run to his house and quickly swing open the door. Grisha and his girlfriend are asleep on the couch. 

I run up to Eren's room to see that it's a mess, messier than usual, and that his bed is unmade, that never happens. I run into the bathroom to see that it's dirty. "shit," I mutter before running back down the stairs and out the door. 

My eyes widen when I remember that he told me about a bridge. I sprint to the bridge to see Eren standing on the edge. Tears flood his face. He's wearing the clothes I bought him.

He slightly leans forward and I sprint down the bridge trying to reach him, luckily I reach him in time. I grab his waist and pull him back onto the flat part of the bridge. Tears flood my face as I cradle the boy. 

**(Eren's pov)**

I walk a little closer. I lean forward and close my eyes, ready to lean off of it when I feel two strong arms wrap around my waist. I hear the stranger's sobs. I open my eyes to see Levi, cradling me in his arms, sobbing. "L-Levi?" I stuttered. 

"Asshole!! Asshole!! Why would you do something like this!? Look at me," He yells. I don't look, "Look at me!" He demands. I turn my head towards him. "Why would you do such a thing? Eren, why would you do that. Please, tell me."

"I didn't want to live anymore," I answer quietly. 

"Give me your hand."

"Levi, I didn't-"

"-Give me your hand!" I quickly give him my hand, and he puts it against the left side of my chest. "Do you feel that? That is your heart beat. Appreciate it. It's there everyday to keep you alive. It's beating for you. It's going you a purpose. You're alive for a reason," Levi sobs. 

My eyes widen. "But Levi-"

"-No buts, Eren. You don't know how much I love you. I thought I would never experience that word again, but when you said that to me yesterday, I never stopped thinking about it. It never left my head. I didn't brush it off. It was because I love you. I am in love with that smile you give me everyday. The first day we met, you gave me a smile, but I knew it was fake because I, have once faked my smile. I am in love with your voice. I almost swoon every time I hear your voice. It calms the most rampant storm inside of me. I am in love with your body. Every touch, every embrace, every sensual moment we have together, sends tingles down my spine. I am in love with-"

"-I get it-"

"-No! Let me finish, let me get it into that thick skull of yours. I am in love with your laugh. The fake laugh that you used to give me. It evolved. First you would snicker, and then you went to a giggle, and then you chuckled, and then you laughed. I am in love with your eyes. The way they shine brightly when the sun hits it just right. The beautiful turquoise of blue that captivates me. I am in love with you. All of your flaws. All of your perks. Everything about you. I'm always here for you. I will never leave you; Not now, not ever. I love you, I love you, I love you, and guess what? I love you. Don't ever forget that. Ever."

By this point, I'm sobbing hysterically. "I believe you, Levi. I believe you, I believe you, I believe you. I also love you so much, Levi. So so so much. You're my world. You're everything to me. I'm dumb to every realize I would end my life, because I would never imagine a life without you. I am so so so so sorry," I say through sobs. 

"I know, Eren. Promise me you won't ever do that again."

"I promise, My Love, I promise."

"Let's go back to my house. You should just move in with me."

I smile at the idea. "I would love that."


	26. Their First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys have some sexy time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, there’s a sex scene in this chapter 🥴

**(Eren's pov)**

Levi and I arrive at his house after talking about moving in. I want to take up the offer, but I don't know how my dad will react...well, you know what? Fuck what he thinks! He also made my life a living hell, I shouldn't let him get to me. I'm moving in with Levi and that's final. 

"Hey, kiddo," Kenny says to me with a smile while ruffing up my hair after nodding his head to Levi, acknowledging that he's here. 

"Hey, Kenny," I reply with a tired smile. On the inside, I'm smiling like crazy. I finally feel like I belong. I finally felt like this is family...my true family.

"Hey, Kenny?" Levi asks. 

"Yes?" Kenny responds. 

"Do you think it'll be okay if Eren moves in with us? He's having a hard time at home."

"Of course, you're always welcome here, Eren. I know Levi and I both think of you as family."

I blush slightly. "Thank you. It means a lot," I say, giving him a bow.

"Hey, hey. Straighten up, Kid. There's no need to be so formal. Like I said, we're family."

"You're right, thank you."

"I'll go with you so you can get all your stuff," Levi says, intertwining our fingers together and walking out of the door. 

It takes a little while to get to my house because we have to cross the bridge. We are walking on it and I stop, looking at where I almost jumped off not even 15 minutes ago. My eyes start to tear up. "Eren? What's wrong, Love?" Levi asks me, gripping my hand tighter. 

I turn away, looking at Levi. "N-nothing, I'm okay," I lie. 

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," I lied again. 

"Okay."

We start to walk again. These next few weeks might be a little boring because Levi's not letting me go to school. Hell, he's barely letting me out of his house without him going with me. I also can't even have knives or razors with me unless he's around. He's so overprotective that it's cute.

We reach my house and we walk in the house, my dad and his girlfriend now watching TV on the couch. We walk into my room and realize how messy it is. "Shit," I mutter. 

"What?" Levi asks, putting his arms around my waist from behind, nuzzling his head onto my back. 

"Nothing...it's just a huge mess."

"Tch, you're just figuring that out now?"

"Well, yeah. What did you expect? I was about to kill myself. Did you really think the thought in my head was that my room should be fucking spotless?" I say sarcastically. 

"I mean...yeah. I would."

"Well, I'm not you, Levi," I accidentally say sternly. Levi looks taken aback from my comment, and my change of attitude. I mumble an apology, zipping up my bag and grabbing Levi by the arm before pulling him out of my room. 

I yell at my dad that I'm going to move in with Levi, and he says nothing. Again. He never listens to me. I push these thoughts to the back of my head, quickly walking back to Levi's...No, our house. 

**~Time skip brought to you by Eren's angry depression~**

It's been two weeks since I moved in with Levi, and I realized something: If anyone is good at turning me on, it's Levi. Only Levi. No one else on the face of the earth can seduce me like he does, kiss me like he does, touch me like he does; he's practically making me liquid in his hand. 

Presently, he's peppering my neck and jaw with an abundance of kisses, hands tightly making themselves home on my waist. He rubs softly at my exposed skin where my shirt has evidently rode up my torso. Only Levi can have me like this.

Levi seems to be lost in the wild sensation him and I are both feeling, because soon after his rubbing stopped, his marking does as he sits up. His eyes are hooded and unreadable. He's fumbling with the first of many buttons on his black button up shirt. "Eren, you sure you want to do this?" Levi speaks quietly. 

I know every atom in his being screams take me, but who knew what his mind was screaming at him at the same time? "If you're ready, I'm ready, okay?" He says. Levi suddenly stops unbuttoning his shirt.

_'Look, we could work on it, okay Babe? Little by little, we could get there...okay, Eren?'_ I remember those words when he spoke to me the night I first stopped him, and ever since three months ago, we've been working on it. Small steps adding up to this moment now where we can finally, after all this damn waiting, and admittedly, mine, have our way. 

"I'm ready...Levi." I whisper more to myself than him. I don't know the first step to successful love making, but with Levi, whom has had more nights in with others than I have—although he doesn't like to talk about them—my first night could be a success, if not in his eyes, in mine.

"Tell me as soon as you don't feel up for it, Eren. I can wai-" Before he can finish his sentence, I have my lips securely against his. I hear a gasp just barely make itself from Levi's lips before I cover it. 

Soon after, our lips are moving together in unison. Together, they are colliding with more fever than I'd experience in my whole life, and pretty quickly, it starts to get more addicting, more infectious that neither of us can pull away. 

"I don't remember Levi being this good of a kisser," I think profoundly to myself as his tongue slowly, but surely coaxes between my lips where he meets mine; warm and fluent like the French language. 

It's so passionate, so...alluring. Not long after, he's straddling my hips, kiss broken, my palms rest on his hard chest, and not surprisingly, his excitement shown physically in his boxers. 

"L-Levi," I mutter, looking into his eyes which I can't get enough of no matter how long I look at them. His sexy, silverish blue eyes, still as emotionless as ever. 

"Eren, are you okay?" Levi asks, his eyebrows knitting together in concern, his lips frowning. I nod in response. I can't seem to speak; like my throat os closed off. His eyes' need, seem to blow me away. 

"Are you uncomfortable? We can stop if you want," Levi seems genuine, but the look in his eyes tells a different story. He wants this, and in all honesty, so do I. I want to feel this. I want to make him happy. I want to be happy with him beside me in bed. After all he's done for me, the least I can do is give him my body. 

"Levi, I want this. I don't feel uneasy, okay?" I crack him a smile as he does the same as much as he possibly can with his stoic face. I lean down and give him a small kiss on the lips. 

He wraps his arms around me, and holds my waist tightly as he begins to lead the kiss, his tongue taking dominance quickly and easily which ends up pulling a whimper out of me. 

The sound seems to awaken something within him, because as soon as the sound is made, he's smirking into the kiss and reversing our roles. His body hovering over me, and my body underneath him as he easily strips of his shirt. 

I can't help but stare helplessly at his body, how his white skin seems to glow in the dim light of his bedroom, but I can't get enough. He starts to unbutton my black shirt, which takes him under a minute, and suddenly, though I expects to feel phantom discomfort, I feel totally and utterly ready for him; mentally, and physically. 

"Eren, don't hesitate to stop me, okay?" Levi says huskily, yet I can still hear the concern in his voice. I can still see his readied cock through his trousers. If I stop now, who knows how long that'd take to get rid of? "But hand in hand, don't hold in a single sound, while I do this," I'm confused to what he meant, but he's already kissing my neck with his want, his tongue slightly grazing and lightly sucking before I can answer. 

I can't help the light moan that escapes my lips, but I redeem my innocence by biting down on my bottom lip to save the sounds for later. Much later. "I said don't hold them in, Loverboy," Levi mumbles against my neck as he kisses. 

"Levi," I whisper as his lips trail down, kissing my clavicle, chest, and abdomen all in the period of my fluttering nerves. The heat rising in my cheeks is evident, and my sudden thirst, is foreign to my system. I have my hand traveling down, slipping beneath the waistband of my tight underwear. 

I expect to be stiff, and stiff I am. My cold hands making contact with my member only draws another moan from me. This time much more unexpected, that it sounds like a gasp. "Eren, you're a little more sensitive than most days," Levi coos as he kisses the hand lodged in my boxers. I look down to see Levi's eyes closed, his brows knit together as if he's in some sort of pain. 

"Levi, are you okay?" I mutter under my breath, my senses still dancing. Levi chuckles as he unbuttons my jeans, and a steady thumping in my cock distracts me completely. 

"I'm more than okay, just a little too ready for this," he says as he pulls my hands out of my boxers and replaces it with his. Steady palming it is all he has to do to have me whispering his name repeatedly. I can't help but notice the thumping turn into a slow, soft throb. 

"L-Levi, s-stop," I whine as I arch my back. I don't want him to stop just yet. Levi's palming doesn't seize, but it does slow down, which makes it even more agonizing. I groan quietly as my eyes close shut. 

"Eren, are you okay?" Levi asks, but I quickly give a nod back, not wanting to break my concentration on how Levi's wrist flicks and kneads into my now twitching cock. 

"Are you too pent up to answer me?" Levi asks, and though my eyes were closed, I can feel him smirk. I want him, now.

"L-Levi, I'm more th-than ready," I mutter, and Levi knows by the look on my face that I'm just as eager as I sound. So he pulls out his hand and let me pull off my pants. 

"L-Levi!" I criticize as he thrusts his fingers in a rhythm that has me trembling. I'm laying on my back, arms around Levi's neck, one hand of his flat on the bed, while his other are readying me with full force. Levi's eyes are closed, doing things like imagining; imagining what, was the question. 

His labored breaths is all it takes for me to know he's waiting on a string, so close to loosing all sense of gentility and being under control. And I'm just that little bit calmer than he was...until he grazes my prostate. "L-Levi, there," I groan as he now knows where I feels it best. 

I grind into his moving fingers, deepening them, thus making the light grazing a hard, and more pleasing probing of my sweet spot. "Eren, we don't want you cumming just yet," Levi says, his voice deeper, soaking with lust. "I'm going to pull out now, I think you're more than ready." Levi assures and I nod, feeling him slip away. Only for his hands to reach to his boxers, where his member makes a temporary tent. He pulls them down slowly, almost like it's a grand prize, yet to be revealed. And it is...to me at least. 

Once down and his palm steadily around his cock, I can just feel myself start to tremble with more vigor, salivate uncontrollably. "Levi...Levi...fuck me," I plead as he positions his hard member between my legs, just grazing my entrance. But he doesn't enter straight away, he all but slowly rubs his head against me, teasing beyond compare, agony, painful play is one thing I don't cope well at all. 

I groan as I throw my hands around Levi's neck once more, one of his hands now place beside my head, the other lifting my hips up to his member. And then, he slides in, my walls tightening around his traveling cock. "A-Ah, fuck," Levi mutters as he holds still for a fraction before his hips began to create a rhythm that has me whimpering his name out, soft and needy. 

The smirk on his lips says he liked it, but the slow in his hips said he wants to tease me, just a little longer, and to my dismay, I'm not allowed to fasten our movements on my own. "L-Levi, q-quicker," I mumble as my eyes close, his member slipping inside and outside my ass only felt like heaven, how much more if he was pounding on me?

"You want me deeper than this? I'm almost buried to the hilt," Levi groans lightly, evidently forcing more of himself inside. To now, which I can feel in my stomach, just almost grazing my prostate, I can feel it being probed.

"D-deeper, stop being gentle~" I moan, my heart picking up pace, my thighs spasming with every thrust Levi gave. 

"You want it rough," Levi reinforces, repeating just to make sure he heard correctly. 

"Yes, do what you want to me, I-I owe you the very least. You saved my life," I mutter, but he doesn't hesitate to quicken up his pace, his shaft traveling further, quicker, deeper. I let out a sharp gasp. 

"G—Levi!" I cry out, the tip of his cock pounding my prostate, constant whimpering is heard every time he grinds against it, faster or for slower. 

I can hear his groans too, a constant 'Mmmh~' is heard from his behalf, rough, husky, voice spewing such angelic sounds. An onslaught of jumping is sending me into a fit of hysterics. My nails, clawing at Levi's back, dragging them across because of sheer bliss I'm feeling, and sometimes he goes a little too deep, a little too fast, and a little too hard for me. 

I want to tell him to slow down, to steady him because I don't want to finish too quickly, but I can't find my voice. Whenever I try to tell him, to speak, it's comes out as a thirsty, pleading moan. 

My brown eyebrows knit together as I can feel my peak nearing, but I don't want this moment to be over yet, not when I'm enjoying myself so damn much. "L-Levi.~ cum inside me. Cum inside me...please.~" I can't help my thoughts. 

I can't stop myself from saying those, unholy words, but at the speed of which Levi is practically climbing into me, and at how I feel so sensitive to his touch, how every time he pounds, it slams right into my sweet, sweet spot, I couldn't bother to care what I sound like. 

"You're doing good, Love," Levi hugs from above me, and I moan in response. 

***

"That was..." Levi mutters. "wow," Levi breathes after. All I can do was nod, my hair a mess, sweaty bodied, panting like a dog, eyes closed and legs apart while Levi lay next to me in bed in the same condition.

"I-I loved it," is all I can muster after a while, and all I can think of was how happy I make the decision to finally—officially—sleep with Levi. 

"I don't feel like cleaning up," I groan and lay on my side as Levi wraps his arms around my torso. 

"Tch, you know how I feel about filth," Levi mutters as he buries his face into my shoulder, he's warm and soft skinned, I can't help but lean into him.

"Yeah, yeah, but I just want to lay in bed with you, Levi," I mumble, but he taps my thigh, indicating we get up so we can shower. 

"Fine, let's shower, and then let's rest up, okay?" He asks, his eyes a little too pleading, so how can I say no?

"Sure, clean freak," and with these sentimental words, we head for the bathroom. 

As I'm drying myself from shower water, I can't help but notice how Levi is bent over the sink, brushing his teeth, and my eyes, luckily enough, travel lower and lower with every second. That is until I notice the mess on his back. "Oh my God, Levi," I whisper as I near him, a hand stretching on his back. 

**(Levi's pov)**

"What is it, Eren?" I ask just as I finish up. "What's the matter?" I look over to Eren and I feel the pang of guilt that washes over him as he declines his hand. 

"You have red marks all over your back, I'm so sorry," he mutters looking down at his feet. 

I walk over to the mirror and twist my body so that I can see my back in it. The lines are long; however, some are short, red, and puffy. Not all of them are deep enough to start bleeding, but the ones that are look awfully painful. Some cover my neck, but a smirk is etched onto my face. "thank you," I say, my voice is genuine, but Eren is confused. 

"Doesn't it hurt?" he asks quietly, peaking up at me through his chocolate brown hair, and I shrug, small and slow, but still there. 

"Only a little, but I take it as a compliment. If it was that good," and before he can question me any further, I walk out of the bathroom with a stroll, looking prouder of myself than a six year old who'd just learnt how to ride a bike. 

And I thought profoundly to myself. _"Tch, such a brat,"_ I smile. _"my brat."_


	27. Chapter 27

**(Eren's pov)**

Levi and I sit on his bed while I play with his hair. Sadly, we are both fully dressed. We're wondering what we want to do today since we won't be going to school. I sigh deeply, nothing coming to my mind about what I feel like doing. "How about we go shopping?" Levi suggests. 

"We went shopping last week," I replied I with boredom and a sigh.

Levi sighs. "You're right," I groan and flop onto the bed. "Oi, Loverboy, I was enjoying that."

"Tsk, sorry. I'm bored and exhausted."

Levi smirks. "Are you still tired from that?"

I roll my eyes. Of course I am. Sorry that was my first time and have no experience," I reply, fakely offended. 

"Tch, don't worry about it. I was like that too when I had sex with Jade. We both were, actually. I remember-"

"-Okay, Levi. I don't need details."

Levi chuckles. "Right. Well, think of something."

"Why don't you do it?"

"Because I've already come up with most of the ideas."

"Tsk, how about we just go for a walk?"

"We could do that," Levi stands, grabbing my arm so I will stand Levi. We walk out of the house and down the street, our fingers intertwined. It's a habit for us now, and I'm glad it is. I feel safe and happy, knowing that Levi is not even an inch away from me. Levi and I don't even know where we were going to go, we are kind of just...following each other.

**(Levi's pov)**

Eren and I are walking down this street which os filled with cafes, stores, restaurants, and etc. Eren nudges me which makes me look up at him. He gestures his head to across the road. My eyes widen and are flushed in anger. 

I let go of his hand and walks across the road, not aware of my surroundings. I made it across the road, however, I heard car wheels screech to a stop and something or someone get hit. My eyes widen and I turn my head in hope that it isn't Eren. Luckily, it isn't Eren, but it' someone else. 

Eren kneels next to a person covered in blood. I walk closer, to see bright blond hair drenched in blood. Eren ks shaking intensely and tears are falling onto the teen. I walk closer and put a hand on Eren's shoulder, looking down to see who it was. 

Eren's hands are covered in the person's blood. He clings tightly to them and I'm too shocked to call the ambulance, but luckily the man that was in the car is on the phone with the police.

The police and ambulance arrive and put the teen on the gurney as Eren still tries to cling to them. He's yelling apologies and that he should've been the one to get hit. It hurts me every time he says that he should've been the one to get hit and that it was his fault. 

When in reality, it was my fault. I didn't look where I was going when I crossed the road. I made Eren worry about me and walk across the road to catch up to me. It was my fault, that the person got hit. 

We arrive at the hospital and Eren quickly runs inside, asking to see the teen. The receptionist at the front desk doesn't allow them unless they were family. He started to yell. I apologized to the receptionist before I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him to the chairs, "It's my fault," He muttered through tears, his hand covering his face.

"It's not your fault, Eren," I reply, rubbing his back.

"It is, Levi. I carelessly ran after you. I wanted you to be safe. I should've been the one to get hit. It's my fault."

"Eren, it's not your fault. It's mine. I carelessly ran across the road. You chased after me in fear. They just happened to be there to push you out of the way."

"It's not your fault, Levi. I showed her to you. I mentally told you that she was here which made you run across the road and I ran for you. It's my fault."

"If anything, Eren, I should've been the one to get hit. Like I said, I was the one that carelessly ran out of the road. None of this was your fault."

"You don't understand, Levi. I could've waited to see if you would safely run across the street. I wasn't thinking when I ran across."

"Were you hoping that I didn't make it across so you could be the hero?" I ask, assuming that's what he means. 

"What? Levi, that's not it at all! What makes you think that!?"

"I...I don't know, Eren. I'm sorry, I'm just stressed right now."

"Don't take responsibility for them."

"You shouldn't either."

**(Eren's pov)**

I reluctantly agree with Levi as the doctor walks in. "Eren Jaeger?" The doctor asks.

"Yes, that's me," I reply before standing.

After seeing me, the Doctor tenses up more. My cheeks are tear-stained, my eyes are bloodshot, and my hands and face are covered in blood. "Excuse me for the words I'm about to say...But, I'm sorry for your loss," At these words, I collapse to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Damnit! Damnit! Damnit!!! It's all my fault!! It's all my fucking fault!" I scream, punching the ground, getting everyone's attention.

"They did want me to tell you something," I perk my head up. "Their final words were, 'Please, tell Eren Jaeger: I'm very sorry for everything that I've done to you. I'm sorry I left you. I didn't want anything bad to happen to me. I was only thinking about myself. I'm so sorry. I wish I could've done something to make your life better, instead of worse.' I am very sorry, sir." 

My eyes widen and I grit my teeth. "I'm sorry...Armin."


	28. Chapter 28

**(Eren's pov)**

It's been a couple days since Armin's death, and I have done nothing but mourn in Levi's bedroom. I still blame myself for his death although Levi told me not to. I cry myself to sleep, cuddled up into the crook of Levi's neck, drenching his back in tears every night.

I haven't even taken a bath since so my hands, arms, legs, hair, and etc still disgustingly have Armin's blood on it. Armin's blood isn't disgusting, it's just the fact that it's been sitting on my body for a couple days. 

Levi knocks on the door, leaning against the door frame wearing all black. "It's time for you to get ready, Love. Today's the day," He says softly.

I say nothing and stand, grabbing all black clothing and a towel. I take a shower, making it long so all the blood can wash out. I sigh, leaning my forehead against the wall of the shower. Tears fall down my face. "I am so not ready for this," I think, memories of that certain day coming back to me.

***

_Levi and I are walking down the street, our fingers intertwined. In the corner of my eye, I see familiar strawberry blonde hair. "She's already up and walking again?" I think before nudging Levi, making him look up to me. I gesture my head towards Petra and his eyes widen before flushing with anger._

_Levi unlatches my hand and runs across the road. "Levi," I warn before walking after him. Levi stops at the sidewalk and I stop in the middle of the road, relieved that he made it safely.  
_

_I turn my head to my right to see a car coming at me, right after turning at the intersection and being on their phone. I freeze, like a deer in headlights. My eyes wide and everything seems to slow down.  
_

_I turn my head behind me to see Armin running at me. "Why isn't he at school?" I think as he pushes me out of the way, making me land just inches from the car that hit Armin, instead of me. "Oh my god, Armin! Armin!?" I yell, my voice full of worry.  
_

_He doesn't respond and I start to panic. I run up to Armin who was covered in blood. I cradle him. "I'm so sorry, Armin. This was all my fault. I should've been the one to get hit. I am so so sorry. Please, you're going to be okay," I shake intensely.  
_

_My teeth are gritted as I cry. I flinch slightly when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look at it, and instantly know it's Levi's. I sob uncontrollably as I got smothered in Armin's blood._

_The man who was in the car is calling the police and not long after, they come and put Armin on the gurney. I cling to Armin, yelling apologies, yelling to him that it was my fault and that I'm the one who should've gotten hit._

***

Not even 30 minutes after that, I got the news that kept me up all night. I haven't got it out my brain and I get brought to tears every time. 

I turn off the shower and walk out, drying my hair and body before putting on my black clothing and brushing my hair. "You ready?" Levi asks. I reluctantly shake my head and grab Levi's hand, climbing into the car with Kenny.

**~Time skip~**

The three of us arrive at the church and is immediately met with the depressed aura that surrounds everybody. Once they see me, they give me dirty looks. I look down at the floor, tearing up and not wanting to look anybody in the eyes. 

We walk into where people are already sitting; Armin's coffin in the front. People are already crying...hell, even I'm starting to cry. Levi and I sit near the back where no one is sitting so I won't get glared at.

People go up and says a few words, some people sing to him, some people start crying, but I'm not crying. The tears that I had felt earlier, are gone. I don't feel like crying. It's like I cried out all my tears the nights and days before. 

I stare at the ground, gripping Levi's hand as tight as I can as he plays with my hand with his other. "Now, if you would like to say your goodbyes to Armin, now is the time," Armin's grandpa says as others stand. I stand as well, walking into the line to see Armin. 

I arrive in front of his coffin, my eyes bloodshot from earlier this morning, but not filled with tears. I stare at Armin. He's lifeless. His skin white as snow. His blue eyes are closed, but I'm sure the bright blue it used to be, is no more. It would be dull, dark, and lifeless. 

His wrists cross each other on his chest, he's wearing a black suit that fits nicely with him. I'm wide-eyed and shaking intensely. "I'm sorry...Armin. This is all my fault. If I had just watched where I was going and didn't stop in the middle of the road...You would still be alive and happy. I wish it had been me, Armin. You didn't deserve any of this, I deserved it...I deserved everything you did to me. I always broke my promises and I always yelled at you when it wasn't necessary. If only I had just been a better best friend then maybe you would still be alive. Maybe you could've helped me, but now we're never going to know. Say hi to your parents for me, will ya'? I love you and miss you already, Armin. Once again, I'm so sorry," I mumble to Armin's corpse.

I stand and grab Levi by the hand, pulling him out of where others are sitting. I walk to the front to see Jean and Marco on the chairs. Marco is comforting Jean while he has his face in his hands. Marco tenses up slightly when he see me which makes Jean look up from his hands. He glares at me with disgust and stand. "Jean, don't," Marco warns but Jean ignores him.

Jean walks up to me angrily, punching me in the cheek, causing the skin to break. "This is your fault, Asshole! This is all your fucking fault! You should've been the one to get hit, not Armin," Jean yells at me.

"Don't you think I already know that?" I mumble.

"What did you say!?" 

"I said, don't you think I already know that!? For your information, I was the one who saw him die. I was the one he saved. I was the first one to get notice of his death. I was the one who blamed myself for what happened to Armin and that's not all! I blame myself for everything! I blame myself for people trash talking Levi. I blame myself for you hating me. I blame myself for my mother's death. I blame myself for being myself, and that's why I almost committed suicide a couple weeks ago because people like you are making my life a living hell!" I snap.

"You...you what??" He seems genuinely concerned and I'm confused.

"I what?"

"You almost committed suicide!?"

"Yes! Why does that matter!? You hate me!"

"I don't hate you, Eren!"

"Yes, you do!? Why else would you make my life a living hell!?"

He tenses up. "Because I didn't want people to find out about the way I felt about you."

"What do you mean, Jean?"

"I mean, that I was in love with you!"

I stand there confused. "What the hell?"


	29. Chapter 29

**(Eren's pov)**

I feel Levi tense up and he clench his fist while his other hand is gripping mine as hard as he can. Levi lets go of my hand and walked up to Jean, "Levi, don't," I say, grabbing his wrist and making him stop.

"Sorry, Love," Levi says before wrapping his arm around my waist and kissing me on the lips, obviously 'marking his territory'.

I roll my eyes at Levi. "What do you mean 'were'?" I ask Jean.

"Well, when Mikasa told me you were gay, I kind of freaked out because I was in love with you at the time. I say 'were' because I'm not in love with you anymore."

I feel a wave of sadness, for some reason, wash over me. "Oh. Why did you bully me, though? Why didn't you just talk to me? I would've understood. I would've waited for you."

"I know, I just didn't want to get made fun of...I did it for my own selfish desires."

"I see..." I drift off at the end of the sentence, turning my head to look at Levi. His eyes are full of confusion yet sadness. "Levi? Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just have to go outside for some fresh air and take in that my boyfriend's bully who made his life a living hell used to be in love with him at the time that he was also in love with him. Also, my boyfriend practically just told him that he would've waited for him because he was that in love," Levi replies coldly before letting go of my waist and walking out the front door of the church.

I look at Jean with an apologetic look before running outside to look for Levi. I look around erratically before I see Levi sitting on some steps with his face in his hands. "Hey," I say quietly as I sit next to him, a fair distance away. "I'm sorry."

"I can't do this anymore."

"What do you mean you can't do this anymore?"

"Eren, I can't live with this constant fear that you're going to leave me. I can't live with this constant fear that you're not happy with me. I can't deal with the fact that you might not be over Jean yet. I don't want to lose you. I don't want to live with the fear that you may be using me to get to Jean. I can't do this...us." 

"Levi, I'm tell you that you're not going to lose me. I'm not going. Not now, not ever. I love you, Levi. I love you and only you."

"And I'm telling you that I'm breaking up with you. We're done, Eren."

"But Levi-"

"-No, Eren. Don't talk to me."

"Fine," I say before standing and shoving my hands in my pocket and walk down the steps, away from the church and Levi.

It takes a while, a couple of hours I believe, to get back to my house. No, not Levi's or Kenny's house, the one where my father and his girlfriend are. Although, I'm pretty sure she and my dad broke up because when I got there, she wasn't here and my dad was pissed. 

The moment I walked in, he slapped me across the cheek and asked me where I was and shit like that. He was probably too drunk to remember anything that happened that day.

Currently, I'm locked up in my room. My dad shoved me up here but it's not like I'm complaining...I'd rather be cooped up in my room instead of out and interacting with the human world. 

I'll have to go back to school tomorrow, though, and I already know it's going to be a living hell. It's going to be too awkward for me to talk to Jean or Marco and Levi isn't going to talk to me. Mikasa is still mourning over Armin's death while Armin's grandpa takes care of her.

I look at my phone that Levi had gotten me a while ago so I could text or call him if I really needed it. I do need it, but I don't think Levi wants to talk to me right now. 

I turn it off and threw it inside a drawer. I walk into the bathroom and sit on the toilet with tears flooding my eyes and my face in my hands. _"Great, now I've lost two people because of me,"_ I think before perking my head up, feeling a presence.

‘ _Hello, Eren.’_

"Welcome back."

_'I'm dissapointed in you.'_

"Why?"

_‘You broke another promise.'_

"I found someone better."

_'But he's gone now.'_

"He'll come back."

_‘No, he won't’_

"I'm the boss here, you're in my body, so you do as I say."

_‘Can you at least do it for me? Please?'_

"Yeah, I'll cut for you. Every day."

_'Thank you, Eren. I'm glad you're starting to appreciate me.'_

"Yeah, yeah. You're welcome."

I stand from the toilet and rummage through my drawers. I take a deep breath once I find it and press it against my skin. I push harder as it breaks my skin and I slightly flinch. _"I haven't done this in a while. I should get used to it,"_ I think before slowly sliding it across my skin, making me yelp in pain but quickly shut up, knowing that my dad could hear me, and although he doesn't normally care, he will get me a therapist, and that is the last thing I want. He doesn't want to own a fucked up child. 

I sigh before pressing the razor against my skin again. I push harder so it goes deeper, the familiar feeling of emptiness coming back to me. Every cut, every breakage of my skin, make my eyes lose their color. 

It makes them lose their life, hope, and happiness left in them. I enjoy this feeling, and I've missed this feeling. I probably did a total of seven deeper cuts. I could've done more, but I started to feel dizzy and my vision blurred. 

I quickly wash off the excess blood before wrapping it in a bandage and putting on a long-sleeved shirt. _"Time to go back to my regular life before I met Levi,"_ I think.

**~Time skip~**

I sit on my bed, my legs criss cross. I didn't get any sleep and my wrist is still burning in pain from last night. I groggily get my way out of my bed before I walk to the bathroom. 

I stare at myself in the mirror. My eyes are bloodshot, but not only that, they are the darkest they've ever been. My bright turquoise that they used to be, are now dull. They are the darkest color of turquoise I have ever seen. My skin is now a lighter tan than what it was a couple days, let alone yesterday. 

I sigh, walking out of the bathroom after washing my face and putting on a long sleeved shirt over my bandage before grabbing my backpack. I stop at the top of the stairs before grabbing a jacket and zip it up, just in case my sleeve slips. I finally walk out of the door, saying my goodbyes to my dad.

I arrive at school and am immediately met with glares by everybody. I lower down my head, not wanting to look anybody in the eyes, and not wanting to attract any attention to myself. 

I walk into the classroom to see Levi already there. He still shows no emotion, and he shows no sign of crying. He looks up at me and I quickly move my head down to the floor, making my brown hair fall into my face. I put my hands in my pockets, tears already forming in my eyes.

**(Levi's pov)**

After Eren leaves the church, I stuff my face back into my hands. My heart hurts. Bad. It feels like it's getting squeezed. The damage is done, though. I can't do anything about what I said. I can't face him right now. I told him not to talk to me. 

I start to walk home, my hands in my pockets. I haven't cried, I'm not able to cry. I'm used to it at this point. I lost someone close to me again, and it was my fault. 

My thoughts consume me as I reach my house, slowly opening the door. Kenny greets me and I lock myself in my room. 

***

I wake up the next morning exhausted. I slowly get myself out of my bed and get ready before driving to school. I ignore everyone's eyes and go into the classroom, not seeing Eren yet. 

Not long after, I hear the door slide open and footsteps stop. I look up to see Eren. He quickly darts his head towards the ground and walks to his desk, but I Hey a good look of the way he looks. 

His eyes are bloodshot, but that using the only thing I noticed. His eyes are dull, saddened, and lifeless. There is no hope left in them, it's like the color got drained out of them. The bags under his eyes are noticeable like he didn't sleep much. His skin color is a lighter shade of tan already and his beautiful brown hair is unbrushed like when we first met. 

Today, he's very tense and on edge. When the bell rings, he flinches as the loud students walks into the classroom. I watch him throughout the class as Hanji babbles on about how her weekend went. 

Eren is rubbing his wrist and I see teardrops fall from his eyes onto his desk. He tries to keep in his sniffles, but it doesn't work. He sniffles loudly which makes the class turn to him and Hanji stops talking. 

He doesn't hold it any longer and he starts to sob. "P-please...e-e-excuse me. I-I'm sorry H-Hanji," He says through tears and stands, running out of the classroom into the hallway, covering his eyes with his forearm.

"Hanji? May I please be excused?" I ask after standing up. 

"Yes, be quick," Hanji replies. 

Before I leave, I turn to Jean to see he has a worried look on his face. I scoff and roll my eyes before going to the bathroom that Eren always goes to. I walk in the bathroom to hear sobs. "Eren?" I say quietly before knocking on the stall Eren is in. 

"Go away," He mutters. 

"I'm not going, Eren. Open this stall."

"No."

"Eren, I'm going have to kick it open if you don't let me in."

He sighs. "Yeah, just give me a moment."

"No, Eren. Right now. I want to check something."

"No."

"Tch, fine," I reply before kicking the door down. Eren has seven new cuts up his arm and tears are falling uncontrollably. "Why, Eren?" I ask sternly. 

Eren quickly rips his arm out of my grasp and wraps his cuts back up before pulling down his sleeve and putting on his jacket. "You told me to not talk to you. I lost you and it's my fault. You were the person I loved for, but know that you're not here anymore...I have no reason for living. My chest ache and it breaks my heart every time, knowing that every time I take a breath, it's a life without you."

"Eren-"

"-Shut up, Levi," He says coldly before walking out of the bathroom. 


	30. Chapter 30

**(Third pov)**

The brunette walks out of the bathroom, tears running down his face. The ravenette stands in shock after what just happened with the brunette. Tears never come to his eyes, but his heart breaks even more than the night before.

Eren runs out of the school, still crying as he runs down the street to his house. He runs to the front porch quickly and opens the door and slams it shut as he runs into his bedroom. 

He hugs his stomach as he tries to keep in his sobs. His heart is hurting. It felt like his heart is getting squeezed and ripped out before shattering. His head is pounding. He feels like he's going to throw up. He is in so much pain, all because of a heartbreak. 

***

Levi walks into class to see that Eren never went back. He instantly begins to worry. He's distracted throughout the whole day, wondering if Eren is okay. He didn't want to break up with Eren, not in the slightest. 

He was scared, paranoid and in denial. He didn't want to think that he really used to be in love with Jean and that Jean used to be in love with him too. He was so afraid that Eren would leave him...that he left Eren before it was too late.

The school day ends and Levi still sees no sign of Eren. He finally musters up the courage to go to Eren's house to check up on him. He knocks on the door and gets no answer. 

Grisha's car isn't here, so he walks into the house. He thinks it's weird because the door is unlocked. When Eren is home alone, he always locks the door. 

Levi walks up the stairs and starts to hear sobs from Eren's room. He quietly opens the door and goes wide-eyed at what he sees in the room. 

Eren is hugging his stomach in the corner of his room with his forearms, his nails digging into the sides of his torso causing it to break the skin as blood drips down to his hips. Eren's sobs are uncontrollable, he has never seen or heard Eren cry this hard. 

Eren is looking down but looks up when he hears Levi's footsteps. He bad claw marks on the side of his head. His eyes are the most bloodshot Levi has ever seen. His eyes are duller than this morning. He's paler--from blood loss--and he has more burns and cuts on his arms than before. When Eren locks eyes with Levi, his eyes go wide-eyed. "Eren," Levi says quietly.

"Go away, Levi. I don't want you here. Seeing you here reminds me of my mistakes," Eren says through sobs.

"Are you telling me that our relationship was a mistake?"

"Of course not. I'm the mistake."

"Eren, you're not a mistake."

"Then what am I?"

Levi thinks about it before answering. "I don't know, you're not a mistake."

Eren scoffs. Levi's confused, he foes the know why Eren scoffed, but he did. "Just leave, Levi."

"Fine," Levi replies before leaving his room. As Levi walks away, he can hear Eren's sobs echoing throughout the house. "What have I done?" Levi thinks.

**(Levi's pov)**

The next morning, I wake up even more exhausted than yesterday. I Hey ready and drive to school, ready for the shit day that's about to come. When I arrive, I don't see Eren anywhere. Of course, I'm early so I don't think much of it, but later on, the bell rings and I still see no sign of Eren. 

I don't think much of it either because of what happens last night. He probably doesn't want to face me, and I respect that. I understand why. I'm the one that told him not to talk to me, yet I go ahead and talk to him. I'm a terrible person, aren't I?

I'm walking home and I see Eren from the corner of my eye, I stop. He's standing on the bridge, luckily, he isn't standing on the edge. He's leaning on the edge with his forearms, his beautiful brown hair flowing in the slight breeze. 

He's looking out to the river, admiring it. He lets out a heavy sigh. "I don't want to live anymore," He says softly, but I can hear him. He turns around and freezes once he see me. 

I slightly smile a toothless smile, but his face is as emotionless as mine would be. He puts up his hood and walks towards me. I tense up as he gets closer but he ignores me and walks past me. I sigh softly before pushing what just happened to the back of my mind, but the words he said, still ring in my mind. However, I end up ignoring that as well.

I finally get home and walk inside, immediately met with Kenny. "Hey, Kenny," I say softly.

"Is Eren okay??" He asks in worry.

"Yeah, I just saw him...why?"

"Grisha committed suicide yesterday."

I go wide-eyed but shakes it off. "He deserved it."

"He didn't deserve to die. If he committed suicide, then he realized his sins and didn't think he could've been helped. Yes, he's done some bad things but he was still Eren's dad and he still loved him. Hell, Grisha even loved him. When we're at work, he can't stop talking about how proud he was of Eren. I think this is my fault."

"Why would this be your fault, Kenny?"

"He was talking to me the day yesterday at work before he did it, and he told me that he feels bad for what he's done to Eren and wants to make it right. He feels bad for the sins that he's created and wants to put a stop to it. He told me that maybe Eren would have a better life if he wasn't around."

"Where do you caught up in this?"

"I could've told him that Eren would forgive him, but I just nodded my head and agreed with him. I didn't know he meant suicide. I thought he just meant that he would leave like he did when he was a child. I didn't know."

"Exactly, Kenny. You didn't know what he meant."

"But-"

"-Kenny, it's not your fault."

He sighs. "You're right. We're going to his funeral, it's in two weeks."

I nod my head. "I just hope Eren's okay," I mumble.

**(Eren's pov)**

I heard the news, and I am not okay.


	31. Chapter 31

**(Eren's pov)**

I found out about my dad's suicide. It happened yesterday during my first hour at school. I ran home and ran into my room. I didn't think much of my dad not being at home. I thought he was at work. My dad's car wasn't at home, so that's why I thought so. In reality, though, he sold it to pay for our taxes and what we actually needed. I knew something was off with him when I got back, and it just wasn't because of his ex-girlfriend. The slap he gave me, wasn't as hard as it usually would be, and he was drunk.

When Levi left, I decided to take a shower and I noticed that we actually had shampoo and conditioner. I took my hour-long shower and looked at the time. He gets off work at 4 on Monday's, and it was 4:15. He's never this late, he would want to get home as fast as possible. I still don't understand why because he loves working as a doctor. I walked out of my bathroom and walked around the house looking for him. 

I hear nothing every time I call for him. There is one room which I hadn't check yet, which is his. I was never allowed in his room so I would never see it. What I saw, scarred me for life. 

My dad is hanging by the ceiling fan. His turquoise eyes were lifeless like mine. His skin was a greyish color from lack of oxygen. There was a chair on the floor that he probably used. 

My eyes widened and I was in denial. I may not have made it seem like it, but I really loved him. I didn't care what he did to me, I was just glad he was back, no matter what. I hated living in that house alone with no money because no one would hire me for a job.

I look around his room, and then I find a letter on his bed that I didn't see before. I pick it up and unfold it. "Last night was one of those nights where you numbly close the door behind you. Where you stare at your hands for long minutes before finally breaking. Where you gasp for air, sobbing silently about all the sins that you've created at once. Where everything that is wrong with you and what you've done to the world that you just can't deal with. You end up dealing with it anyway and you cry yourself to sleep; you're breaths irregular. The next morning, you wake up huddled in the corner of your bed with a sore neck and a pounding headache that you just can't get rid of. But, you get out of bed anyway. This morning was not like that morning.

Eren, my son.

I love you dearly. It may not have seemed like it, but I regretted every hit, kick, knee, punch, and so on that I gave you. I realized my sins and I had to do something about it. I'm sorry I didn't come talk to you. I felt like this was the only way. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you. I decided to do it after you left for school so we could say goodbye to each other one last time.

I love you, Eren.

The man unworthy of being called your father, Grisha."

I sit on my father's bed, sobbing endlessly, holding the note in one hand and covering my mouth with the other, "I'm so sorry, father," I muttered to him, hoping he can hear me from Heaven...or Hell, wherever he went. I just wanted him to be happy where he is. I couldn't go to school the day after that. 

I do go over to Kenny's house, though, knowing that Levi will be at school. I have the note in one hand as I knock on the door. "Hey, Kidd-Hey, what's wrong?" He asks after opening the door and seeing my tear-stained face. I say nothing as I hand him the letter. He reads it and his eyes widen and start to tear up. "Holy shit, Eren. Are you okay?" I shake my head as more tears start to fall down my face. "Come in, Eren. Please, you need it." 

I reluctantly step inside, mumbling a thank you and sitting on the couch. We sit in silence, only my sobs being heard, "Hey...I gotta tell ya something kid." I perk my head up. "It's about your father."

"Wh-what is it?" I stammer. He tells me about what happened at work yesterday and I go wide-eyed before running out of their house and back to my own. 

I run into my room and unzip my jacket, as it's really hot in my room, and take off my long sleeve and unwrap my bandage. I'm sweating like crazy and my dad os still in his room, I closed the door so I wouldn't have to see it. I finally end up standing up and going outside after I put on a sweater.

I walk over to the bridge and lean onto the railing. I'm glad to not go to school or I would have another breakdown, and that would not be good. I already attracted too much attention to me yesterday. 

I look out at the river, the beautiful blue that sparkles when the suns hit it just right. The weather is perfect. It's too cold, but it's not too hot either. It's mild with the right amount of cool breeze that makes my messy brown hair flow slightly. 

My brain is flooded with thoughts. I faint stop thinking about my dad and Levi. I lost two of the people I loved dearly in a matter of two days. "I don't want to live anymore," I mutter quietly before turning around to walk home. 

I freeze when I see Levi on the other end of the bridge. He gives me a small, toothless smile that I always adored. My heart flutters once I see the smile. I blush so I pull up my hood and stuffs my hands in the sweater pockets before walking towards Levi.

Before I look at the ground, I see him tense slightly. I say nothing to him as I walk past him back home, to where my hanging father still hung. I haven't had the chance to call the ambulance because I've been scared out of my mind. 

I turn on my phone to call Kenny. I ask him to call the police and the ambulance. Luckily he agrees, but unluckily, Levi came with him.

They arrive at my house and I'm only expecting Kenny, but Levi got out of the car too. We lock eyes and I quickly look away. The policemen order me to stay outside. 

I reluctantly agree as I stare at them go inside. Not long after, they bring my dad out on a gurney and I look away. I can't stare at his lifeless body again. 

I flinch when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up to see Kenny with a hand on my shoulder. "The funeral will be held in two weeks," Kenny says to me. 

I nod my head and he walks away. I'm about to walk away to go to a park when Levi stops me. "Eren," He replies softly.

I don't have the energy to fight back. "Yeah?" I ask, just as soft.

"I'm sorry about your dad."

“It's okay, it's not the first time I've lost somebody I love," I reply coldly as I stare him in the eyes.

“Can we talk about what happened on the bridge?"

My eyes widen slightly. "Nothing happened on the bridge," I avert my eyes away from him.

"Eren, you said that you didn't want to live anymore."

"Huh, you heard that, then."

"Of course I did. You know I'm here to talk."

“You told me not to talk to me."

"You're doing it right now."

"Because...fine. It's true though. I don't want to live anymore. I keep losing everybody that I love dearly. First, it was my mother, and then it was Jean, and then it was Armin, and then it was you, and now my dad. You were the one person that I live for but you left me. You told me not to talk to you. You didn't trust me when I said that I loved you and only you. Unfortunately, I still love you with all my fucking heart but why does any of that matter when you don't trust me? Seriously, Levi."

"Eren, I still love you."

"Yeah, of course, you do. It's only been a couple days since you broke up with me. Of course, you would still love me unless it was fake. Also, don't go around thinking that you're the victim."

"But I don't think of it that way."

"Sure you don't. Levi, you can't help the way I feel. I don't want to live anymore. I lost you and you're not coming back if you keep the mindset in your mind that I'm using you to get to Jean and to make him jealous. Stop thinking about yourself once in a while and think about someone else's feelings," I reply in anger before turning around and walking away. 

I keep in my tears the whole time while talking to Levi until I turn away from him. They flood down my face and no matter how much I wipe my eyes, I can never dry the tears from my eyes.

**(Levi's pov)**

I'm in shock after the conversation I had with Eren. I didn't know I meant that much to him. It's too late for me, though. I won't be able to fix the mistake that I made. It's the biggest mistake I've ever made to break up with him. I don't think he'll ever take me back after how bad I hurt him.

**~Time skip~**

It's been two weeks and I haven't heard from Eren at all. I haven't slept in those two weeks at all knowing that Eren may be out there alone, and possibly dead. 

Whenever mind trails to him committing suicide, I call him. He never answers so I think he's ignoring me until I ask Kenny to call him, just in case he is. He doesn't answer Kenny either so that's when I start to worry like crazy. 

I push it to the back of my head because he won't kill himself before going to his father's funeral; which is today. Two funerals in two weeks. Eren's life must be a living Hell right now. 

I sigh before climbing into the shower. I hum in delight once the warm water hits my back. A thought comes into my mind as I look at my shaving razor. "I haven't done that in a while," I think before shaking my head. "I can't start now. It was bad. I had to go to the hospital once because of it. Snap out of it, Levi. You told yourself you were never going to cut again, stick with that promise...For Eren."

_‘Aw, but Eren's gone now.'_

"Leave. I got rid of you years ago."

_'You thought you did. I was just hiding in the back of your mind.'_

"But-"

_‘-No buts, Levi. You didn't really commit suicide.'_

"But why are you appearing now?"

_‘You know why.'_

"Is it because of a relapse?"

_'Bingo! You're depressions coming back.'_

"But why now?"

_‘It's simple. It's Eren. He was your happiness, and now it's your fault that he's gone. You guys have a special bond.’_

"Shut up, I know how to control you now. Go away."

_‘Fine, Levi. Goodbye.’_

"Goodbye, mom."

**~Another time skip~**

I arrive in the church and I still see no sign of Eren. Of course, I'm early because I'm helping set up because Kenny is in charge since it was his idea for a funeral. It's the same church that Armin's funeral was held at. 

I set everything up for about twenty minutes when people start to come in and take their seats. Of course, it's still pretty early and we have about an hour left until the funeral actually starts, so I push the worry for Eren to the back of my head. He's going to come today, I know it.

An hour later, about ten minutes until the funeral starts, I see Eren walk into where everyone is sitting. His hands are in his pockets and his head is down to the floor. I run up to Eren and give him a hug. He pushes me off of him. "What do you want, Levi?" He asks coldly.

"Nothing, I was just worried about you. You didn't answer any of my calls," I reply, grabbing his arm as he pulls away from me.

"I was ignoring you."

"Then how does that explain why you were ignoring Kenny's calls, too?"

He slightly tenses up and he blushes from embarrassment. He sighed. "I turned off my phone. I was thinking about doing it. I was thinking about meeting up with my mom and dad. I know that they're happy wherever they are."

"Don't you know how much I would miss you?" He reluctantly agrees. "But...why didn't you do it?"

A blush reappears on his face. "I...nothing."

"You can tell me anything, Eren. Know I still love you with all my heart. I was worried out of my mind about you. I couldn't get you out of my mind. My brain wandered off to you committing suicide and it scared me. I miss you so much, Eren. I'm so sorry for what I did. I didn't want to leave you. I was scared that you would leave me so I left you first. That was my mistake. I am so so sorry."

Eren smiles slightly. "I miss you too, Levi. I always have. The reason why I didn't do it, was because I thought there was hope left for me. That you would still love me the way I love you. I'm glad that you've finally come to your senses."

I chuckle. "Shut up, Brat," I reply before standing on my toes and pecking Eren on the lips.

“I missed that so much...I love you, Levi."

"I love you too, Eren."

The rest of the funeral is silent as silent sobs are heard around the church room. Eren doesn't cry at all, probably from crying for the past two weeks. 

After the funeral is over, Eren moves back in with me, and although we are still a little rusty, we are slowly going back to our regular relationship.


	32. Chapter 32

**(Levi's pov)**

It's been about a month or so since Eren moved back in with me and Kenny. We've gradually been getting closer and closer...but now I'm getting worried about him. The life in his eyes are still dull and now he's getting distant. We're not cuddling as much as we used to. We're not kissing as much as we used to. I miss the old Eren, but I think it's my fault he is the way he is. 

Presently, Eren is downstairs on the couch and I am sitting in my bed. No, we didn't get in a fight, he's been sleeping on the couch ever since he moved back in. I don't know what's up with him, but I'm finally mustering up the courage to ask him about it. 

I take a shower after getting out of bed. I put on a pair of pants and walk down the stairs while drying my hair with the towel. I'm not sure if he's awake, but I go to talk to him anyways.

When I get down the stairs, I see Eren sitting up and on his phone, looking through something on it. He looks up at me and blushes slightly and looks back down to his phone. 

**(Eren's pov)**

It's been a month ever since I moved back in with Levi and we got back together. I should be happier than I am that Levi and I are back together, but I've been distancing myself. I don't want to get hurt any more than I have. I don't want Levi to leave me again, but sometimes I think...am I doing the right thing?

Presently, I sit on the couch after waking up. I've been sleeping on the couch ever since I moved back in. I feel bad for not sleeping in the same bed as Levi, but I'm not so comfortable yet, I guess. I don't really know how to explain how I feel, so that's why I just don't try to explain it. 

I hear the shower turn on upstairs and assume that Levi is awake since he takes a shower every morning when he wakes up. I turn on my phone and look through my photos of me and Levi. Most of these pictures are when I was happy. 

I do notice, though, is that Levi isn't as happy as we all thought he was. If you look closely, you can see that some of the smirks he gives, are forced. Also, in his eyes, you can't see much life in them. Did I really not do that good of a job to make him happy?

I hear footsteps down the stairs so I looked up. I see Levi with black skinny jeans and a shirt slung across his shoulder as he dries his hair with a towel. 

I blush slightly after seeing his eight pack. The water slides slightly down his chest making it slightly sparkle in the light. There's some water running down his pink cheeks from the heat of the water. The tips of his nose os also slightly painted pink. 

I quickly turn my head back down to my phone and swipe through a couple more pictures. I hear Levi's footsteps get closer so I turn my phone off. 

He sits on the couch to my right. I slightly scoot away from him and he scoots closer. We do the same thing until I reach the arm of the couch and I can't scoot any further. "Eren," Levi says in an annoyed tone. 

I blush slightly at how close we are and I don't respond to him. "Please, Eren...listen to me. I just want to talk," He says, putting a hand on my thigh and I shove it off.

"What is it?" I ask in a bored tone. 

"I...I just want to know why you're being so distant to me lately. Ever since you moved back in we never cuddle and when we do, it's always a half-ass cuddle on your side. We've kissed like three times in the past month and they were both sloppy kisses. What is up with you, Eren?" I tense up at his words and I don't respond. "Is...is it my fault?"

“I wouldn't say that. I'm just afraid," I say softly and look into Levi's silver-blue eyes. His eyes aren't emotionless nor are they stoic. They are soft and full of worry and sadness. 

"Afraid of what, Eren?"

"I'm afraid of getting hurt again. I'm afraid of you leaving me like you did before and it being my fault...but I was thinking about it this morning when I woke up and I thought to myself, 'Is this really the right thing to do? Is distancing myself really a way to not hurt myself? What if I'm hurting Levi?' I don't want to do that. You're my world and I wouldn't ever want to hurt you. Am I?" Levi averts his eyes away from me and blushes slightly. "I am...aren't I?" He nods his head slightly as my eyes fill with tears. "Oh my God, Levi. I am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you," I finish, putting my hands on his face, forcing him to look at me. The tears that I kept in my eyes start to fall when I see Levi's teary eyes. 

"I know you didn't mean to hurt me I was just afraid that I did something wrong. I was just as afraid as you are. It took me this long to confront you about it because I was afraid you would've left me if I did talk to you about it. I love you, Eren...so so much," He replies with a genuine smile which makes my heart flutter. He wipes my tears with his thumbs after he puts his hands on my face as well. 

“I know, Levi. I know. I love you, too. I don't want is to ever to break apart. We will have our ups and downs and or fights, but we'll get through this together. I promise you I will try my hardest to make you happy, to make you laugh, and to make you smile. I love you. Maybe a little too much sometimes," I laugh and Eren laughs with me before we connect our lips. 

"I'm never leaving you," We say simultaneously. 

**Author's Note:**

> New chapter as soon as I can publish


End file.
